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An Interesting Question

On November 18, 2009   /   Responsibility  


Most people plan for everything in their lives–except their
lives.
As George Burns (who passed on at 99) oftentimes said, “If I had
known I would live so long, I would have taken better care of
myself.”
These thoughts were prompted by a family gathering at our home
the second week of last month: the celebration of my
mother-in-law’s 100th birthday.
A few months ago, the University of Southern California chapter
of Phi Delta Kappa International (my home chapter) honored Emory
Stoops, former national president and its first international
president on the 100th anniversary of his birth. (Phi Delta Kappa
is an educational association devoted to advancing research,
service, and leadership in education. It publishes perhaps the
most respected journal
… >>> READ MORE >>> →
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Go for the Gold

On November 14, 2009   /   Parenting  

Andrew Carnegie, the first great industrialist in America, once was observed as having 43 millionaires working for him. A reporter asked him how he had managed to hire so many millionaires. Carnegie answered that none of them were millionaires when he hired them.

The reporter inquired, “Then what did you do to develop them so that they became
millionaires? "

“You develop people the same way you mine gold,” Carnegie explained. “You go into a gold mine and you expect to remove tons of dirt to find an ounce of gold. But you don’t go into the mine looking for the dirt; you go in there looking for the gold.”

—page 26 from the book, parenting Without Stress.… >>>

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50% Discount on Parenting Book

On November 12, 2009   /   Parenting  

UNTIL December 31, to order the book described at  parenting Without Stress.org AND receive a special 50% pre-publication discount ($14.99) on the 280-page $29.97 laminated hardbound book, click on the "ORDER NOW" link.

You will have an opportunity to receive the discount for single or multiple copies.
Books will be delivered shortly after the first of the year.… >>>

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Eliciting and Impulse Control

On October 14, 2009   /   Discipline  

QUESTION:

I have your book, and I’m trying to find the best way to approach students who have physically harmed another. An example: One little girl pinched a boy because she thought he was going to pull some books down on her. He almost pulled the books on me.

The three of us discussed the incident and the two students seemed satisfied. I asked the pinched child what he thought should happen and the pinching child apologized. Was there another way for me to approach the situation?

RESPONSE:

Excellent! You ELICITED from the child, rather than imposed something.

The next step is to establish some procedure. Let’s assume the student has the urge to do it again. Discuss what … >>>

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Losing an Opportunity

On October 12, 2009   /   Responsibility  

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Each time you coerce someone into doing something by using your power of authority, you deprive that person of an opportunity to become more responsible.

Learn a more effective approach at MarvinMarshall.com.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++… >>>

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Dealing with ADD, ADHD, and ODD

On October 5, 2009   /   Discipline, Special Challenges  

QUESTION:

I was contacted by a reporter from CBS News who was inquiring about the reported increase in oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) ) of students in a major eastern coast city.

The reporter had heard that teachers are having a frustrating time dealing with students who have ADD, ADHD, and now ODD. How can teachers teach, prepare students for high stakes testing, and individualize programs for all their “disordered” students?

RESPONSE:

I informed her that the designation of ODD at one time was referred to as “passive-aggressive” behavior but had been re-designated by the American Psychiatric Association in 1994. In that year, the association published their “DIAGNOSTIC AND STATISTICAL MANUAL OF MENTAL DISORDERS – FOURTH EDITION (DSM-IV). This is the … >>>

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7 Deadly Habits

On October 1, 2009   /   Relationships  

Dr. William Glasser, the originator of “Reality Therapy” and “Choice Theory,” believes that attempts to change others by using “external control psychology” are doomed to fail.

He refers to such “external approaches” as the “seven deadly habits.” He lists them as: criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and rewarding to control.

To prove his point, just respond to the following:

How do you feel when someone criticizes you?

How do you feel when someone blames you?

How do you feel when someone complains to you?

How do you feel when someone nags you?

How do you feel when someone threatens to do something to you?

How do you feel when someone punishes you?

How do you feel when someone offers … >>>

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Question Framing and Mindsets

On September 24, 2009   /   Responsibility  

Question-framing mobilizes your perceptions.

For example, if  you decide that you are going to buy a four-wheel drive vehicle, you probably ask the question, “Which one should I get?” You can be sure that the next time you are on the road, you will notice Jeeps, Explorers, and Range Rovers in record numbers. You will also start to see articles in the paper and advertisements featuring these types of vehicles, and you may even discover that some of your friends and acquaintances own one.

All these would have gone unnoticed if you hadn’t set your mind on four wheel drives.

The phenomenon of seeing what we expect or want to see is called mindset or mental set.

Our mental set … >>>

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Improving Classroom Discipline

On September 22, 2009   /   Responsibility  

"We have tried dozens of strategies to improve classroom discipline, all with limited or no success until we tried Dr. Marshall's program. I believe his program, "Discipline without Stress, Punishments, or Rewards," is the best hope public schools have in dealing with discipline issues. We are planning to implement his strategies in all eighteen of our schools."

