Character can be measured by what we do when we are sure no one else is watching. This education and learning book gives specific suggestions to anyone interested in the growth of young people in order to help ensure that they develop responsible character and behavior.
—Margaret Connery, Corporate Trainer and Former Teacher
More about character education and how to promote responsibility is at the character education linkat MarvinMarshall.com.… >>>
READ MORE >>> →Learning a procedure to respond appropriately to impulses is described on the link at http://marvinmarshall.com/impulsemanagement.html.
Level C for COOPERATION is in green, as is Level D. Although the goal for young people is to strive for level D motivation, either of these two levels is acceptable.
Level C for CONFORMITY is in YELLOW to remind people to reflect—to be cautious (as in a yellow traffic signal)—before engaging in an activity suggested by a peer. This is especially the case when the suggestion will lead to inappropriate or irresponsible behavior.
Having a visible reminder, as the cards, assists young people to make responsible choices. The reverse of the cards has the visual for an impulse control technique.… >>>
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION:
Some of my youngsters and their parents were struggling with the word, "anarchy." Could I use a short phrase beginning with "absence of…." order? responsible behavior? Perhaps you could suggest a word/words that would fit and my young students could connect to anarchy until they develop a more clear understanding of its definition.
RESPONSE:
Many share some reluctance to using terms like "anarchy" and "democracy" to describe the levels to young children.
At first, I shared that reluctance.
These terms seem so advanced, especially for youngsters in kindergarten and preschool. But the only reason they seem advanced is because we ourselves were so much older when we first came across these words.
It may be helpful to remember that … >>>
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION:
My youngest son has been particularly prickly recently. Even when I try to express my suggestions in a positive way, he interprets it as criticism. When he bridled at some comments I made about interrupting people, he really became upset.
Any suggestions?
RESPONSE:
Being positive is the first principle to practice. Now use the second, the empowerment of choice and the third, reflection. Ask him a reflective question where the options are stated. For example, ask him if he prefers to go on as he is doing, having people irritated with him, or if he prefers finding out how he can improve his social skills.
Then discuss some procedures and impulse control strategies that will help him.
… >>>
We’re all familiar with the Nike slogan, “Just do it.” If we apply this motto/suggestion/saying to anything that can be accomplished in two minutes or less, we will be using the “Two-Minute Rule.”
Here is how it works. If you decide that an action can be accomplished in two minutes or less—do it!––then and there, even if it is a low priority item.
The reason that this approach increases effectiveness is rather simple. If it takes two minutes or less to do something that you intend to do anyway, it will take you longer to stack and track, pull it back, and look at it again—than it would be to finish it the first time you encounter it.
I think … >>>
READ MORE >>> →I often say in my seminars that if you believe a youngster is an adult, then punish the youngster as you would an adult. However, if you believe that young people are not yet adults and you want to prevent their becoming incarcerated with the other 2,0000,000 imprisoned people in this country, then punishment may not be the most effective approach.
I was reminded of this when I read that 82-year-old Eugene Markovitz passed away from pneumonia. How he handled four youths after punishable behavior inspired a 1994 CBS television movie, “The Writing on the Wall,” starring Hal Landon.
The actual incident occurred on Halloween night in 1988 and attracted national media attention. As a Halloween prank, four youths struck … >>>
READ MORE >>> →The following communication, written by Mary Lou Cebula, an elementary school principal in Warren Township, New Jersey was forwarded to me. She has given me permission to share it.
A mother called me the other day to tell me Dr. Marshall’s levels of development are working even at home. Her first grade son is very tired at the end of each day. On the previous evening he had soccer practice after school and about 6:30 p.m. she was trying to get him to take a bath. He was lying on the bathroom floor naked and crying, “I am not going to take a bath and I am not getting my picture taken!” (The next day was picture day.) His … >>>
READ MORE >>> →“If every teacher, at the beginning of the school year, would share this book with students for just 10 minutes a day, by October teaching and learning problems would be reduced to a minuscule portion of the day.”
Linda McKay, Director, CHARACTERplus
Cooperating School Districts, St. Louis, MO
A descriptive table of contents, three selected sections, and additional items of interest are posted at the site indicated at the “book” link above.
Using standardized tests to measure educational progress is contrary to the purpose of such tests.
Educational leaders have been and are still basing their decisions about learning on the use of such tests, and it is having disastrous results.
This is exemplified by third graders, especially conscientious ones, having anxiety attacks and by the surge of high school students giving up and just dropping out of school.
In the future, people will look back and ask, “How could we have been so foolish as to allow this to occur?” How could we justify using standardized tests (where half the test takers automatically fall below 50%) as an accountability instrument? How did we justify determining people’s successes or failures solely on … >>>
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION:
I am a kindergarten teacher who highly recommends your book whenever the subject of discipline arises. Today I told one of my students who hit another child, “I want you to stay in our classroom, but if you act on Level B again, you are telling me that you want to keep on making your own rules for the class. We can’t accept that, so you may stay in the classroom only if your behavior is at Level C or D.”
