WithoutStress.com

STRESS MANAGEMENT for Living, Teaching, & Parenting

Discipline

Discipline and Expectations

On August 21, 2013 / Discipline, Learning

The greater danger
for most of us
is not that our aim is
too high
and we miss it,
but that it is
too low
and we make it.
— Michelangelo (1475 – 1564)

Ask the key to success in real estate and you will hear, “location, location, location.”

Ask the key to appropriate behavior and learning and you will hear, “expectation, expectation, expectation.”

Questioning why some cultures and subcultures produce citizens who have developed the characteristics of behaving appropriately, perseverance, and those requirements necessary for a civil society and you will soon conclude that the key has to do with expectations.

My way of communicating Michelangelo’s message is concluding my presentations with two words: EXTEND YOURSELF! … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Disciplining a Challenging Child

On August 16, 2013 / Discipline

If you have a very challenging youngster, here is a technique that will give you and the child success.

Give the disrupting child four clothespins. Clip them together to make a square. At the beginning of the school day place them on top of the student’s desk where they are readily visible and accessible.

When the particularly challenging student acts irresponsibly, quietly ask for a clothespin.

Taking the clothespin gives something tangible to attach to an undesirable behavior and an opportunity to have the child make a better choice. The student is prompted to reflect, “Is this behavior worth losing a clothespin, or can I figure this out on my own?… >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Discipline Without Stress Success

On August 12, 2013 / Discipline

I received the following from the author of the most widely used book on discipline in university classrooms preparing future teachers:

“I think you are the best thing going in discipline today.”
—C.M. Charles, 11 Editions of Building Classroom Discipline

Here are three simple reasons that the Discipline Without Stress (DWS) and the Raise Responsibility System (the discipline part of DWS) work:

1. It is totally noncoercive. The model creates an atmosphere where people feel safe; they know that they will not be harmed.

2. Students NEVER need to defend their behavior because their behavior is never referred to. Instead, something outside the person (a level) is referred to.

3. When people understand the difference between EXTERNAL motivation–Level C (to … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Top 10 Problems with Using Imposed Punishments as Discipline

On August 8, 2013 / Discipline, Responsibility

A common myth is that imposed punishments are necessary to change young people’s behavior. In reality, imposed punishment comes out of our desire to control. In contrast, when the desire is to teach and raise responsible citizens, teaching and guidance prevail.

Despite succeeding in stopping irresponsible behavior in some cases, imposed punishments are ineffective with far too many young people as a method for helping them make lasting changes in their behavior. In fact, here are the top 10 problems with using imposed punishments as discipline:

Imposed punishments…

Are temporary
Are adult-dependent rather than self-dependent
Are inconsistently applied
Are based on avoidance
Lose their effectiveness over time
Do nothing to help a young person learn to modify irresponsible behavior
Foster

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Rules, Citizenship, and Discipline

On August 6, 2013 / Discipline, Responsibility

A common practice in classrooms around the world is to establish classroom rules, either by the teacher alone or by the teacher and students cooperatively. Rules are necessary in games, but in relationships they are counterproductive. Although the establishment of rules has good intentions, their implementation often produces deleterious effects.

When Johns Hopkins University researchers analyzed data from more than 600 schools, they found six characteristics associated with discipline problems. Notice that the first three concerned rules.

Rules were unclear or perceived as unfairly or inconsistently enforced.
Students didn’t believe in the rules.
Teachers and administrators didn’t know what the rules were or disagreed on the proper responses to student misconduct.
Teacher-administrator cooperation was poor or the administration was inactive.

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Discipline Yourself to Ask Two Questions

On July 29, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

When you meet a new person, discipline yourself to ask two questions. Here is the background that led me to this conclusion and the specific questions.

KFWB was the radio station I listened to most often when I was growing up in Hollywood, California. Al Jarvis was the disk jockey, and he would very often say, “It’s the little things in life that mean the most to all of us.”

