A teacher posted a request at DisciplineWithoutStress@yahoogroups.com. The teacher had a very challenging youngster and requested others to share some ideas working with very difficult young students. Following is one teacher's response. HER IDEA IS WELL WORTH YOUR READING IF YOU ARE A TEACHER OR parent WORKING WITH A VERY CHALLENGING YOUNG PERSON. "This is my second year using DWS (Discipline without Stress). I have a first grader this year who has exhibited many of the behaviors that you listed. I have used behavior sheets, given out laps, writing sentences, separated him from the group even using a science fair display board and then ultimately had to suspend him for a short time. NOTHING was working with him. He was
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Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 8 Number 3
#1 What Great Teachers Do
#2 Imposing vs. Eliciting
#3 Risk-Taking Questions
The following is from a post at DisciplineWithoutStress@yahoogroups.com. What a difference this year! By taking this approach my relationship with the students is incredibly wonderful. I have always had a good connection with MOST of my students, but there were always a few who just hated me. Those were the kids who were disruptive. This year, it’s different. The kids know I am about helping them, not about who’s right or wrong, not about who said so, etc. Being new to this, I may not do it right all the time, but the kids get my sincerity. I had to take a medical leave and was only able to tell the kids on my last day (due to school being
READ MORE >>> →When I again presented in Sacramento, California, one of the participants told me that he had attended one of my seminars in Sacramento several years previously and that he uses the Levels of Development in various situations—including those when he assists the local police. I asked Frank to share with attendees how he uses the program after arresting a youth and transporting that young person to the police department. Frank starts by being proactive. He explains the Levels of Development of the discipline plan, and he then informs the person that it is the person’s choice as to how he/she will be treated upon arrival at the destination. Frank explains that operating on Level A or Level B will prompt the
READ MORE >>> →All students have two questions when they first enter any classroom: (1) Will I fit in? (2) Will I succeed? Following are two simple ways to empower students so that their SELF-TALK will be in the affirmative: For the first, (Will I fit in?) REDUCE ANONYMITY. Start the class by having students share the name they would like to be called AND have them share one personal fact about themselves. This can be a hobby, a special interest, how they enjoy spending their time, a favorite movie, a special song—anything that others in the class can relate to and remember about the student. For the second, (Will I succeed?) USE SOME EMPOWERING APPROACH. Start an assignment or give a test
READ MORE >>> →After presenting in Adelaide, Australia (a lovely and very enjoyable city), I went shopping with my wife. Fortunately, as you will read, I forgot to bring a book. While waiting for my wife, I spotted a bookstore and purchased a copy of Dale Carnegie’s “HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE.” Originally published in 1936, the book went on to become one of the best-selling books of all time and made Carnegie an international celebrity. His book was used as the text in my first college speech course, and because it had been years since I first read it, I decided to re-read it. Carnegie had a gift for expressing profound truths in simple but profound ways. A perfect example
READ MORE >>> →VERBAL messages are only one means of communicating. MOVEMENT is another. For example, choose one place in your classroom where you will stand when you plan to admonish the class. (The same procedure works in the home, too.) Before saying anything, wait until you move to that one specific location. Young people are very perceptive. When you start walking to that pre-selected location, the class will immediately settle down. Reason: They antipcate what’s coming. GESTURES are another means of communication. An example was posted at DisciplineWithoutStress@yahoogroups.com: I introduce the Hierarchy of Social Development using charts I made downloaded from the web: Primary Poster and posters. I demonstrate the “picking up trash” example from the book. My students seem to get
READ MORE >>> →Each time you coerce someone into doing something by using your power of authority, you deprive that person of an opportunity to become more responsible. More information on this topic is available at http://marvinmarshall.com.
