Responsibility

Give Students the Opportunity to be Responsible

On April 14, 2015   /   Responsibility  

A teacher recounted one of her tough discipline experiences: She asked a misbehaving student (middle school) on which level he was choosing to behave, and he answered, “On a lower level.” The student did this a few more times, so the teacher gave him the reflection form. But even after filling it out, the student still operated at a low level. The teacher, extremely frustrated at this point, didn’t know what to do except give the student a detention (imposed discipline). She came to me wondering what she should do next time this occurred. Following is my reply.

Think “Elicit” rather than “Impose.”

After the student has acknowledged lower level behavior and continues to act on level B, ask the … >>>

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Rewards and Behavior

On March 26, 2015   /   Responsibility  

Is public recognition for good behavior or attitudes a good practice?

Not in my opinion! I expect good behavior, and I don’t know how to assess one’s attitude aside from one’s behavior. As I have stated in many times in the past, the problem with rewards is that the reward-giver will never know in the future whether the person is acting on Level D because it is the right thing to do OR simply to get the reward.

REWARDING young people for EXPECTED STANDARDS OF APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR takes youth on a treacherous path—even though thousands of teachers and parents do it. This practice is highly counterproductive to their ultimate goals and is contributing to raising a generation of young people … >>>

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Discipline and Decision Making

On March 19, 2015   /   Responsibility  

Just as young children don’t want to be carried while they are learning to walk, adolescents don’t want adults making decisions for them. In fact, the more the adult tries to exert control over the youth, the more the adolescent will resist, resulting in increased discipline challenges.

Remember, the only way a child can learn to walk is to practice walking. Similarly, the only way to help youth develop responsible behavior is to allow them to practice decision-making.

Each time you make a decision for another person, you deprive that person of an opportunity for maturity and responsibility.

Will you agree with every decision the youth makes? Probably not. But without the opportunity to practice making their own decisions, adolescents … >>>

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Fundamental Truths about the Discipline Without Stress Approach

On March 5, 2015   /   Discipline, Responsibility  

Over the years I’ve done much research into discipline, classroom management, and the education field in general. As such, I know of no other discipline program that is proactive, creates a DESIRE for change, and places total responsibility on the other person—rather than on the teacher or parent.

There are a few underlying, fundamental truths to my approach.

• A person can be controlled, but only temporarily, and no one can control how another person thinks or WANTS to behave.

• Although you can influence people, you cannot change them. People change themselves.
The least effective approach to influence a person is by using coercion.

• Obedience does not create desire.

• Two requirements are necessary for long-term change: (a) … >>>

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Change Behavior by Changing Perceptions

On March 3, 2015   /   Responsibility  

The opening paragraph of my book, Discipline Without Stress, deals with mindsets. It sets the stage for the entire book because my purpose is to influence young people to have mindsets where they WANT to be responsible and WANT to learn.

The following exercise (shared with me by Jack Canfield– coauthor with Mark Victor Hansen of The Aladdin Factor and the Chicken Soup series) gives students an experience of the power of imagery for both behavior and learning.

Students will need as much room as they would have in an aerobics class. Divide the class in two groups, A and B.

Say the following to group A:
I want you to close your eyes and imagine in your mind … >>>

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Why Discipline is Different Today

On February 24, 2015   /   Discipline, Responsibility  

Manufacturing—building tangibles—led and fed the economies in the 19th and 20th centuries. There were a few originators, but most people were followers. Obedience, implementation of rules, and top-down management were the orders of the day.

What drives our 21st century? The creation and distribution of information. Rather than compliance, initiative is required.

People rarely will work for one company all their lives. Increasingly, many people are now working as independent contractors instead of working for others. The number of individual entrepreneurs is continually growing. People in their twenties are planning their retirements forty years in advance because they no longer believe that traditional retirements will suffice in their older years. The society of the 21st century requires initiative—not merely following … >>>

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The Facts about Student Motivation

On February 10, 2015   /   Learning, Responsibility  

Teachers often tell me, “My students have no motivation!”

When I hear this, I suggest to the teacher that every student attending school is motivated; after all, without motivation, one would not get out of bed. Whether the motivation is prompted by a situation, a stimulus, an impulse, or an urge, the person arising from bed is motivated.

If we assume that simply by being in school there is some degree of motivation in the student, the question then has to do with the type of motivation we are using. W. Edwards Deming—who showed the manufacturing world how to improve quality while simultaneously lowering costs through collaboration and empowerment—stated that problems are more with the system than with the individual. … >>>

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The Best Way to Change Behavior

On February 3, 2015   /   Responsibility  

How many times have you said to a misbehaving student or child, “Why did you do that?” You may have even put the child in a time-out so they could think about their answer. While knowing the cause of a behavior may be interesting, in reality it has little to do with changing behavior to become more responsible.

All people—even children—know when they act inappropriately, but KNOWING the motivation does not stop behavior, nor does it lead to a change in future behavior. This realization is in direct opposition to many discipline approaches aimed at determining the cause of a behavior—with the assumption that knowing the cause is necessary to change the behavior. Therefore, relying on discipline techniques that force … >>>

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Student Motivation and Discipline

On January 27, 2015   /   Discipline, Responsibility  

No matter how long you’ve been teaching, you simply cannot judge a student’s motivation with complete accuracy. Within a classroom, where all the children look as if they are doing the same thing, perhaps cooperating with the teacher and quietly doing their assignments, some will be operating on Level C and some will be operating on Level D (for details of the four Levels of Social Development, click here). While you may have few discipline challenges in such a classroom, you’ll never know for sure whether these children are internally or externally motivated.

