What we think is a simple sharing of opinion can be construed by the other party as denigrating. What we think is a simple sharing of opinion can be construed by the other party as denigrating. In such cases, it doesn’t do any good to try to convince the person that the way he or she feels is wrong. You need to deal with the way the person feels to effect their thinking. The most effective way to do this is to apologize–that your intent was not to prompt poor feelings but rather just to share an opinion. Then acknowledge that you accept their opinion–even if you differ with it. That’s what diversity means. In such cases, it doesn’t do any
READ MORE >>> →Archive
President Calvin Coolidge said, “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. President Calvin Coolidge said, “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” How many times have we given up only to find that one more attempt would have brought success. As a salesman and later a sales manager, my mantra was a four-letter word: “Next!” Every rejection prompted this thought, which gave me optimism and kept me going. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with
READ MORE >>> →In a recent article entitled, “Teaching Your Children Responsibility,” the author stated the following: “When you give a child an allowance that’s tied to doing chores or work, it becomes much more meaningful and begins teaching children about the rewards and frustrations of having to earn a living.” This reasoning is very common: REWARDS ARE THE RESULT OF WORK. HOWEVER, THIS THINKING IS MISDIRECTED. Employment is contract-based. A wage is compensation for services. Therefore, tying an allowance to work is misdirected. The purpose for giving an allowance is to generate an understanding of finance, budgeting, and to experience scarcity and wealth. Let the youngster know that the reason for the allowance is to provide some spending money coupled with the experience of handling money. Regarding chores: They are a
READ MORE >>> →“I think; therefore, I am” is perhaps the most famous statement in the history of philosophy. The statement by Rene Descartes, penned in 1637, still has a significant influence on our thinking in the 21st century. The statement is the foundation of Cartesian dualism that separates the brain from the body. In his book, Damasio challenges Descartes’ pronouncement. Damasio, an M.D. and Ph.D., now at the University of Southern California and adjunct professor at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in La Jolla, California, is the recipient of scores of scientific honors and prizes. He is internationally recognized for his research on the neurology of vision, memory, and language along with his contributions to the understanding of Alzheimer’s disease. He contrasts the brain (neurological) with the mind (psychological) and shows that the brain,
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: QUESTION We attended your presentation at the National Middle Schools Association conference in Portland, Oregon, recently, and my teammates and I are now piloting your program with our 7th graders. We all purchased a copy of your book, and as the humanities teacher on the team I taught the levels to the students. So far things are going pretty well, but I have two burning questions for you. First, I am a little unsure on how the steps are implemented. As you know, uncertainty in a discipline program can be a dangerous thing! Basically my question is this: Does a student have to misbehave three times in one class period in order to receive a diagnostic? In other words,
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: QUESTION: I find that I am telling my youngster, “No,” so often that it disturbs me. I want to be positive, but “No” sounds so negative. Do you have any suggestions? RESPONSE: Interesting that you asked this question since I ran into a similar situation recently with my wife. We were about to attend a “Robbie Burns Dinner”–a formal event dedicated to the memory of the gifted Scottish poet and song writer who gave us such world classics as “Auld Lange Syne” and “My Love Is Like A Red, Red Rose.” I planned to wear formal Scottish attire–a “Montrose” jacket and kilt. My wife inquired if she should wear a certain dress that she had selected. I asked myself,”How
READ MORE >>> →Telling the truth may not be comfortable, it may not make you look your best, but it’s a sure way to good relationships. Telling the truth may not be comfortable, it may not make you look your best, but it’s a sure way to good relationships. I like the way one wealthy individual told the truth. He was asked how he had amassed a huge fortune. He said, “It was really quite simple. I bought an apple for five cents, spent the evening polishing it and sold it the next day for ten cents. With this, I bought two apples, spent the evening polishing them, and sold them for twenty cents. And so it went until I had amassed $1.60. It
READ MORE >>> →Most people plan for everything in their lives–except their lives. As George Burns (who passed on at 99) oftentimes said, “If I had known I would live so long, I would have taken better care of myself.” These thoughts were prompted by a family gathering at our home the second week of last month: the celebration of my mother-in-law’s 100th birthday. A few months ago, the University of Southern California chapter of Phi Delta Kappa International (my home chapter) honored Emory Stoops, former national president and its first international president on the 100th anniversary of his birth. (Phi Delta Kappa is an educational association devoted to advancing research, service, and leadership in education. It publishes perhaps the most respected journal
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 9 Number 11
#4 5 Tips for getting along
#7 Acknowledging responsible behavior
#8 External motivation doesn’t transfer
Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 9 Number 10
#2 Using the book drawings
#6 Asking reflective questions
#7 Dealing with a chatty class
QUESTION: I have your book, and I’m trying to find the best way to approach students who have physically harmed another. An example: One little girl pinched a boy because she thought he was going to pull some books down on her. He almost pulled the books on me. The three of us discussed the incident and the two students seemed satisfied. I asked the pinched child what he thought should happen and the pinching child apologized. Was there another way for me to approach the situation? RESPONSE: Excellent! You ELICITED from the child, rather than imposed something. The next step is to establish some procedure. Let’s assume the student has the urge to do it again. Discuss what can
READ MORE >>> →+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Each time you coerce someone into doing something by using your power of authority, you deprive that person of an opportunity to become more responsible. Learn a more effective approach at MarvinMarshall.com. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: I was contacted by a reporter from CBS News who was inquiring about the reported increase in oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) ) of students in a major eastern coast city. The reporter had heard that teachers are having a frustrating time dealing with students who have ADD, ADHD, and now ODD. How can teachers teach, prepare students for high stakes testing, and individualize programs for all their “disordered” students? RESPONSE: I informed her that the designation of ODD at one time was referred to as “passive-aggressive” behavior but had been re-designated by the American Psychiatric Association in 1994. In that year, the association published their “DIAGNOSTIC AND STATISTICAL MANUAL OF MENTAL DISORDERS – FOURTH EDITION (DSM-IV). This is the
READ MORE >>> →Dr. William Glasser, the originator of “Reality Therapy” and “Choice Theory,” believes that attempts to change others by using “external control psychology” are doomed to fail. He refers to such “external approaches” as the “seven deadly habits.” He lists them as: criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and rewarding to control. To prove his point, just respond to the following: How do you feel when someone criticizes you? How do you feel when someone blames you? How do you feel when someone complains to you? How do you feel when someone nags you? How do you feel when someone threatens to do something to you? How do you feel when someone punishes you? How do you feel when someone offers
READ MORE >>> →“Win as if you are used to it, and lose as if you don’t care.” Aphorism on Tile Restroom Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum Boston, Massachusetts
READ MORE >>> →