When he began to harass another child, I made it a point to remain matter-of-fact, and said to him, “You have again decided to make your own rules for the class, so you have chosen to spend time … >>>
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION:
The school I work in is very entrenched in the idea that discipline equals punishment.
The students buy into this idea in that they seem to depend on punitive reactions from their teachers/parents. How does one help the child to move from being punishment-minded to being self-motivated?
RESPONSE:
Punishment—which is very often confused with discipline—operates on the theory that young people must be hurt to learn, that they must be harmed to instruct.
Can you recall the last time you felt bad and did something good? People do not think positively with negative feelings.
Punishments kill the very thing we are attempting to do—change behavior into something that is positive and socially appropriate.
If your school believes that YOUNG people ARE NOT YET ADULTS, then their use … >>>
READ MORE >>> →"Give and you shall receive." We know this, but how often do we practice it?
At the root of so many relationship problems is that people stop giving to each other—or they give the wrong things.
This is very common in parent-child relationships. parents are more likely to give children" things" rather than experiences. Because young people WANT "things," parents mistakenly believe that is what their children NEED.
Years ago, Charles Frances Adams (son of President John Quincy Adams, grandson of President John Adams, and President Abraham Lincoln's minister to England) wrote in his diary one day, "Took my boy fishing today. A wasted day." His son, Brook Adams, wrote in his diary the same day, "Went fishing today with my father. Greatest day of my life."
Any good relationship, whether … >>>
READ MORE >>> →Cognition can not be separated from emotion.
What we think precedes what we feel, and often what we think triggers our emotions.
Thinking in terms of “right” or “wrong” is especially dangerous because people become emotionally involved with these concepts.
It is more helpful to think in terms of “more effective” or “less effective.” Think where you want to go and then ask yourself, “Is this going to get me there?”… >>>
READ MORE >>> →The Golden Rules for Living (author unknown) were shared with me.
I share them with you:
1. If you open it, close it.
2. If you break it, admit it.
3. If you borrow it, return it.
4. If you move it, put it back.
5. If you unlock it, lock it up.
6. If you turn it on, turn it off.
7. If you make a mess, clean it up.
8. If you value it, take care of it.
9. If you cannot fix it, call someone who can.
10. If it is not yours, get permission to use it.
11. If you do not know how to use it, leave it alone—or ask.
12. If it is none … >>>
READ MORE >>> →Business is a a poor model for learning.
Business is competitive and competition improves performance in athletics, music competitions, and other activities where people are motivated to improve and win. However, competition between individuals is devastating for improving learning.
Government, business, and educational leaders have based their decisions about learning on this faulty reasoning, which already is having disastrous results as exemplified by young conscientious students having anxiety attacks and the surge of high school students giving up and just dropping out of school.
Competition improves performance but is devastating to those who are never in the winner’s circle.
Collaboration—not competition—improves learning.
People will look back twenty years from now (if not sooner) and ask, “How could we have been … >>>
READ MORE >>> →QUESTIONS:
Here are a few situations most likely to occur in the classroom. They are all social situations. How do you respond using the Raise Responsibility System?
1. A student tells the teacher another student pulled her hair and won’t stop. She asked the person to stop and she won’t.
2. A boy hits a girl. When asked about the situation the boy says, “She hit me first.” (Usually it’s a tap on the shoulder interpreted as a “hit”)
3. A students says another student keeps calling her names likes “crybaby”.
RESPONSE:
The foundation of the Raise Responsibility System is teaching the Levels of Development—which does a number of things, but perhaps the most significant is that … >>>
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION:
I have 2 sons, 13 and 15. They fight all the time! It’s not just a punch here, and a shove there; it escalates to a down and out brawl. My older son tells me I favor the younger. I try to be fair, but my older son just likes to “pick, pick, pick” at the younger one, and my younger son has a quick fire temper. He just can’t ignore the “picking.” He retaliates.
When they both tell me how a fight started, they each have a different story. Whom do I believe?
How can I stop the fighting, and how can I make them respect me again?
The stress of these daily fights is affecting my health. … >>>
READ MORE >>> →I believe most theories about the stress and strain of adolescence have focused incorrectly on such factors as physical changes, emerging sexuality, new social demands, struggles between being a child and an adult, and other such reasons.
This period is difficult for both youth and parents largely because adolescents become so independent of parents that controlling them is difficult. Attempts at continual control often lead to a reluctance to do what the parent wishes, which in turn leads to a power struggle, resulting in even more reluctance, resentment, and rebellion.
parents assume that adolescent rebellion and hostility are an inevitable function of this stage of development. However, I believe the real reason is that these young people become more able to resist parental power. Many adolescents behave as they do because … >>>
READ MORE >>> →