A person’s motivation can only be accurately determined by that person himself/herself. That is why it’s important for teachers to ask questions that promote self-reflection in … >>>

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Discipline and the Raise Responsibility System

On January 22, 2015   /   Discipline, Responsibility  

In the Raise Responsibility System, we speak of Levels of Behavior, with Levels C and D being the two highest. The main difference between the two lies in the difference in motivation. While an action at Level C and D can look identical, it is the difference in the MOTIVATION that identifies one person’s action as being at Level C and another person’s as being at Level D. When your students are acting at either level, discipline issues are greatly diminished.

Here is an example to clarify the difference in the two levels:

Students at Level C do home assignments, but only after being reminded by a parent. At Level D, students complete home assignments simply because they know that … >>>

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Responsibility and Discipline

On January 6, 2015   /   Relationships, Responsibility  

At the heart of the concept of responsibility is the beautiful idea that it is about “response” (RESPONS-ability), which means that responsibility always has to do with relationships. In other words, responsibility is inherently mutual. You simply cannot use imposed discipline to make someone act responsibly.

So often we treat and confuse responsibility with obedience, as if responsibility can be imposed. Just as imposed discipline does not work, neither does imposed responsibility. There is a failure in the structure of imposition because it lacks mutuality. Although we think we give responsibility, responsibility must be TAKEN if it is to be implemented—hence its mutuality.

Responsibility has a counterpart: accountability. One reason that people resist imposed accountability is that the people at … >>>

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Developing Effectiveness in Students

On December 18, 2014   /   Effectiveness, Responsibility  

When I present to a school or school district, or when my In-House Seminar Package is purchased, the client receives a 100-page Resource Guide. In it, I share one of my favorite stories. I share it with you here.

Nicolo Paganini (1782-1840) is still considered one of the greatest violinists of all time. One day, as he was about to perform before a sold-out house, he walked out on stage to a huge ovation but felt that something was terribly wrong.

Suddenly he realized that he had someone else’s violin in his hand. Horrified, but knowing that his only prudent choice was to begin, he started playing.

That day he gave the performance of his life.

After the concert, Paganini … >>>

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Control versus Discipline

On December 16, 2014   /   Discipline, Responsibility  

If you want to become a more effective teacher, then give up the need to control students. In other words, hand over to the students the responsibility of LEARNING TO CONTROL THEMSELVES. This is important for every child but especially important for those children who have repeated discipline challenges.

The key is to use the Raise Responsibility hierarchy ALL the time so that it isn’t associated with corrective discipline. In fact, the more you use the hierarchy, the more that students will become open to using the understandings of the hierarchy to help themselves make better choices. The more you discuss the hierarchy in a variety of situations, the more it seems to become a natural tool that children begin … >>>

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Discipline versus Obedience

On December 11, 2014   /   Discipline, Responsibility  

Sometimes teachers contact me explaining that they have one student (or more) who will not respond to the Raise Responsibility System (which is detailed in the Discipline Without Stress book) and who often have repeated discipline challenges They wonder if there is something different they should do to encourage that student to understand the system or if they need to change how they implement the strategies in the Discipline Without Stress methodology.

I believe the answer to this dilemma is very much tied to expectations about what it means to have a child “respond” to the Raise Responsibility System. I notice that sometimes when people say they are having difficulty in getting certain kids “to respond,” what they mean is … >>>

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The Discipline of Persistence

On November 20, 2014   /   Effectiveness, Responsibility  

One of the most important things we can teach children is that effective people persist. They don’t give up easily. In fact, a major quality that classifies people as gifted is that they stick to a task.

What is it that allows a person to persevere? According to Art Costa (http://www.habits-of-mind.net), they have a repertoire. These people have many different ways to solve a problem.

Why is this important? Because if you have only one way to solve a problem, and if you try it and it doesn’t work, you will have a tendency to give up.

But people who persist will try one plan, and if that approach doesn’t work, they go to another plan. If that one doesn’t … >>>

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How to Live Responsibly

On November 4, 2014   /   Responsibility  

The Golden Rules for Living (author unknown) were shared with me. I share them with you.

1. If you open it, close it.
2. If you break it, admit it.
3. If you borrow it, return it.
4. If you move it, put it back.
5. If you unlock it, lock it up.
6. If you turn it on, turn it off.
7. If you make a mess, clean it up.
8. If you value it, take care of it.
9. If you cannot fix it, call someone who can.
10. If it is not yours, get permission to use it.
11. If you do not know how to use it, leave it alone—or ask.
12. If it is none … >>>

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William Glasser’s Biography

On October 30, 2014   /   Learning, Parenting, Relationships, Responsibility  

A fascinating biography about William Glasser has recently been published. William Glasser, M.D. was a renowned psychiatrist and author of many books including Schools without Failure, Choice Theory, and Reality Therapy.

Dr. Glasser made major contributions to the fields of therapy, mental health, and education. His particular contribution to teaching were classroom meetings and having young people responsible for their behavior.

Here are some of the quotes from Dr. Jim Roy’s book that you can find on my website:

“Not teaching students how to function is like asking them to play a game without teaching them the rules.” 

“Unless we can get rid of coercion we will never make even a dent in the problems of education. “

Discipline Without … >>>

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Develop the Discipline of Self-Reflection

On October 30, 2014   /   Effectiveness, Responsibility  

Children learn by example. What they see you do on a daily basis is what they will do in life as well. Therefore, in order to promote responsibility in youth, all adults need to develop the discipline of self-reflection.

Self-reflection focuses on looking inward—how to control passions, redirect impulses, restrain oneself from temptation, monitor one’s ego, assess the balance between the amount of time devoted to entertainment and time devoted to learning, and such things as what the individual needs to do in order to develop good character traits and become a good, contributing member of society. Many of the early Americans—George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and of course Benjamin Franklin, to name but few—focused on what they could and would … >>>

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