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Effectiveness

The Value of Positive Images

On March 3, 2016 / Effectiveness

One of the things I often emphasize in working with students is making heavy use of positive images as it concerns personalities, capabilities, and behavior. This practice is powerful and especially useful for teachers who work with students with NBB (neurological-based behavior).

Body, mind, and emotions fully intermingle and each is understood in terms of the others. Feelings, learning, and physical behavior all work in conjunction and are inseparable. A change in behavior is as much emotion based as it is cognition based—that is, it has as much to do with feelings as with knowledge.

The human mind thinks not so much through the use of simple language but through the heavy use of pictures, images, and visions. Therefore, one … >>>

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Why Smiling is Important

On February 23, 2016 / Effectiveness

Studies suggest that smiling makes people appear more attractive, kinder, and by some accounts, easier to remember.

All smiles share something in common: an emotional foundation. Depending upon what the emotion is, the brain sends different instructions to the face. The areas in instigating a polite or voluntary smile (the kind exchanged with a bank teller, for example) are not the same ones involved in a more emotional smile (such as the kind that emerges on seeing a loved one or hearing a funny joke).

However, regardless of what prompts a smile, the results are the same. Both you and the recipient are prompted to have good feelings.

So share a smile today!… >>>

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Stress and the Brain

On February 18, 2016 / Effectiveness

We know that when stress overcomes us, choices seems limited, thereby decreasing effectiveness. Behavioral scientists have a name for this psychological reaction: learned helplessness.

This phenomenon has been studied in laboratory rodents whose nervous system bears striking similarities to that of humans. Here is how one experiment works. If you provide mice with an escape route, they typically learn very quickly how to avoid a mild electrical shock that occurs a few seconds after they hear a tone. But if the escape route is blocked whenever the tone is sounded, and new shocks occur, the mice will eventually stop trying to run away. Later, even after the escape route is cleared, the animals simply freeze at the sound of the … >>>

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Rewards and Motivation

On February 11, 2016 / Effectiveness

We know that rewarding fosters competition to see who gets the most number of rewards. We also know that using rewards as incentives to young people fosters feelings of punishments to those in school who believe they should have received a reward, but didn’t.

Recently a teacher relayed a story to me that perfectly sums up the pitfalls of relying on rewards. Her story is a perfect illustration of how external manipulators (giving rewards as reinforcers) do not do what adults would like them to do, namely, transfer the desired motivation.

“I have a cute story about rewards in the classroom. I teach first grade, and sometimes just getting the kids to remember their folders and to sharpen pencils is … >>>

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Physical Versus Behavioral Challenges

On February 4, 2016 / Effectiveness

As I’ve said in numerous blog posts and in my books, knowing “why” a child misbehaved does not change the child’s behavior. Whenever I promote this idea, some people respond saying that they believe knowing the reason for a person’s action is important. One person recently recounted an example in which knowing the “why” assisted in a situation where a child wasn’t doing his homework.

Here is my reply to that:
Many psychologists and therapists believe that knowing the “why” for a behavior is important. However, my quotes are from Dr. William Glasser, an internationally renowned psychiatrist and the author of “Reality Therapy”–updated in his newer, “Choice Theory.” He advocates that knowing the reason for a behavior may be of … >>>

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How Parents and Teachers Can be More Effective

On January 26, 2016 / Effectiveness

Implementing the three practices of positivity, choice, and reflection from the teaching model may feel awkward at first. This is natural. Unlike youth, who find little risk in attempting new activities, adults have established patterns and often feel anxious and uncomfortable when attempting something different from what they have already been doing. Realizing this at the outset will make it easier to attempt something new.

Doing something new or different requires making new habits, new neural connections. Practice makes permanent, and you will soon find that practicing the simple suggestions will become easier.

Think of a rocket or a space mission. Most of the energy, most of the thrust, has to do with breaking away—to surge past the gravitational pull. … >>>

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Assumption versus Inference

On January 12, 2016 / Effectiveness

In my books and my speaking, I often refer to assumptions and inferences. On the surface, these two things seem to be identical, but there are some subtle differences. Today I’d like to clarify what they are.

An assumption is something we take for granted or presuppose. In the teaching profession, for example, too many teachers assume that students know what the teacher wants the students to do—without the teacher actually teaching how to do it. Likewise, parents may assume that it is important for their children to get good grades in school. But their children may not have the same assumption. Good grades are important to some students but not for all. Or, a wife may assume that her … >>>

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Why Assessing Others Can Harm

On January 7, 2016 / Effectiveness

Never, never, never tell another person YOUR ASSESSMENT OF THAT PERSON. (This does not refer to a person’s behavior.)

The fact of life is that one never truly knows enough about a person to do that. Recently, overhearing a couple who have been married for many years, I heard the wife say to her husband, “I didn’t expect you to think that way.” She was pleasantly surprised by her husband’s take on a situation.

In this same vein of never completely knowing another person, a very successful teacher told me that her high school counselor told her that she was not smart enough to go to college. (Although college does require a minimum of academic skills, perseverance is a far … >>>

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Two Real Reforms to Improve Learning

On December 31, 2015 / Effectiveness

Efforts to promote learning (educational reform) have been headline news for many years. If you reflect on the number of reforms attempted in the United States in the last thirty years, you would need many fingers to count them. Then if you reflected on how many of these attempts to improve education are extant, you would be hard pressed to need any fingers.

