Blog

I had the pleasure of presenting to teachers of a religious school at the denomination's campgrounds.

Between my Sunday evening keynote and my Monday afternoon seminar to the teachers, I invested some time in self-reflection.

Self-reflection focuses on looking inward—controlling passions, redirecting impulses, restraining oneself from temptation, monitoring one’s ego, assessing the balance between the amount of time devoted to entertainment and time devoted to learning, and other such things that will enable the individual to develop good character traits and become a good, contributing member of society.

Many of the early Americans—George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and of course Benjamin Franklin, to name but few—focused on what they could and would do to become better people.

Striving to improve oneself … >>>

Laura Hillenbrand’s award-winning book, “Seabiscuit: An American Legend,” was first made into a PBS documentary and then into a motion picture. The book has been referred to as the best sports book ever written.

Seabiscuit—a descendant of the mighty Man o’ War—was an undersized, crooked-legged racehorse but was the subject of the most newspaper column inches in 1938. The horse was nothing short of a cultural icon in America.

In a test race, Seabiscuit once ran a quarter of a mile in an unheard of 22-2/5 seconds. It may have been the fastest quarter mile ever run by a yearling. However, the horse was rather lazy—really lazy—so the trainer was confronted with a behavioral problem.

When the rider asked him … >>>

QUESTION:

The only part about the Hierarchy of Social Development that confuses me is that if Level C is a level of caution, then how can we label it as acceptable?–even though I can see that in the hierarchy it is implicit that it is positive.

I have a hard time trying to explain to kids that this level is acceptable…. BUT WATCH OUT…. it might not be! This is what I'm not sure how to handle. I know it's best if the hierarchy is simple and easy to understand because then using it is straight forward, but since this Level C has the negative aspect as well as the positive one it seems important to help kids understand.

RESPONSE:

Use the analogy of a TRAFFIC SIGNAL … >>>

QUESTION:

I have really enjoyed your book, “Discipline Without Stress, Punishment or Rewards,” and I have partially implemented it. However, I have a question. I had so many students who lied this year. What do you do in situations where the child refuses to admit what he did?

RESPONSE:

They lied to protect/defend themselves. A foundational characteristic of the Raise Responsibility System is that the deed is separated from the doer, the act from the actor, a good person from an inappropriate or wrong action. Therefore, reference is NOT made to the behavior. Reference is made to the LEVEL of behavior. Referring to a level is “outside” of oneself, thereby negating a feeling or “need” to self-defend.

QUESTION:

I am starting to present the social development hierarchy to my students. I have used “behavior plans” in the past, but they have only promoted “sneaky” behaviors. I hope to instill “proper” behavior by the students. They are reluctant thus far. Are there any pointers to help the reluctant student?