QUESTION: I am at the end of my tether with my 6-year old son. He does not pay attention and is distracting in class. At home everything is fine. He has got a behavior book that he brings to school so his teacher records his behavior for the day. He brings that home and he is punished accordingly, such as early bedtime, no toys/cartoons. He promises to behave, but he never does. Could you please point me in the right direction. RESPONSE: Take him for a walk and have a conversation with him. (Boys will not open up like girls. Boys will open up more if they are doing something—playing checkers, walking, or involved in some activity.) After starting the
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My mother-in-law -used to say, “Be careful of asking for someone’s opinion. The person may give it to you.” If someone asks you for your opinion and if the person perceives that your comments are derogatory, there is a problem. Cognition and emotion go hand in hand, with the latter preceding the former. In other words, what we hear may prompt a negative feeling. Once a negative feeling has erupted, it doesn’t do any good to try to convince the person that the way he or she feels is wrong. You’ve got to deal with the way the person feels first. An approach to resolving the situation is to ask the person whether the person is angry with you or
READ MORE >>> →Winston Churchill once commented, “The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity.” The pessimist allows problems to rent cognitive space. But why think of problems when you can fill your head with solutions? How you respond to a new idea is an example of what you put in your head. Do you immediately dismiss it? Do you see it as foolishness? Or do you allow yourself to examine the idea, to try it on for size, and think, “It just might be worth trying?” The positive person is open to the new, the different, and the innovative. How you respond to new ideas could be the difference between your learning and growing—or
READ MORE >>> →“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Professor Aldus Dumbledore speaking to Harry Potter From “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” by JK Rawling See the second practice of Part II of the Teaching Model.
READ MORE >>> →I had the pleasure of visiting the CNN headquarters and studio in Atlanta, Georgia. The broadcasting company owns CNN, CNN Headline News (which repeats headlines every 30 minutes), CNN Financial News, a channel that broadcasts in English to other continents, a channel that broadcasts in Spanish, and TNT (Turner Network Television) that broadcasts new and older motion pictures films from the film studio archives that Ted Turner had purchased. The company has four broadcast locations: headquarters in Atlanta, political broadcasts from Washington, D.C., financial broadcasts from New York, and entertainment broadcasts, such as Larry King from Los Angeles. I found the most interesting part of the CNN tour to be how the weather is projected and how the teleprompter is
READ MORE >>> →Character can be measured by what we do when we are sure no one else is watching. This education and learning book gives specific suggestions to anyone interested in the growth of young people in order to help ensure that they develop responsible character and behavior. —Margaret Connery, Corporate Trainer and Former Teacher More about character education and how to promote responsibility is at the character education linkat MarvinMarshall.com.
READ MORE >>> →Learning a procedure to respond appropriately to impulses is described on the link at http://marvinmarshall.com/impulsemanagement.html. Level C for COOPERATION is in green, as is Level D. Although the goal for young people is to strive for level D motivation, either of these two levels is acceptable. Level C for CONFORMITY is in YELLOW to remind people to reflect—to be cautious (as in a yellow traffic signal)—before engaging in an activity suggested by a peer. This is especially the case when the suggestion will lead to inappropriate or irresponsible behavior. Having a visible reminder, as the cards, assists young people to make responsible choices. The reverse of the cards has the visual for an impulse control technique.
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 10 Number 2
#2 Responsibility and motivation
#3 Effectiveness and feelings
#5 Peter Drucker on failing
QUESTION: Some of my youngsters and their parents were struggling with the word, "anarchy." Could I use a short phrase beginning with "absence of…." order? responsible behavior? Perhaps you could suggest a word/words that would fit and my young students could connect to anarchy until they develop a more clear understanding of its definition. RESPONSE: Many share some reluctance to using terms like "anarchy" and "democracy" to describe the levels to young children. At first, I shared that reluctance. These terms seem so advanced, especially for youngsters in kindergarten and preschool. But the only reason they seem advanced is because we ourselves were so much older when we first came across these words. It may be helpful to remember that
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: My youngest son has been particularly prickly recently. Even when I try to express my suggestions in a positive way, he interprets it as criticism. When he bridled at some comments I made about interrupting people, he really became upset. Any suggestions? RESPONSE: Being positive is the first principle to practice. Now use the second, the empowerment of choice and the third, reflection. Ask him a reflective question where the options are stated. For example, ask him if he prefers to go on as he is doing, having people irritated with him, or if he prefers finding out how he can improve his social skills. Then discuss some procedures and impulse control strategies that will help him.