I have so often wondered at the truth of this wisdom. Our feelings are affected by so many small experiences that we have a tendency to think about most often. A small gesture on our part can make a lasting effect. For example, when one person welcomes the “newbie” as … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

A Discipline Problem: Overdue Library Books

On July 26, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

The school librarian sent out overdue library notices on three different colors of paper in an attempt to retrieve books. The first color was a notice that the book was overdue. The second colored notice announced that a book was really late and that the next notice would be a detention. The third was a notice that the book was three weeks overdue and that the student had to serve a detention.

The librarian was sending out more than 200 notices each week. The process had turned into a bit of a joke with students who realized that the first two notices really didn’t count.

Using the Discipline Without Stress approach, the librarian sent the following notice the next … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

The Theory Behind Discipline Without Stress (DWS)

On July 25, 2013 / Discipline

“Discipline Without Stress” has two fundamental characteristics. The first is that stress—oftentimes associated with discipline—is significantly reduced. The second is that external manipulators, such as rewards for appropriate behavior, are not used because they are counterproductive to promoting responsibility.

Punishments—be they referred to as logical or natural—are based on the theory that the person needs to be harmed to be taught, to be hurt in order to learn. Therefore, imposed punishments are not used. Instead, procedures or consequences are elicited because they are much more effective in changing behaviors.

The site shows how to promote responsible behavior by using 21st century approaches espoused by such authorities as Stephen Covey, W. Edwards Deming, and William Glasser. … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Using the Levels of Development with Very Young People

On July 24, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness, Levels of Development

The Levels of Development uses just four (4) concepts, or vocabulary terms, to describe two unacceptable behaviors (Level A and Level B) and two other terms to describe the concepts of external motivation (Level C) and internal motivation (Level D). The use of these terms leads to improved self-discipline.

Some primary teachers feel uncomfortable using the terms associated with unacceptable behaviors—anarchy and bullying. Rather than ignoring these negative concepts, young people are empowered when they can identify, articulate, and resist them.

The way to learn a concept is to have a way to describe it. This is the reason that one of the most fundamental approaches to … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Coolidge, Persistence, McDonald’s, and Discipline

On July 19, 2013 / Discipline, Learning

Ray Kroc sold malted milk machines in Southern California. Two brothers owned a drive-in restaurant, and they were his best customers. Kroc believed that the brothers’ business model was a good one. Their place was well-lit and clean, had a wholesome family atmosphere, offered uniform quality at a fair price, and sustained a volume that outstripped all of Kroc’s other customers.

Kroc was able to have the brothers sell their drive-in restaurant to him, but he retained the company’s name: McDonald’s.

The new owner found a Calvin Coolidge quote that expressed his business philosophy and posted it on the wall of every McDonald’s. It read:

“Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Why Contingencies are a Positive Discipline Technique

On July 11, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Practicing the principle of positivity improves relationships, increases effectiveness in influencing others to change their behaviors, and makes discipline much easier.

Negative comments engender negative attitudes. Consequences (the usual discipline technique) are usually perceived negatively, and they do not change the way a youngster wants to behave. Additionally, announcing consequences ahead of time is often counterproductive with young people because it focuses on the consequences, rather than on the desired behaviors. Plus, such information encourages certain types of students to push until the limit is reached. If a consequence is necessary, a more effective approach is to elicit the consequence—which should be reasonable, respectable, and related to the situation.

Positive comments, on the other hand, engender positive attitudes. People who … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Discipline and Internal Motivation

On July 8, 2013 / Discipline, Learning

A prime reason that the discipline and learning system (Discipline Without Stress) is so successful is that it teaches young people to understand differences between internal and external motivation.

In the research book, Intrinsic Motivation and Self Determination in Human Behavior by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, they conclude, “In other words, verbal rewards (i.e. cognitive feedback) left intrinsic motivation unchanged in a situation where tangible rewards undermine it.” (p. 60)

The Discipline Without Stress system promotes giving positive feedback, especially recognition, but does not suggest giving tangible rewards. One reason is that once a tangible reward is given, motivation inevitably changes. Will the incentive be pursuing the objective … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Noncoercive Discipline and Logical and Natural Consequences

On July 7, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Imposed consequences for discipline—whether they are referred to as “logical” and/or “natural”—are basically punishments, eventhough they may be “punishment light.” The reason is that these discipline approaches are imposed.

