QUESTION: Does anyone know if Discipline without Stress is ever implemented in high school? I teach high school Leadership classes and I think high schoolers need these things even more immediately than little ones. The real world is going to require self-discipline of them, real soon! Raising their responsibility is exactly what high school kids need. Most of the discussions I hear about the system seemed aimed at younger children, though presumably they should be applicable to older students as well. I would like any tips, or even encouragement for using this discipline approach in high school. RESPONSE: Discipline without Stress was developed when the author, Dr. Marvin Marshall, was teaching in a high school setting. It’s been adapted for
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Kerry and her teaching partner, Darlene, continue to share how they use the three practices (Part II) of the Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model. We try to develop excellent personal relationships with our most challenging students. In this way, we know that we have a better chance of having them WANT to cooperate with us. We often ask these students to be our helpers. We get them on OUR side right from the beginning. Although we want to have excellent relationships with all of our students, our first priority is to HAVE OUR MOST IMMATURE STUDENTS ATTACH TO US. The work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld has really helped us in this. I can’t recommend his workshops and DVD’s too highly.
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: I have often been tempted to order the Discipline without Stress book. What has held me back is my school’s requirement that we use the same discipline plan throughout the department (in my case, 4th through 6th grades.) The department has the same rules: (1) Be respectful (2) Be obedient (3) Be honest (4) Be responsible.After the usual warning, if any rule is violated, a tally is given to the student. The number of tallies for the week determines the child’s behavior grade. A behavior grade must be given each week. Here is my question: Is it feasible to use both this discipline plan and the DWS method or would it be too cumbersome/confusing? The one is mandatory for
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: Language is my biggest stumbling block. I know what I want to say but on the spur of the moment I often find it hard to put into words. As I develop new habits with this discipline approach, I sometimes feel a bit tongue-tied. Can you give me some examples of questions that don’t sound manipulative or coercive. RESPONSE: Developing new habits can be a challenge at first, but remember that any skill gets easier with practice! There are many questions in Dr. Marshall’s book that can be used to prompt reflection (pages 19-20.) It’s important to remember that tone of voice is very important when asking questions, so as to avoid any sense of sarcasm or coercion. Here
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: I have used Discipline without Stress for about five or six years now and plan to continue to do so in the fall with my new Grade 3 class. I will be getting a student with Asperger’s Syndrome, who has a full time E.A. From what I understand, much of his day is based on rewards of some kind, such as time on the computer. If you have used the levels of responsibility with a student who is extremely emotional, yet quite high functioning, please post your ideas and advice. REPSONSES from members of the Discipline without Stress mailring: I have used Discipline without Stress for about 4 years now. During that time I’ve had at least 3-4 kids
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#2 Focusing on the future
#4 Pain from people or things
#6 Feelings from Level D
Kerry and her teaching partner, Darlene, continue to share how they use the Hierarchy from Discipline Without Stress. After teaching the hierarchy, we rarely refer to the bottom two levels. Perhaps once or twice a week we may need to do this but seldom more than that. We find that the key to success with the hierarchy is to focus almost exclusively on the higher two levels by always motivating the kids to aim for Level C—or higher if they want. We find we can help students achieve Level C motivation most of the time by being proactive in our use of the hierarchy. BEFORE DOING MOST ACTIVITIES, WE PROACTIVELY DISCUSS OR TELL STUDENTS WHAT LEVEL C LOOKS LIKE. In
READ MORE >>> →Whenever something new is introduced, plan to thoroughly teach carefully the procedures—not just once or twice but at least a few times. Every detail is demonstrated and includes, for example, what to do in the cafeteria with dirty spoons, plastic containers, juice boxes, straws and garbage after snack or lunch time. Kerry has her students practice each procedure at least at least eight times. She actually moves the kids around the room after snack time eight times and has them sit on the floor at the back sink and near the cloakroom where the garbage and juice box containers are located in order to have students experience the procedures that she wants them to follow. She does the same for
READ MORE >>> →The following is from a post at the mailring. QUESTION: I’m being encouraged by my principal and special education department to use behavior charts and rewards to get students to behave more responsibly. Their argument is that these kids are still on the “concrete” level and must be treated like preschoolers. I’m supposed to be on them all the time until their behavior is automatic. RESPONSE: I can see why you are uncomfortable with carrying out the suggestions of your principal and special education experts. They’re asking you to control your students through manipulation—and in effect, be responsible for their behaviour. This is a very stressful way to approach classroom discipline because it is actually impossible to make someone else
READ MORE >>> →Here is a simple but highly effective idea to improve relationships: Periodically ask yourself, “Am I a joy to be around?”