Robert E. Beck, Ed.D., Associate Superintendent
Richmond County Schools, Hamlet, NC

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About the Book DISCIPLINE WITHOUT STRESS PUNISHMENTS OR REWARDS
How Teachers and parents Promote Responsibility & Learning

A descriptive table of contents describing the approach, three selected sections, and additional items of interest are posted at: DisciplineWithoutStress.com
============================================================

More information is available at www.marvinmarshall.com… >>>

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Handling Noises Continued

On September 18, 2009   /   Effectiveness  

Schools can increase their effectiveness by holding discussions with the staff and being proactive by setting up a system to use school-wide. The examples in the previous post about setting up a communication system to engender expectations is a very effective approach. Eliciting samples of the levels from students and then  practicing them ensures greater effectiveness.

For eliminating noise when in the hallways, set up the procedure by having students line up and then elicit a course of action in case someone were to talk during the “no talking in the hallway” on the way to the cafeteria.

The importance of ELICITING a “consequence” ahead of time cannot be over emphasized. When students have set up the procedures and then … >>>

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Noise Levels

On September 15, 2009   /   Discipline  

QUESTION:

How do we reduce noise levels, especially in the hallways and in the cafeteria?

RESPONSES:
Some are from the mailring. Other suggestions can be seen at Kerry’s posts.

1)
When I taught this (hierarchy below) to the children, I asked them what they knew about using different voices. I told them I was thinking of giving numbers to noise levels and wrote the level numbers on the board. I then asked them what they thought each level might sound like, starting with zero. THEY PROVIDED THE DEFINITIONS AND EXAMPLES OF HOW EACH LEVEL SOUNDS.

Level zero – Silence

Level 1 – Whispering
(Only the person you are whispering to should hear you.)

Level 2 – Speaking voice… >>>

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Homework Suggestions

On September 14, 2009   /   Learning  

QUESTION:

How do you encourage kids to do homework?

I feel like I’m constantly chasing after students to do it. I find that it’s a reflection of my teaching that they’re not putting effort into it.

RESPONSE:

In order to differentiate between EFFORT in EMPLOYMENT and EFFORT in LEARNING, I avoid the use of the word, “work.” Rather than referring to home WORK, I refer to “home assignments.”

The only reflection on your teaching should be to ask yourself whether or not the assignments are relevant, meaningful, and/or useful.

Following are some suggestions:

1. Give choices – Give more than one option for the assignments and have students choose their preference.

2. Explain that there is not enough time to … >>>

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Powerful Words

On September 10, 2009   /   Relationships  

I have heard it said that the three most powerful words are, “I am sorry.”

Far more powerful are the words, “I love you” or “Please forgive me.”

But the the “golden question” will improve relationships even more:
“What do you suggest?”… >>>

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Emotional Challenges

On September 9, 2009   /   Effectiveness  

There are emotional challenges that all of us have. One of them pertains to worrying about the future. Worry is fear of the unknown. It is negative self-talk. If you reflect on the things that you have worried about, you will conclude that they rarely occurred in reality.

As with worry, some people live with past failures, with past hurts, and thereby bring past negative emotions into the present.

One of the keys to happiness is to practice thinking in the present—rather than dwelling on the worry of the future or negativity of the past.

Controlling our thoughts to stay in the present by redirecting negative thoughts into positive ones is a habit which can be developed. I think of … >>>

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A Letter to a Mother

On September 8, 2009   /   Discipline  

A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with John and he is so nice even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion, Mom. I’m pregnant and John … >>>

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Rewarding Expected Behavior

On September 7, 2009   /   Responsibility  

The following is from my soon to be released book, "parenting withoiut Stress: How to Raise Responsible Kids While Keeping a Life of Your Own."

Punishments and rewards are two sides of the same motivational coin. Rewards ask, “What do they want me to do, and what will I get for doing it?”  Punishments ask, “What do they want me to do, and what happens to me if I don’t?” In both cases, the attempt is made to manipulate behavior by doing things to, rather than with, young people. At best, such approaches bring only temporary compliance. Most importantly, the foundations of both are based on consequences. Carrots are no more effective than sticks for helping … >>>

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About the Book

On September 4, 2009   /   Discipline  

About the Book
"DISCIPLINE WITHOUT STRESS® PUNISHMENTS OR REWARDS
How Teachers and parents Promote Responsibility & Learning"
============================================================

You can view parts of "DISCIPLINE WITHOUT STRESS® PUNISHMENTS or REWARDS – HOW TEACHERS and parentS PROMOTE RESPONSIBILITY and LEARNING online at Amazon's "Search Inside."

Here is how to do it: On Amazon's  home page, in the SEARCH box on the left side, ENTER: Marvin Marshall. Click on "Go."

When the book appears, click on either the book cover or the title. When the book is in view, click on "SEARCH INSIDE."

You can navigate these pages by using the ARROWS in the MIDDLE of each page—or by using the "Previous Page" or "Next Page" links on the … >>>

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