READ MORE >>> →The book, "Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards – How Teachers and parents Promote Responsibility and Learning," has three sections online. One of them has to do with reducing perfectionism. A major point of this section is that a person can not learn and be perfect at the same time. Failure only arrives when a person no longer tries. Failed attempts are learning experiences. The following is illustrative of this point. It is from one of the support groups (mailring/forum) at DisciplineWithoutStress@yahoogroups: I used the Raise Responsibility System (RRS) from the teaching model in kindergarten and first grade. There is just no better time to teach responsibility and control. There will be lots of mistakes and some backsliding and a
READ MORE >>> →We can never judge another person’s motivation with complete accuracy. Within a classroom where all the students look as if they are doing the same thing—perhaps quietly and cooperatively completing their assignments—some will be operating to receive a good grade or please the teacher and some will be putting forth effort to learn because they understand that success comes with effort. The teacher may have guesses about the motivation of each student but they are only guesses. A person’s motivation can be accurately determined ONLY by the person him/herself. That is why it is important that teachers ask questions to promote self-reflection in students. With this approach, we are not TELLING the student what WE think of their actions and
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 8 Number 2
#1 Classroom management
#5 Understanding Boys
#6 Review with examples of DW
Kids who can control their impulses do better in school. Most people believe that intelligence plays the key role in children's academic achievement. A recent study by Pennsylvania State University researchers, however, found that the ability to self-regulate—to pay attention to a task and inhibit impulsive behavior—was more important than intelligence for early academic success. The study focused on three-to-five-year-olds and showed that preschoolers' capacity for self-control was the best predictor of their performance in math and reading in kindergarten. Scores on intelligence tests were not as closely correlated with academic achievement. A child's ability to monitor his or her thinking and behavior develops rapidly during preschool. The data gives concrete support to preschool programs that focus more directly on
READ MORE >>> →Kerry Weisner has cataloged many questions and answers about discipline on her Discipline Answers blog. Her comments below answer a pressing question from many adults who would like to acknowledge appropriate and acceptable behaviors—Level C and D of the hierarchy from the Raise Responsibility System. Reflection and self-evaluation are key attributes of the system. By referring to the hierarchy, adults can encourage reflection on the higher, desirable levels. After explaining/teaching the hierarchy, the procedure is for the adult to ask the young person to identify the chosen level. It is unnecessary and even counterproductive to attempt to evaluate the motivation levels of C (external) or D (internal). However, it can be very empowering for young people themselves to assess their
READ MORE >>> →You might have read recently that some school districts are beginning to offer money as an INCENTIVE to students to increase school attendance. Since the incentive of money appeals to most people, this may appear to be a rational approach. Let's start with a clarification regarding INCENTIVES, REWARDS, AND EMPLOYMENT. An INCENTIVE, such as money, can be a MOTIVATOR. Receiving money, which occurs AFTER the action, is the EXTERNAL REWARD. It is important to remember, however, that the REWARD TEACHERS receive can be such things as satisfaction from the creativity of lessons and instruction, watching the young grow and mature, and relationships with students. The TEACHER'S REWARD IS NOT MONEY—as many teachers assume, e.g., "I wouldn't be working if I
READ MORE >>> →ASSUMPTION is the cause of much NEGATIVITY. Following is an example of negative emotions PROMPTED BY AN ASSUMPTION. Suppose your supervisor asks you to stop in the office before leaving for the day. When I recently mentioned this scenario at a presentation, I heard a great groan. Then I made the point: You assumed that the conversation would be negative. You didn’t know that; you just assumed it. This negative assumption may be natural, but it’s not inevitable. You have a choice regarding your self-talk. You don’t have to ASSUME the situation would have been a negative one. Just hold it in abeyance by redirecting your thoughts. Why prompt negative feeling when it is not necessary? As I clearly demonstrate
READ MORE >>> →A teacher recently shared a story with me about one of the oddest conversations the teacher ever had with a child. He was with a very bright, yet disruptive 7 year old. He had a history of misbehavior at school with lots of office time and suspensions. At the beginning of the year, the writer sat with the young lad after a minor infraction. During the conversation the teacher casually said something about, “Well, you know I can’t MAKE you behave; that’s something you have to want to do for yourself.” The little boy responded, “You HAVE to make me behave. That’s your job.” We must have spent about 15 minutes in a conversation that ended up centering, not on
READ MORE >>> →The University of Manchester in England set up a “Babylab” to investigate how babies think. The laboratory measures the diameter of the pupils in eyes 50 times a second as a 9-month-old follows a train that performs the improbable: The train enters a tunnel in one color and comes out another color. The pioneer in child development was the Swiss, Jean Piaget, who started his experiments in the 1920’s. They led him to conclude that infants younger than 9 months have no innate knowledge of how the world works. For example, infants do not comprehend that things actually exist when they are not seen. Babies must, Piaget concluded, gradually construct knowledge from experience. In recent years, however, “nativist” psychologists have
READ MORE >>> →The brain and body are an integrated system. Feelings and cognition are interrelated and have a significant effect upon learning. If you are a parent, you know this. When your child returns home after the FIRST day of school, you may ask, “How was school?” You also may ask, “What did you learn?” And you most certainly ask, “Do you like your teacher?” We know from our personal experiences and through research on the workings of the brain that how we feel has a significant effect upon what and how we think and behave. Therefore, IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TEACHERS AND STUDENTS IS ONE OF THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL REFORMS THAT SCHOOLS CAN INITIATE. The three practices of self-talking and communicating in
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