Posts Tagged positivity

An Exercise of Positivity

On April 28, 2016 / Discipline Help

Here is a very effective approach for helping in discipline problems and in other situations.

Do this exercise: Smile for 60 seconds straight.

Just sit there and smile. Don’t do anything else.

Do you immediately sense a positive physical feeling inside you the very second you start to smile? Another thing you may notice is that you start thinking of fun times and enjoyable experience you have had.

It is impossible to feel “down” when you are smiling. If you are still doubting it, just try to get into a sour mood with a big grin on your face. You can’t do it.

The physiology of this is quite extraordinary. It is wired into us. In fact, if you thought … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Satisfaction vs. Happiness

On August 20, 2015 / Effectiveness

Many people think that satisfaction brings happiness in life. In reality, it’s the positive people, not the satisfied people, who are happy people. Happy people are pleasant to be around. Being around people you enjoy improves your own disposition and desire to put forth effort.

Being positive should not be confused with satisfaction. Telling someone to be satisfied makes little sense to me.

For example, after a presentation I ask myself, “What did I do that was good?” and “What can I improve?” Asking something like, “Am I satisfied with my effort?” would be of little value.

We always have the opportunity to learn and grow. If we were satisfied, we would never grow. It is the feelings that emanate … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Positivity and Your Future

On July 14, 2015 / Effectiveness

Did you know that as we grow older, our character traits become more ingrained? It’s true. In fact, they become even more pronounced. For example, a sweet person becomes sweeter, while a disagreeable person becomes a real crank in old age.

So what does this mean for you today? It means that the attitudes and traits you are planting now will take root and become rigid habits later in life. Therefore, it’s important to make a commitment to live a daily life of good cheer, optimism, and gratitude. Whatever choices you make today will serve you well later in life.

Plant happy seeds and enjoy today—and many, many tomorrow.

For tips on how to be more positive, see the books … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Protect Yourself from Negativity

On May 28, 2015 / Effectiveness

When you hear someone communicating negativity, imagine being surrounded by a Pyrex glass shield. It rebuffs all negativity–allowing only positivity to flow through. You will find that you can continue to converse and stay involved with those around you, but you won’t be affected by their negativity.

As silly as this sounds, it works. To slightly rephrase how Mother Teresa put it:

People may be illogical and self-centered. Treat them with positivity anyway.
If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do positive things anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Honesty may make you vulnerable. Be honest anyway.
People favor top dogs. Fight for some underdogs anyway.
What you

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

The Discipline of Practice

On May 19, 2015 / Effectiveness

How are you multiplying your effect on others? Take the practice of positivity, for example.

Are you making it a practice to self-talk in positive ways—always attempting to make any lemon into lemonade?

With friends talking about others, are you focusing on good traits of others rather than always focusing on negative ones?

When conversing with parents, are you helping them redirect negative, coercive thoughts by prompting them to reflect?

With your children, do you communicate in ways so that they perceive conversations in a noncoercive, encouraging manner?

With fellow employees, are you acknowledging their contributions?

You can extend your effectiveness by practicing your skills in as many situations as you can find.… >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Start the Day with Positivity

On April 30, 2015 / Effectiveness

Why start the morning as a “downer” when you can start your day in a positive, pleasant way!

Here is a little procedure you can use. Get up 20 minutes earlier than you need to do. Before turning on the TV, reading your email, or browsing the news sites—all of which can be full of discouraging news—read something uplifting.

The positive energy engendered will carry you through the day so that any situation you encounter can be handled more easily.

Simply by being uplifted in the morning, you will find it easier to enjoy your entire day.… >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Banish Negativity

On January 29, 2015 / Effectiveness

I was brought up on the principle my mother instilled in me, “If you can’t say anything nice about a person, then don’t say anything at all.”

This counsel grew into the first principle of my life’s practices: positivity, which is described in my book as the first principle to reduce stress.

In building relationships, negativism is the biggest enemy. You don’t want it in your mind. You don’t want it in your classroom. You don’t want it in your house. You don’t want it in your environment. You don’t want it in your discipline approach. You don’t want negativism for those who may work for you, your friends, your associates, and especially your students. You don’t want anything to … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Develop the Discipline of Positivity

On November 13, 2014 / Effectiveness

Winston Churchill once commented, “The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity.”

What do you typically see?

The pessimist allows problems to rent cognitive space. But why think of problems when you can fill your head with solutions?

How you respond to a new idea is an example of what you put in your head. Do you immediately dismiss it? Do you see it as foolishness? Or do you allow yourself to examine the idea, to try it on for size, and think, “It just might be worth trying?”

The positive person is open to the new, the different, and the innovative. How you respond to new ideas could be the difference … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Positivity Tips that Reduce the Need for Discipline

On May 6, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

For many people, mastering the first principle of Discipline Without Stress—positivity—is a challenge. After all, how do you keep positive in a discipline situation when a student is doing something he/she shouldn’t be doing and quite possibly testing your nerves?

It’s important to think, speak, and act with positivity in order to be most effective when you implement the Discipline Without Stress system. Even when a situation might be perceived as negative, as in a case where discipline is necessary, it is possible to phrase communications with students in positive rather than negative ways.

Why is this so vital? Because people do best when they feel better about themselves, as opposed to when they feel worse. Additionally, student cooperation … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Curiosity: A strategy for encouraging students to attend

On February 27, 2014 / Classroom Mgt., Creating desire, Discipline Answers, For Guest Teachers, For High Schools, For Middle Schools, For Specialty Teachers, Improving Academics, Motivating Students, Procedures in the Classroom

When I was in high school I had an English teacher who used a very simple strategy to interest and motivate students. It didn’t take much time or effort on his part and was just a simple thing, but it was enough to get me to want to attend his class every single day. What did he do? He simply put up a new thought-provoking quote, in large letters, in the same place, on the same side chalkboard every day.