W. Edwards Deming, the man who brought the meaning of quality as “continuous improvement” to the world, often stated, “ninety-six percent of the problem lies in the SYSTEM, not in the employees.” Deming empowered workers by using internal—rather than external—motivation, as described in the Levels oaf Development.

Here are two examples (of which I can list … >>>

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Help Students Feel Safe

On December 29, 2015 / Effectiveness

All students have two questions when they first enter any classroom:
(1) Will I fit in?
(2) Will I succeed?

Following are two simple ways to empower students so that their self-talk will be in the affirmative.

For the first question (Will I fit in?), reduce anonymity. Start the class by having students share the name they would like to be called and have them share one personal fact about themselves. It can be a hobby, a special interest, how they enjoy spending their time, a favorite movie, a special song—anything that others in the class can relate to about each student.

For the second question (Will I succeed?), use an empowering approach. Start an assignment or give a test … >>>

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How to Have People Like You

On December 24, 2015 / Effectiveness, Relationships

One of my favorite books of all time is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Originally published in 1936, the book went on to become one of the best-selling books of all time and made Carnegie an international celebrity.

His book was used as the text in my first college speech course. Every few years, I decide to reread it. I especially like how Carnegie expresses profound truths in simple but profound ways. A perfect example is his “Six Ways to Make People Like You”:

Principle 1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle 2. Smile.
Principle 3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. (NOTE:

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

The Art of Persuasion

On November 17, 2015 / Effectiveness

Benjamin Franklin understood that the art of persuasion is to induce the person to influence himself. He knew that persuading others to his point of view took patience and endurance. He assumed that people are often won over slowly, often indirectly. He believed that if you don’t win the bargain today, go after it again tomorrow—and the next day.

Here are some of Franklin’s strategies of persuasion and bargaining:

1. Be clear in your own mind about exactly what you are after.

2. Do your homework so that you are fully prepared to discuss every aspect and respond to every question and comment.

3. Be persistent. Don’t expect to “win” the first time. The first objective should be simply to … >>>

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Are You Creating Negativity?

On November 10, 2015 / Effectiveness

It’s so easy to embrace the negative.

In my seminars I pose the following situation: Suppose your supervisor asks you to stop by the office before leaving for the day.

I then ask people to respond by a raise of hands as to how many immediately engage in negative self-talk, e.g., “What did I do wrong?” The raised hands are unanimous.

But the negative assumption doesn’t have to be created. Consciously or not, this negative self-talk is our own imposition. Compartmentalize it. Your supervisor may have a positive communication for you. Since you don’t know what the conversation will be about, a wrong assumption may prompt undue stress.

As an elementary school principal, a middle school assistant principal, and a … >>>

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Dealing with Negativity

On October 29, 2015 / Effectiveness

What do you do when you have a negative experience?

Imagine the brain as a large ship. If a leak occurs in the floating vessel, it immediately compartmentalizes the area of the leak to prevent the leak from sinking the entire ship. This is necessary because it may take some time before the ship returns to port to repair the damages.

This concept of compartmentalization can help when you encounter a negative situation, stimulation, or urge. When you have a negative experience—be it with a significant other, a child, a parent, a member of the family, or a fellow worker—COMPARTMENTALIZE IT. Set it aside. Isolate it. Deal with it later when you are in port and in a better place … >>>

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What are Your Facial Expressions Saying?

On October 13, 2015 / Effectiveness

You will notice that when you smile at someone, the “imitation response” that neuroscientists have discovered prompts a natural tendency for the other person to smile back. This phenomenon indicates that the face is an enormously rich source of information about emotion. In fact, your face is not just a signal of what is going on in your mind; in a certain sense, it IS what is going on in your mind.

The expression on your face is sufficient to create a marked change in the autonomic nervous system. You can prove this to yourself by thinking of a sad thought. With that thought still in your mind, look up at the ceiling and smile. Then try to keep that … >>>

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Coercion and Feelings

On October 8, 2015 / Effectiveness, Relationships

Do you like when someone uses coercion or other approaches that prompt negative feelings in order to get you to do something? Of course not. So why, then, do so many adults use such approaches with young people?

The essence of the famed psychologist Jean Piaget’s hierarchy of cognitive development is that children’s brains develop at different ages but they—even infants—have similar feelings as adults. Young people experience negative feelings of pain, anger, and fear, all of which prompt resentment toward the person who prompted such feelings.

Sharing information and asking reflective questions, as outlined in the Discipline Without Stress methodology, do not carry the baggage of prompting negative emotions and resentments as coercion does.… >>>

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Mastering Change

On September 24, 2015 / Effectiveness, Learning

Implementing the three practices of positivity, choice, and reflection may feel awkward at first. This is natural. Unlike youth, who find little risk in attempting new activities, adults have established patterns and often feel anxious and uncomfortable when attempting something different from what they have already been doing. Realizing this at the outset will make it easier to attempt something new.

Doing something new or different requires making new habits, new neural connections. Practice makes permanent, and you will soon find that practicing the simple suggestions will become easier.

Think of a rocket or a space mission. Most of the energy, most of the thrust, has to do with breaking away—to surge past the gravitational pull.

Once you get past … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

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