Posts Tagged choices

You Have More Choices than You Think

You’ve undoubtedly heard the phrase “Think Outside the Box.” But why is the box even there in the first place?

We think in the box because it is the only box given us. That is, our thoughts almost automatically become restricted to that which is presented to us. For example, the mother asks the youngster whether he would prefer fish or liver for dinner. Sometimes neither of the options is preferable, but we have a tendency to choose from these restricted options presented to us.

The more your self-talk begins with, “Are these my only choices?” the more options you’ll discover. A typical example is the oft-quoted question, “Is the glass half empty or half full?” The optimist responds … >>>


Do “enforceable statements” fit with Discipline without Stress?


I was thinking today about the “enforceable statements” that Love and Logic is big on using.  At first, I was thinking that I might use their statements in my Discipline without Stress teaching but now I’m wondering.  I’d like another opinion on the subject.

In the Love and Logic program, instead of making rules for your students, you only tell them what YOU, the adult will do.  The thinking behind this is that the only person you ever really have control over is yourself.

I can see how some enforceable statements could be used with Discipline without Stress if they fall into the category of procedures. For example, things like :

  • “Ooops, I listen to kids who
>>> READ MORE >>>

Do you think I did the right thing?


I am an art teacher at an elementary school. I have three 4th grade classes that are usually difficult to manage. I have recently asked a guest artist to come and do a Jackson Pollock lesson with them. She is supplying all the paint and canvases for this lesson, except one. I also have one very large (6 X 8) canvas that only one class will get to paint. The other two classes will have to work on smaller individual canvases. This lesson requires the students to be on their best behavior and be good listeners as we will be “splatter” painting. I told the classes they could “earn” the big canvas.  I said that the class with the … >>>


Limited versus Unlimited Choices

Offering youngsters choices is a key part of Parenting Without Stress. The choices parents offer can be either “limited” or “unlimited.”

Limited choices allow the child to select from a restricted number of options offered by the parent, whereas in unlimited choices, the child is encouraged to come up with an option of his or her own. Generally, the younger the child, the more limited the choices. For example, “Do you want cereal or an egg for breakfast?” would be a limited choice, while “What do you want for breakfast?” would be unlimited and more appropriate as children mature. However, if the response to an unlimited question is not practical, the choices can again be limited.

In situations when … >>>


Focus on the Important

When it comes to parenting, it’s important to choose your battles. While clashes may be unavoidable, it is not necessary to get pulled into every skirmish or make a bid deal about everything the child does. An effective strategy here is to ponder the answer to the question, “Will this matter a week from now?”

As a rule of thumb, only make a fuss about those issues that are harmful to the youngster or others, or are irreversible.

For example, I know one four-year-old girl who likes to put Hello Kitty bandages on her arms and legs when she has no physical need for a bandage; rather, she wears them like jewelry. I know a thirteen-year-old boy who wears a … >>>


How often should I be eliciting a consequence?


When a child does something they shouldn’t, I follow DWS and elicit the consequence from them.  There have been times however when I’ve been faced with children who don’t know how to think and apply consequences.  What do you suggest?


Elicit a consequence only when a youngster has done something that is rather drastic in nature. In the vast majority of times aim at eliciting a procedure.

Think of a youngster as a young adult who has just not achieved that stature. You want to help the person redirect impulses. Create a visual procedure to help the younger help him/herself. An example is at this link.
>>> READ MORE >>>

What is a Level B TEACHER?


I understand what a Level B student is but sometimes I hear teachers asking, “Do you want me to become a Level B teacher?” Can you explain what this is all about?

One important understanding students receive when the teacher introduces the Discipline without Stress Hierarchy in the beginning of the year is that people can in effect, choose the type of relationship they wish to have with other people, including the authority figures in their life.

Good relationships are created by operating on Level C. For those who choose to operate on Level D–the highest level–relationships will be even better and more satisfying. Students are also introduced to the understanding that frequent operation on Level B … >>>


I have an ADHD student who is very disruptive!


I have an ADHD student in my class who takes up at least a third of my time.I’m not sure if this would be part of the DwStress approach, but I have decided that from now on he will go to the In-School Discipline Room whenever he is disrupting my class. I feel that the essays and self-referrals are not working and that the best thing for the rest of my students is to get this child out of the room when he is disruptive.


EXACTLY!  It is simply not fair to other students or parents to allow this student to disrupt everyone else’s learning. His staying in your class is CONTINGENT upon his acting on >>>


How do I teach students to ignore a misbehaving classmate?


I have a 3rd grade student who is demonstrating increasingly 
disruptive behaviors. I have all kinds 
of support with him – my principal, school counselor, 
behavioral specialist – we’re all involved, every day. This boy can work elsewhere when he can’t manage in the classroom. My question is this: How do I 
teach the other students that it’s better for them to 
ignore this student’s behavior than to be an audience or worse yet, play along? I need some “choice 
words” to really explain it and underscore the importance of this.

They did a great job today and I complimented 
them on doing so after the student had been removed from the room. A couple of them asked me >>>


Using the Discipline without Stress Principle of Reflection to improve spelling.

Through our use of the Discipline without Stress approach, my teaching partner and I have come to understand that positive changes in behavior are more likely to occur when we prompt students to think about how they choose to operate in their lives. More and more often, we now practice the Discipline without Stress Principle of Reflection–not only in behavior and discipline situations, but in academics too.

Dr. Marshall’s Hierarchy of Social Development is a wonderful tool for encouraging students to look honestly at choices in all areas of their lives. With an understanding of choice-response thinking, young people become aware that a conscious choice to operate at the higher levels is always an option—an option that results in powerful … >>>


Would a school pledge fit into the Discipline without Stress approach?

At our school, we have a program intended to create peace in our community. I am being told that I must teach the pledge that goes with this program. Although I do like the idea of encouraging kids to be peaceful, I wonder how a pledge would fit into a Discipline without Stress approach. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

The pledge is:

I am a Peacebuilder.
I pledge to give up put-downs,
seek wise people,
notice and speak up about hurts I have caused,
and to right wrongs.
I pledge to build peace at home, at school,
and in my community each day.

Perhaps you feel uncomfortable, not about the pledge itself, but rather about telling students that … >>>