Discipline Without Stress works with young people. This is in contrast to consequences that does things to them. It makes no difference if the intention is to teach a lesson; imposed punishments increase the likelihood that the person will feel punished.

Any form of punishment where something is done to another person prompts negative feelings, resentment, and resistance.

“Discipline Without Stress” elicits consequences and, therefore, avoids these problems typically associated with punishment. The reason is that young people do not feel like victims when they have designed their own consequence … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Self-Discipline and the Theatre of the Mind

On July 5, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness, Learning

The concept of a “Theatre of the Mind” was described by Maxwell Maltz, a cosmetic surgeon and author of Psycho-Cybernetics. It is a system of ideas that could improve a person’s self-image. His self-discipline system was developed after he discovered that people who had cosmetic surgery to improve their self-esteem failed to do so. Maltz concluded that in order to improve one’s “outer image,” the “inner image” must also be addressed. In essence, if one’s self-image is unhealthy or negative, all cosmetic efforts will be to no avail.

His ideas focus on visualizing as the cornerstone of change. His “Theatre of the Mind” is constructed in a person’s imagination, as in a real motion picture house. It is a … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Discipline and a Repair Room

On July 3, 2013 / Discipline, Learning

The idea of using a repair room for discipline challenges was sent to me by Cathy Rogers, a National Board Certified Teacher in Verona, Kentucky.

—–

I began using the Raise Responsibility System in my classroom of 7 and 8-year-olds.

After learning the different levels, the students and I discussed that our class, when working in levels C and D, was a “learning machine.” When someone was behaving on level A or level B, our learning machine became like a bicycle with a broken piece; the piece needed to be fixed, and the machine could not work correctly until that was done.

We need everyone’s contributions to be a whole. We decided to call our area of the room … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Discipline, PBIS, and Behaviorism

On July 2, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness, Learning

Positive Behavioral Intervention and Supports (PBIS) is based upon using external approaches to promote responsible behavior and discipline. A little history is in order.

B. F. Skinner (1904-1990) was the famed Harvard University psychologist who became popular with his practice of behaviorism, which is an extension of classical conditioning that is identified with Pavlov’s dog. The dog smells food and salivates. By pairing an artificial stimulus with a natural one—such as ringing a bell when the food appears—the dog associates the two. Ring the bell; the dog salivates. (Pavlov was smart enough not to use a cat; cats, like humans, are too independent.)

Operant conditioning, commonly referred to today as behaviorism is concerned with how an action may be controlled … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Teacher Training and Discipline

On June 26, 2013 / Discipline, Learning

A prime thrust of teacher training programs should be teaching what to do when a new teacher first enters the classroom.

Teaching is the only profession that does not train its practitioners to do what is necessary when they first enter the profession. In the case of teaching, this means entering the classroom and immediately getting the respect of their students; creating a climate of trust so they will not be harmed physically, emotionally, or psychologically; and creating an atmosphere where students want to be.

A recent report by the National Council on Teacher Quality in their recent study, “Teacher Prep Review 2103 Report,” indicated that teaching how to create … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

How Discipline Without Stress Is Unique

On June 26, 2013 / Discipline, Learning

The “Discipline Without Stress” (DWS) System is the only discipline and learning system that is totally noncoercive. This does not mean it is permissive. When disruptive discipline problems occurs, authority is used—but not coercion.

Notice that the term, “system,” is used. See the Discipline Without Stress Teaching model. The approach is proactive, which is Stephen Covey’s first habit of highly effective people. A hierarchy is taught at the outset to prompt students to reach the highest level.

Desire, caring, integrity, kindness, generosity, perseverance, and responsibility cannot be mandated. These qualities can only be taken, not given by an external agent. The system creates desire so young people want to be responsible, want to put forth … >>>

READ MORE >>> →

Search By Blog Category