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Advanced Concepts for Using the Raise Responsibility System

On April 2, 2015 / Discipline

Here are some advanced concepts for using the Raise Responsibility System (RRSystem) for discipline, for encouragement, and for promoting learning and academic achievement.

RRSystem for Discipline:
After teachers are well into the mode of ASKING students (instead of telling them) to identify a level of chosen behavior, asking for a response may seem coercive. At this point, teachers can then shift to SUGGESTING that students SIMPLY REFLECT on their chosen level.

Remember that the hierarchy is NOT an assessment tool for someone on the outside looking in. Also understand that no one can know the motivation of another person with complete accuracy, and since rewards can change motivation, rewarding Level D behavior can be counterproductive. The reward-giver will never know … >>>

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Using Perks as Motivators

On March 31, 2015 / Learning

Is there an appropriate time to use a “perk” as a motivator?

Certainly! But realize that the underlying drive is often not the perk but the competition. Just look at the Olympic Games. Competition and recognition are basic to humankind.

In my own case, I play the classic music of the Great Highland Bagpipe called piobaireachd (pronounced pibroch). Approximately eight percent of pipers play this type of music, and this traditional music never would have been passed on to today without competitions. The token ribbons won were nice, but it was the competitive spirit that had me devote hundreds of hours to practicing.

The mistake erupts when, by implication, we use rewards to promote learning. If a youngster is never … >>>

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Rewards and Behavior

On March 26, 2015 / Responsibility

Is public recognition for good behavior or attitudes a good practice?

Not in my opinion! I expect good behavior, and I don’t know how to assess one’s attitude aside from one’s behavior. As I have stated in many times in the past, the problem with rewards is that the reward-giver will never know in the future whether the person is acting on Level D because it is the right thing to do OR simply to get the reward.

REWARDING young people for EXPECTED STANDARDS OF APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR takes youth on a treacherous path—even though thousands of teachers and parents do it. This practice is highly counterproductive to their ultimate goals and is contributing to raising a generation of young people … >>>

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Dealing with Homework Resistance

On March 24, 2015 / Learning

Teachers often ask me how they can convince students to do their homework. Many reveal that they have several students who don’t care about homework and refuse to do it.

When it comes to homework, remember that you cannot force learning. In fact, there are thousands of capable, mature, responsible adults who rarely did their homework in school.

As I mention in my book Discipline Without Stress, I do not use the term, “homework.” I differentiate between work and effort. I use the term, “home assignment.” So the question teachers are really asking me is: “How can I get students to put forward the effort to do what I assign them to do?”

The answer starts with the teacher. … >>>

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Discipline and Decision Making

On March 19, 2015 / Responsibility

Just as young children don’t want to be carried while they are learning to walk, adolescents don’t want adults making decisions for them. In fact, the more the adult tries to exert control over the youth, the more the adolescent will resist, resulting in increased discipline challenges.

Remember, the only way a child can learn to walk is to practice walking. Similarly, the only way to help youth develop responsible behavior is to allow them to practice decision-making.

Each time you make a decision for another person, you deprive that person of an opportunity for maturity and responsibility.

Will you agree with every decision the youth makes? Probably not. But without the opportunity to practice making their own decisions, adolescents … >>>

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Motivating Students to Learn

On March 17, 2015 / Learning

If you want students to take an interest in what you’re teaching, begin each lesson by giving students a problem to solve. Grappling with a problem creates interest and curiosity, both of which are great motivators. Students can then share how they solved or attempted to solve the problem. After this discussion, use direct instruction followed by guided practice.

This approach follows the Japanese model of teaching. It’s in direct contrast to our usual approach to teaching, which is to give direct instruction followed by guided practice. The western approach does not consider motivation; it assumes students are motivated by a responsibility to learn what is taught. Of course, what is lacking here is the teacher’s responsibility to create an … >>>

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Handling Interruptions

On March 12, 2015 / Effectiveness, Relationships

All teachers and parents have had children interrupt them while they are talking or doing something important. How you handle the interruption will prompt either positive or negative feelings in the child.

If someone interrupts you while you are working on something and have that mental momentum where you are in a state of flow, take just a moment to write down some key words that later will bring you back to your thought.

If the interruption is at a lower priority than what you are engaged in, here is how to diplomatically deflect the interruption without hurting the other person’s feelings. It is a four-step process.

Start with “I WANT TO . . . .” (1st part)
“I want … >>>

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Make Youth Feel Important

On March 10, 2015 / Effectiveness

Admired people are adept at making others (even youth) feel important. When you interact with someone—whether for 30 seconds or for 30 minutes—the test is, “When the person walks away, does that person feel better or worse?”

If you see the person walking away feeling down or depressed, walk after the person and ask, “How about trying that again so that you feel better than when we started the conversation?”

The conclusion is inescapable. When we work with others who prompt positive feelings, our spirits are raised, and so is our motivation.… >>>

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Classroom Discipline with a Student

On March 7, 2015 / Discipline

I was asked by a third/fourth grade teacher, “What do you say to a student who thinks his answers are ALWAYS correct even when I prove he is wrong by giving examples of the correct math solutions and by other students demonstrating the correct answers by their methods?”

I responded:
ALWAYS keep in mind that the person who asks the question controls the situation.

