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Discipline Without Stress Success

On August 12, 2013 / Discipline

I received the following from the author of the most widely used book on discipline in university classrooms preparing future teachers:

“I think you are the best thing going in discipline today.”
—C.M. Charles, 11 Editions of Building Classroom Discipline

Here are three simple reasons that the Discipline Without Stress (DWS) and the Raise Responsibility System (the discipline part of DWS) work:

1. It is totally noncoercive. The model creates an atmosphere where people feel safe; they know that they will not be harmed.

2. Students NEVER need to defend their behavior because their behavior is never referred to. Instead, something outside the person (a level) is referred to.

3. When people understand the difference between EXTERNAL motivation–Level C (to … >>>

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Encouragement vs. Praise

On August 9, 2013 / Learning, Responsibility

Giving children specific feedback and encouraging them to evaluate their own work is a form of encouragement.

If we think of praise as a general statement, such as, “You did a good job” or “I like what you did,” we have not given the youngsters feedback for a basis to evaluate or improve. We have also given a personal opinion.

In contrast, if we think of encouragement as giving specific feedback, such as “You filled the whole page with color,” or “You wrote your whole name,” then we are removing personal opinion. We are stating our observation.

When we encourage by giving feedback, we gently push the child to do … >>>

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Handling Tattoos with Young People

On August 7, 2013 / Parenting

I was asked how to handle a situation where a daughter wants a tattoo, but the parent does not want to see a tattoo on her body.

I responded that the most effective approach is to induce the daughter to influence herself. The key to this approach is asking reflective questions and prompting the daughter to evaluate. Here are some reflective questions that I shared with her:

“How about making a list of all the advantages and the disadvantages of getting a tattoo and then comparing the responses?”

“Project ahead five years. Is the short term fun worth the long-term frustration when you will want it removed?”

“Remembering that the emotion … >>>

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Rules, Citizenship, and Discipline

On August 6, 2013 / Discipline, Responsibility

A common practice in classrooms around the world is to establish classroom rules, either by the teacher alone or by the teacher and students cooperatively. Rules are necessary in games, but in relationships they are counterproductive. Although the establishment of rules has good intentions, their implementation often produces deleterious effects.

When Johns Hopkins University researchers analyzed data from more than 600 schools, they found six characteristics associated with discipline problems. Notice that the first three concerned rules.

Rules were unclear or perceived as unfairly or inconsistently enforced.
Students didn’t believe in the rules.
Teachers and administrators didn’t know what the rules were or disagreed on the proper responses to student misconduct.
Teacher-administrator cooperation was poor or the administration was inactive.

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Learning and Business

On August 5, 2013 / Learning

Learning should not be compared to business. Business is a poor model for learning.

Business leaders are out of their expertise when they suggest that competition in learning is comparable to competition in business. The examples where businesses display poor practices are so numerous that they could fill an entire book.

Business is so different from education that in my education book the only place I use the term “work” is in the index where the word “homework” is referred to as “home tasks” or “home assignments.” This is a deliberate attempt to differentiate effort in learning from effort in employment.

The entire epilogue of my education book, Discipline without Stress, is about how business is so different from learning … >>>

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Rewards, Employment, and Responsibility

On August 2, 2013 / Effectiveness, Learning, Responsibility

I was asked, “Why do adults work?”

The inquirer continued, “If not primarily for monetary reasons! We have a need and work is a means to achieve that end. Yes, there may be other drives but financial gain is the primary one. Why isn’t it the same with children? Find something else that motivates the child. I simply don’t believe that appealing to a 6-year-old’s sense of ‘what’s right’ will do the job. This might seem jaded but I’ve tested both ways and I see what works.”

The following was my response:

If a youngster likes chocolate, for example, and if receiving the reward is contingent on performing the requirement, then of course this incentive works. If the youngster, on … >>>

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Can Positivity Lead to Long Term Success?

On August 1, 2013 / Effectiveness

Research has shown that optimism, whether “natural” or “learned,” results in better health. People who are optimistic have a better handle on dealing with their emotions, which has an impact on the immune system, heart, and other body functions.

Positivity brings hope, which is a cousin of optimism. A series of tests on hope was given at the University of Kansas, and results were compared to the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) scores, which are supposed to determine success as a college freshman. It was found that the test scores on hope were better predictors of success than the SAT scores.

Hope and optimism are learned. They are teachable. A starting point is always to ask yourself, “How can I say … >>>

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A Positive Approach to Improving Effectiveness

On July 31, 2013 / Effectiveness, Parenting

To change behavior of a young person, a positive approach always beats a negative approach. The way to accomplish this is to treat the youngster as if the person were already what you want the person to become. Perhaps Johann Wolfgang von Goethe articulated it best when he wrote,

If you treat someone as he is, he will stay as he is.

But if you treat him as if he were what he could and ought to be,

he will become what he could and ought to be.