READ MORE >>> →We often want to assist people by telling them what to avoid. Upon analysis, you will discover that so often when you tell a person what to avoid, the opposite results. The reason is that the brain does not envision "don't" or any other negative-type word. The brain envisions pictures, illusions, visions, and images. Here is an example: Don't think of the color blue. What color did your brain envision? Here is another example: Think of any house pet—except a little white kitten with a bright red bow around its neck. The park sign, "Don't walk on the grass" is less effective than "Please use walkways." The teacher who tells the student not to look at his neighbor's paper is
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: I have a 3rd grade student who is demonstrating increasingly disruptive behaviors. I have all kinds of support with him – my principal, school counselor, behavioral specialist – we’re all involved, every day. This boy can work elsewhere when he can’t manage in the classroom. My question is this: How do I teach the other students that it’s better for them to ignore this student’s behavior than to be an audience or worse yet, play along? I need some “choice words” to really explain it and underscore the importance of this. They did a great job today and I complimented them on doing so after the student had been removed from the room. A couple of them asked me
READ MORE >>> →When students are standing around watching bullying behavior, they become accomplices. The bully wants to show off. A person on Level D of the Levels of Development—one who understands that democracy and responsibility are inseparable—will TAKE THE INITIATIVE in an attempt to disperse the crowd and remove a prime motivational factor for the bully. How do you get people to WANT to take the initiative to act responsibly? I believe it’s done by understanding the relationship between the brain and the body—by communicating ideas so that positive emotions kick in. Only by tapping into positive emotions will young people feel that they WANT to do the right thing simply because it’s the right thing to do—regardless of peer influence. It
READ MORE >>> →To be most effective, communicate not only to prompt thinking but to also prompt good feelings. This is especially the case when you would like to put a stop to irresponsible behavior—such as bullying. Explain the MOTIVATION of those students whose behavior is on Level B of the Levels of Development—those who boss and bully others. Use a ruler or a meter stick (yard stick in the U.S.A.) to demonstrate a teeter-totter (see-saw). Hold it flat, parallel to the floor, and describe that this is how it looks when people are balanced with themselves and with others—when they are making responsible choices. However, when one person starts to pick on another person, the teeter-totter gets out of balance. The person
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: I don’t understand how the teaching of procedures can be used in a discipline situation. Can you give me an example? RESPONSE: Having used Discipline without Stress for several years now, I understand the importance of teaching procedures at the start of the school year. Even so, I still find that I sometimes forget this important step in my teaching and then suffer the consequences. Luckily though, I also know how Dr. Marshall would suggest remedying such a situation. He would suggest backtracking–to teach the procedures that I should have taught in the first place! Here is an example of one such impromptu “lesson” which turned out to be extremely helpful for the remainder of the school year. **************************************************************************************************************************************
READ MORE >>> →Among many questions asked during my school presentations around the world, one in particular prompted me to really reflect. The question was, “What is it that makes your approach so successful?” My response was that I think of how the brain and body are so interrelated that one affects the other. Therefore, I think of how the brain and body react whenever I communicate. For example, if I compliment you, a good feeling is prompted. In contrast, if I tell you to do something, or criticize you, or blame you for something, then a negative feeling ensues. The mind first processes information (external stimuli); then emotion kicks in. But we oftentimes do not act on cognition; it’s emotion that prompts
READ MORE >>> →This topic of the teen-age brain has been an interesting one to me since so much of what I have read suggests that the development of teenagers’ brains is somewhat “arrested” and that this may be the cause of so much of their behavior. It has been said that it is easier for adults—in contrast to teenagers—to suppress bad responses to peer influence. Adults are better able to keep themselves doing what is appropriate, rather than subscribing to temptation. “Discipline without Stress” teaches (a) a hierarchy so young people understand the differences between internal motivation and external motivation—and to be cautious about negative peer influences (b) impulse management—the necessity for having a procedure to redirect impulses and temptations, and (c)
READ MORE >>> →Thank you for your book! It so nicely synthesizes what we know about “best practice” teaching and classroom management. I love the framework and the language that you use. Since discovering your book, many people on our staff have been doing a book study and plan on implementing your system in our classrooms. I used much of the system last year and it was my best year of teaching ever! I am not great at “posing” questions yet, but, “You cannot learn a skill and be perfect at the same time.” Thanks for writing that! Sonya Overman Chamberlain Elementary School Northern Indiana Sample chapters from the book are online at the book.
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