The only way this child will change is by having him continually reflect. The skill required to resolve classroom discipline and learning challenges with a student is in asking questions that will have the student reflect.

So what reflective question(s) can you ask?
Here are a few that immediately come to my mind:
– How do … >>>

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Fundamental Truths about the Discipline Without Stress Approach

On March 5, 2015 / Discipline, Responsibility

Over the years I’ve done much research into discipline, classroom management, and the education field in general. As such, I know of no other discipline program that is proactive, creates a DESIRE for change, and places total responsibility on the other person—rather than on the teacher or parent.

There are a few underlying, fundamental truths to my approach.

• A person can be controlled, but only temporarily, and no one can control how another person thinks or WANTS to behave.

• Although you can influence people, you cannot change them. People change themselves.
The least effective approach to influence a person is by using coercion.

• Obedience does not create desire.

• Two requirements are necessary for long-term change: (a) … >>>

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Change Behavior by Changing Perceptions

On March 3, 2015 / Responsibility

The opening paragraph of my book, Discipline Without Stress, deals with mindsets. It sets the stage for the entire book because my purpose is to influence young people to have mindsets where they WANT to be responsible and WANT to learn.

The following exercise (shared with me by Jack Canfield– coauthor with Mark Victor Hansen of The Aladdin Factor and the Chicken Soup series) gives students an experience of the power of imagery for both behavior and learning.

Students will need as much room as they would have in an aerobics class. Divide the class in two groups, A and B.

Say the following to group A:
I want you to close your eyes and imagine in your mind … >>>

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Say “No” Positively

On February 26, 2015 / Relationships

In my books, speeches, and professional work, I always stress the importance of positivity. But sometimes you simply have to tell people “No,” even though it’s not a positive word. So how can you say “No” without actually saying “No”? Here’s a simple four-step process:

1. Acknowledge the importance of the request.
“I understand why that’s important to you.”

2. Inform the person that you have a problem with it.
“But I have a problem with it.”

3. Describe the problem as you see it.
“Your doing that would mean it would put a burden on everyone else.”

4. Elicit from the person something else.
“Let’s think of something that would be fair to everyone.”

By doing this, you’re saying … >>>

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The Best Discipline Phrase

On February 19, 2015 / Discipline

When it comes to discipline, many teachers (and parents) believe that if they spell out consequences before the child misbehaves, then there will be no need for discipline later. For example, a teacher may say, “If you don’t finish your work, then you can’t go out for recess” or “If you talk during the lesson, then you’ll have extra homework questions.” These “if/then” consequence statements do little to curb behavior problems.

A better approach is to walk over to the misbehaving student and say, “Don’t worry what will happen later. We’ll talk about it after class.”

When it comes to changing behavior, not knowing what will happen is far more effective than knowing what will happen. Young people (really, most … >>>

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3 Questions to Ask All Youth

On February 17, 2015 / Discipline, Effectiveness

You don’t necessarily like someone because who the person is; you like the person because of the person’s effect on you. What kind of effect are you having on the children in your life?

Following are three questions that any parent can ask their children on a regular basis (or any teacher can ask students in a class meeting).

1. What did you learn this week that’s valuable enough for a lifetime? (Remember: we find what we look for.)

2. Do you have an issue, problem, or a concern you would like to discuss?

3. What do you feel good about or proud of that you’ve done this week?

(Note: If you are a parent or teacher asking a BOY, … >>>

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Discipline and “Hard Students”

On February 12, 2015 / Discipline

Teachers often ask me, “How do you discipline ‘hard students’?” They are usually referring to the tough, street-wise kids who seem to have a chip on their shoulder. While people often think these youngsters are only found in the inner city, the fact is that such students are in small towns too.

When working with “hard kids,” it’s important to resist using any coercion with them. Imposed discipline, threats, and/or rewards are completely useless with these students (even more so than typical kids). Instead, speak to them in positive and empowering ways. Let them know that you cannot and will not even try to make them learn—that learning or not learning is their choice. Most important, continually prompt self-reflective questions, … >>>

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The Facts about Student Motivation

On February 10, 2015 / Learning, Responsibility

Teachers often tell me, “My students have no motivation!”

When I hear this, I suggest to the teacher that every student attending school is motivated; after all, without motivation, one would not get out of bed. Whether the motivation is prompted by a situation, a stimulus, an impulse, or an urge, the person arising from bed is motivated.

If we assume that simply by being in school there is some degree of motivation in the student, the question then has to do with the type of motivation we are using. W. Edwards Deming—who showed the manufacturing world how to improve quality while simultaneously lowering costs through collaboration and empowerment—stated that problems are more with the system than with the individual. … >>>

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Self-Reflection and Effectiveness

On February 5, 2015 / Effectiveness

A school principal contacted me for advice. He was trying to put together a way for the teachers at his school to reflect on their year and to self-evaluate. He wanted it to be something that was do-able, that wouldn’t feel overwhelming in its scope or the time it would take for them to complete, and that would feel meaningful and help guide their work for next year.

My suggestion was this: Pose the following question to your teachers. “If I were a student, would I want me as a teacher? If yes, list the reasons. If no, list the reasons.

Of course, this question isn’t just for teachers. You can reframe it for any situation or relationship, as in:… >>>

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