READ MORE >>> →We’re all familiar with the Nike slogan, “Just do it.” If we apply this motto/suggestion/saying to anything that can be accomplished in two minutes or less, we will be using the “Two-Minute Rule.” Here is how it works. If you decide that an action can be accomplished in two minutes or less—do it!––then and there, even if it is a low priority item. The reason that this approach increases effectiveness is rather simple. If it takes two minutes or less to do something that you intend to do anyway, it will take you longer to stack and track, pull it back, and look at it again—than it would be to finish it the first time you encounter it. I think of the Two-Minute Rule as Teflon coating. Nothing sticks
READ MORE >>> →I often say in my seminars that if you believe a youngster is an adult, then punish the youngster as you would an adult. However, if you believe that young people are not yet adults and you want to prevent their becoming incarcerated with the other 2,0000,000 imprisoned people in this country, then punishment may not be the most effective approach. I was reminded of this when I read that 82-year-old Eugene Markovitz passed away from pneumonia. How he handled four youths after punishable behavior inspired a 1994 CBS television movie, “The Writing on the Wall,” starring Hal Landon. The actual incident occurred on Halloween night in 1988 and attracted national media attention. As a Halloween prank, four youths struck four sites in Clifton, New Jersey: the garage of Markovitz’s home,
READ MORE >>> →The following communication, written by Mary Lou Cebula, an elementary school principal in Warren Township, New Jersey was forwarded to me. She has given me permission to share it. A mother called me the other day to tell me Dr. Marshall’s levels of development are working even at home. Her first grade son is very tired at the end of each day. On the previous evening he had soccer practice after school and about 6:30 p.m. she was trying to get him to take a bath. He was lying on the bathroom floor naked and crying, “I am not going to take a bath and I am not getting my picture taken!” (The next day was picture day.) His mother calmly responded by saying, “I guess I will have to call Mrs.
READ MORE >>> →“If every teacher, at the beginning of the school year, would share this book with students for just 10 minutes a day, by October teaching and learning problems would be reduced to a minuscule portion of the day.” Linda McKay, Director, CHARACTERplus Cooperating School Districts, St. Louis, MO A descriptive table of contents, three selected sections, and additional items of interest are posted at the site indicated at the “book” link above.
READ MORE >>> →Using standardized tests to measure educational progress is contrary to the purpose of such tests. Educational leaders have been and are still basing their decisions about learning on the use of such tests, and it is having disastrous results. This is exemplified by third graders, especially conscientious ones, having anxiety attacks and by the surge of high school students giving up and just dropping out of school. In the future, people will look back and ask, “How could we have been so foolish as to allow this to occur?” How could we justify using standardized tests (where half the test takers automatically fall below 50%) as an accountability instrument? How did we justify determining people’s successes or failures solely on taking “pencil and paper” tests? How did
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: I am a kindergarten teacher who highly recommends your book whenever the subject of discipline arises. Today I told one of my students who hit another child, “I want you to stay in our classroom, but if you act on Level B again, you are telling me that you want to keep on making your own rules for the class. We can’t accept that, so you may stay in the classroom only if your behavior is at Level C or D.” When he began to harass another child, I made it a point to remain matter-of-fact, and said to him, “You have again decided to make your own rules for the class, so you have chosen to spend time in another room.” As I was getting ready to take him,
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: The school I work in is very entrenched in the idea that discipline equals punishment. The students buy into this idea in that they seem to depend on punitive reactions from their teachers/parents. How does one help the child to move from being punishment-minded to being self-motivated? RESPONSE: Punishment—which is very often confused with discipline—operates on the theory that young people must be hurt to learn, that they must be harmed to instruct. Can you recall the last time you felt bad and did something good? People do not think positively with negative feelings. Punishments kill the very thing we are attempting to do—change behavior into something that is positive and socially appropriate. If your school believes that YOUNG people ARE NOT YET ADULTS, then their use
READ MORE >>> →"Give and you shall receive." We know this, but how often do we practice it? At the root of so many relationship problems is that people stop giving to each other—or they give the wrong things. This is very common in parent-child relationships. parents are more likely to give children" things" rather than experiences. Because young people WANT "things," parents mistakenly believe that is what their children NEED. Years ago, Charles Frances Adams (son of President John Quincy Adams, grandson of President John Adams, and President Abraham Lincoln's minister to England) wrote in his diary one day, "Took my boy fishing today. A wasted day." His son, Brook Adams, wrote in his diary the same day, "Went fishing today with my father. Greatest day of my life." Any good relationship, whether
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