If you have a daughter who is shy, rather than sending messages of her difficulties, treat her as if she were verbal, popular, and socially confident. This does not mean not to … >>>

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Benefits of the Raise Responsibility System

On July 30, 2013 / Effectiveness, Learning

Practitioners of the Raise Responsibility System move into a stress reducing mode, and young people become more responsible because:

The youngster self-evaluates
The youngster acknowledges inappropriate behavior
The youngster takes ownership
The youngster develops a plan
The youngster develops a procedure to implement the plan

The system is so effective because:

Positivity is a more constructive teacher than negativity.
Choice empowers.
Self-evaluation is essential for lasting improvement.
People choose their own behaviors.
Self-correction is the most effective approach for changing behavior.
Acting responsibly is the most satisfying of rewards.
Growth is greater when authority is used without punishment.

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Discipline Yourself to Ask Two Questions

On July 29, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

When you meet a new person, discipline yourself to ask two questions. Here is the background that led me to this conclusion and the specific questions.

KFWB was the radio station I listened to most often when I was growing up in Hollywood, California. Al Jarvis was the disk jockey, and he would very often say, “It’s the little things in life that mean the most to all of us.”

I have so often wondered at the truth of this wisdom. Our feelings are affected by so many small experiences that we have a tendency to think about most often. A small gesture on our part can make a lasting effect. For example, when one person welcomes the “newbie” as … >>>

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A Discipline Problem: Overdue Library Books

On July 26, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

The school librarian sent out overdue library notices on three different colors of paper in an attempt to retrieve books. The first color was a notice that the book was overdue. The second colored notice announced that a book was really late and that the next notice would be a detention. The third was a notice that the book was three weeks overdue and that the student had to serve a detention.

The librarian was sending out more than 200 notices each week. The process had turned into a bit of a joke with students who realized that the first two notices really didn’t count.

Using the Discipline Without Stress approach, the librarian sent the following notice the next … >>>

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The Theory Behind Discipline Without Stress (DWS)

On July 25, 2013 / Discipline

“Discipline Without Stress” has two fundamental characteristics. The first is that stress—oftentimes associated with discipline—is significantly reduced. The second is that external manipulators, such as rewards for appropriate behavior, are not used because they are counterproductive to promoting responsibility.

Punishments—be they referred to as logical or natural—are based on the theory that the person needs to be harmed to be taught, to be hurt in order to learn. Therefore, imposed punishments are not used. Instead, procedures or consequences are elicited because they are much more effective in changing behaviors.

The site shows how to promote responsible behavior by using 21st century approaches espoused by such authorities as Stephen Covey, W. Edwards Deming, and William Glasser. … >>>

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Why Rewards for Homework Don’t Work

On July 25, 2013 / Learning, Responsibility

Here’s yet another example of why rewarding children for doing something that’s expected of them is counterproductive.

I was talking with a 7-year-old girl who is about to enter the second grade about her experience in the previous grade. She explained to me that every night the first grade students had a short book to read for homework. The procedure was that they had to bring the book home, read it, complete a short worksheet about what they read, and return both the book and the completed worksheet to class the next day.

She, however, often forgot to take her book home, forgot to read it, forgot to fill out the worksheet, or forgot to bring both items back to … >>>

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Using the Levels of Development with Very Young People

On July 24, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness, Levels of Development

The Levels of Development uses just four (4) concepts, or vocabulary terms, to describe two unacceptable behaviors (Level A and Level B) and two other terms to describe the concepts of external motivation (Level C) and internal motivation (Level D). The use of these terms leads to improved self-discipline.

Some primary teachers feel uncomfortable using the terms associated with unacceptable behaviors—anarchy and bullying. Rather than ignoring these negative concepts, young people are empowered when they can identify, articulate, and resist them.

The way to learn a concept is to have a way to describe it. This is the reason that one of the most fundamental approaches to … >>>

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What Teachers Can Do to Keep Kids in School

On July 23, 2013 / Relationships

As much as we wish learning were the major attraction for students in attending school, during the adolescent years we find that relationships are often the major motivational factor. Kids want to be with other kids. When a student lacks a sense of belonging, when the student feels anonymous or isolated, motivation for school attendance is diminished. In fact, one main reason why students drop out of school is lack of friendship.

Teachers can address this issue by planning activities where students spend some time interacting and getting to know each other. This can be accomplished in any classroom in just a few minutes. Students share their interests, hobbies, experiences, and things they are proud of with a partner. Some … >>>

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A Democratic Classroom Is An Oxymoron

On July 22, 2013 / Learning

Teachers have a responsibility to teach in a way that students learn. If students do not learn what has been taught, then the teaching is simply entertainment.

I often read the term “democratic classroom.” Democracy, by definition, means that the authority rests with the people. But this is not the situation in a classroom. Authority always rests with the person responsible for the teaching and learning—the teacher. Successful teachers engage students in activities and involve them in the process, but the teacher always retains responsibility.

Democracy does not mean running a class in a democratic fashion. A teacher does not run a democracy. A teacher runs a classroom.… >>>

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A Significant Question for Effectiveness

On July 20, 2013 / Effectiveness

Our thoughts automatically become attuned to that which is presented to us. For example, the mother asks her son whether he would prefer peas or carrots. The youngster likes neither choice. However, there is a natural tendency to choose from these restricted options.

Other options exist, and they will be discovered if the simple question is asked, “Are there any other choices?”

… >>>

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