He never referred to the quote. (I suspect that intuitively he knew that doing so might produce counterwill.) He never asked our opinions or started a discussion and most often the quote was not related in the least to … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Discipline and Change

On January 20, 2014 / Effectiveness, Relationships

Although you can control another person through outdated discipline techniques like imposed punishments and rewards, you cannot change what a person thinks. People think and change themselves.

Ben Franklin said, “You cannot coerce people into changing their minds.” Once you learn this simple fact of life, the next question is, “How can I best influence the person to change?” The answer will always be through a noncoercive approach. Using positivity, choice, and reflection (all of which are discussed in detail on this site and in my books Discipline Without Stress and Parenting Without Stress) will increase your effectiveness in influencing others and will also result in improved relationships and fewer discipline challenges.

Remember, a change in behavior … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

A procedure for getting preschoolers to try new foods

On December 4, 2013 / Building Relationships, Discipline Answers, Procedures in the Classroom

A few days ago I was in a restaurant having lunch. Next to me was a young mom also having lunch, accompanied by her lovely little preschooler. As their meal was ending, I noticed the mom lift a spoonful of something uneaten from her daughter’s plate and offer it to the little girl––who, with a shake of her curly blond head, declined to eat. That wasn’t unusual but what the mom said next prompted me to pay a bit more attention.

She said, “Okay, Katie, if you like this can be your “No thank you bite.” The little girl shook her head no.

No thank you bite?

Huh? What was she talking about?

Since I’d never heard this expression before, … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Seek Out the Positive

On November 11, 2013 / Effectiveness, Relationships

An old saying tells us: “If you can’t say anything nice about a person, then don’t say anything at all.”

That’s great advice, not only for your communications with others, but also with yourself. In other words, if you can’t say (or think) something nice about yourself, then don’t say (or think) anything at all … unless you can exert the discipline to turn it around to positive self-talk.

The practice of positivity—with others and yourself—is so important that it’s the first practice of the Discipline Without Stress model. The opposite, of course, is negativity. In building relationships with children and adults, negativity is the biggest enemy.

Don’t allow negative ideas that pop into your mind to direct your thoughts. … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

3 Keys for Stress-Free Discipline

On September 16, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness, Parenting

Practicing the principles of positivity, choice, and reflection reduces stress. These three principles also improve relationships, increase effectiveness in influencing others to change their behaviors, and make discipline easier. Here are some key points to remember:

Negative comments engender negative attitudes, while positive comments engender positive attitudes. People who are effective in influencing other to positive actions phrase their communications in positive terms. Rather than use consequences, which are usually perceived negatively and do not change the way a person wants to behave, they use contingencies, which promise with the positive and place the responsibility on the young person—where it belongs. If a consequence is necessary, a more effective approach is to elicit the consequence—which should be reasonable, respectable, and

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Positivity and Discipline

On September 4, 2013 / Effectiveness, Parenting

Positivity is like a magnet. People are drawn to the positive and repelled by the negative. This simple truth about human nature is so important that it forms the first part of the foundation for the Raise Responsibility System.

Positivity has power, especially when you’re attempting to discipline youth. Positivity is an attitude that, with practice, you can develop for yourself and with your children. When you do, you will be amazed at how your stress becomes significantly reduced, your effectiveness increased, and your relationships improved.

Here are 4 facts about positivity and the impact it has on discipline:

Negative comments provoke negative attitudes. Positive comments prompt positive attitudes. Keep discipline positive by always speaking in positive terms.
The pictures

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

My students are messy. How can I get them to clean up?

On July 31, 2013 / Creating desire, Discipline Answers, Motivating Students, Positivity, Procedures in the Classroom

Question:

My class is so messy! They leave trash everywhere and it takes them forever to clean up after centers, or art time or snack! How do you get kids to clean up? They will eventually clean it up because I keep telling them over and over, but I need some ideas!!

Response:

I try to approach it in this way in my primary class…

When I ring our chimes to get their attention at a clean up time, I typically make some positive reference to the activity which will directly follow. For instance, I might say….

Who’s interested to see what’s been brought for Show and Tell today?

Here’s the book we’re going to read today. I can’t wait

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Why Contingencies are a Positive Discipline Technique

On July 11, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Practicing the principle of positivity improves relationships, increases effectiveness in influencing others to change their behaviors, and makes discipline much easier.

Negative comments engender negative attitudes. Consequences (the usual discipline technique) are usually perceived negatively, and they do not change the way a youngster wants to behave. Additionally, announcing consequences ahead of time is often counterproductive with young people because it focuses on the consequences, rather than on the desired behaviors. Plus, such information encourages certain types of students to push until the limit is reached. If a consequence is necessary, a more effective approach is to elicit the consequence—which should be reasonable, respectable, and related to the situation.

Positive comments, on the other hand, engender positive attitudes. People who … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Make Positivity Your Habit

On November 26, 2012 / Effectiveness, Parenting

Making positivity a practice both in your self-talk and in your communications with others begins with awareness. Listen to yourself. Become aware of the number of times you say something negatively that could be phrased positively. Continually ask yourself before speaking, “How can I say this so it will be perceived in a positive way?”

Using positive phrases can turn what would have been a negative into a positive. The result is dramatic. The more you practice phrasing communications in the positive, the sooner it will become a new habit. A simple approach is to focus on what you want your children to do rather than on what you don’t want them to do. Eliminate disempowering, negative words such as … >>>

READ MORE >>> →