If you want to increase your effectiveness with anyone—employee, spouse, child, or student—start by stating something positive.
The famous folk hero, Will Rogers, said, “In all your life, you will never find a method more effective in getting through to another person than to make that person feel important.”
Find something that is deserving of recognition or some behavior or result that you like. Then let the person know that you appreciate it. In simple terms, acknowledge successes of a person.
When you build on what prompts a person to feel good, you will soon see how much more effective you become.