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Teacher Training and Discipline

On June 26, 2013 / Discipline, Learning

A prime thrust of teacher training programs should be teaching what to do when a new teacher first enters the classroom.

Teaching is the only profession that does not train its practitioners to do what is necessary when they first enter the profession. In the case of teaching, this means entering the classroom and immediately getting the respect of their students; creating a climate of trust so they will not be harmed physically, emotionally, or psychologically; and creating an atmosphere where students want to be.

A recent report by the National Council on Teacher Quality in their recent study, “Teacher Prep Review 2103 Report,” indicated that teaching how to create … >>>

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How Discipline Without Stress Is Unique

On June 26, 2013 / Discipline, Learning

The “Discipline Without Stress” (DWS) System is the only discipline and learning system that is totally noncoercive. This does not mean it is permissive. When disruptive discipline problems occurs, authority is used—but not coercion.

Notice that the term, “system,” is used. See the Discipline Without Stress Teaching model. The approach is proactive, which is Stephen Covey’s first habit of highly effective people. A hierarchy is taught at the outset to prompt students to reach the highest level.

Desire, caring, integrity, kindness, generosity, perseverance, and responsibility cannot be mandated. These qualities can only be taken, not given by an external agent. The system creates desire so young people want to be responsible, want to put forth … >>>

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A Critical Understanding for Successful Teaching

On June 25, 2013 / Learning

Successful teaching requires an understanding of curriculum, instruction, classroom management, and discipline. For example, classroom management and discipline are distinctly different topics. When they are lumped together s if they were synonymous, this lack of understanding hinders success.

Curriculum refers to what is to be taught. The curriculum is determined by state departments of education, boards of education, the “federal agenda,” professional associations, the community—and, more recently, corporate performance accountability models for learning.

It is the teacher’s responsibility to make the curriculum relevant, interesting, meaningful, and/or enjoyable. A first step would be for the teacher to ask the question, “Why should my students be learning this?” Then inform the students.

Instruction has two components: (1) teaching and (2) learning.… >>>

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To Make Parenting Easier, Remove Assumptions

On June 25, 2013 / Effectiveness, Parenting

Some of the decisions we make as parents are based on inaccurate assumptions. We may know exactly what we are thinking and what we mean, but the child may have a completely different perspective. Consider these two examples:

A father is walking through the forest with his three-year old daughter. As they are walking, he repeatedly tells her to stay on the path. The little girl is walking all around. She looks at a tree, then a bush, and meanders here and there. The father continually says, “Stay on the path. I told you to stay on the path.” Eventually, he gets so angry with her that he pulls her over, shakes her a bit, and shouts, “I told you

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North Carolina and PBIS (Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports)

On June 24, 2013 / Discipline, Learning

The North Carolina Positive Behavioral Support Initiative is part of the North Carolina State Improvement Program funded through the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Although the initiative is aimed at helping individuals with disabilities, it is now mandated in many classrooms. In my last series of public seminars conducted in Phoenix, Denver, Billings, Portland, and Salt Lake City in April of 2013, almost every teacher in attendance indicated that PBIS was mandated.

The state’ mandate reads, “All schools in North Carolina will implement Positive Behavior Support as an effective and proactive process for improving social competence and academic achievement for all students.”

Here is an example from Carlette Jackson Hardin’s book, “Effective Classroom Management,” pages 142-143:

The … >>>

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Discipline and Theatre of the Mind

On June 24, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

The “theatre of the mind” is very successful for facilitating vivid mental pictures in many areas—including discipline.

This type of visual mental rehearsal has become a key strategy in the field of sports psychology. Rehearsing what one had previously visualized is not only stress-reducing, but it also significantly assists in focusing on the task at hand. This is the reason why so many professional athletes state that their success comes in large part from their ability to concentrate.

In relation to discipline, when young people focus on responsible behavior by visualizing appropriate behavior and rehearsing it in their “theatre of the mind,” they find it easier to manage irresponsible impulses and … >>>

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Discipline in South Africa

On June 23, 2013 / Discipline, Relationships

When I spoke in South Africa about Discipline Without Stress, I saw how the country was undergoing the most radical changes of any modern country.

The country’s political system and culture were moving away from complete separateness (apartheid) of its various groups of people to one of open democracy. The traditional African approach of dealing with discipline problems through consultation, bargaining, and resolving disputes through negotiation was quite refreshing. The approach of collaboration, rather than confrontation—even in handling discipline problems—appeared more effective, less coercive, and less stressful than confrontational approaches.… >>>

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Mindsets and Discipline

On June 22, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

How one views a situation has a significant effect on how one understands the situation. Our viewpoints are determined by our experiences and our thinking. This explains how different people can view the same discipline problem differently. We see through different lenses.

I attempted to explain this in the opening paragraph of my education book. Here is the opening paragraph:

“Life is a conversation. Interestingly, the most influential person we talk with all day is ourself, and what we tell ourself has a direct bearing on our behavior, our performance, and our influence on others. In fact, a good case can be made that our self-talk creates our reality.” After writing this, I became more acutely aware of my … >>>

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Aim for Clarification in Discipline Problems

On June 21, 2013 / Discipline, Relationships

You may be familiar with the children’s book, “The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs” “ by A. Wolf. The book, as the title indicates, explains the story from the viewpoint of the wolf. What does this have to do with discipline?

Understanding that everyone has a point of view can have a significant impact on solving discipline problems. The reason is that by listening to each person’s viewpoint—by wearing someone else’s moccasins—understanding increases and often reveals the reason for the discipline problem.

Reaching clarity is also the key to improving relationships. Optimal relationships—as well as resolving discipline and behavior problems—can often start with clarity because it leads to understanding of the other person’s reference frame. … >>>

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Discipline vs. Chaos in the Classroom

On June 21, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Disruptive discipline problems in public school classrooms are increasing across the country.

In St. Louis last week, a high school teacher and a 16-year-old girl created chaos in the classroom. The video showed the student standing up, cursing the teacher, and ready to leave the classroom. Apparently, the incident pushed the teacher over the edge, prompting him to be very abusive to the teenager.

There is no doubt that kids today are acting differently than they did a generation ago. We can easily articulate a number of factors as to why—but none will solve the problem.

In Los Angeles the school board recently passed a resolution amounting to giving students … >>>

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Motivating is a Better Discipline Strategy than Telling

On June 20, 2013 / Effectiveness, Responsibility

One of the traditional and ineffective discipline techniques is to lecture or tell a youngster what to do. Even though the intent of telling a child is worthwhile, the actual telling is perceived as an attempt to control. Telling creates defensiveness and a tendency to resist, and it does not engender desire. In other words, it does nothing to reduce discipline problems because it fails to motivate the child to want to change.

The only way that you can “motivate” another person—whether spouse or partner, child, friend, or employee—is to provide an environment by which that person wants to change. This is especially the case when it comes to a lasting change in behavior.

Reflect on the story that originated … >>>

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Discipline for Smart People

On June 19, 2013 / Discipline, Relationships

This site is often referred to as “discipline for smart people” because this type of person understands that no one can coerce another person into changing one’s mind and that the most effective approach for influencing a person to change behavior is to induce the person to influence her/himself.

The approach has two fundamental characteristics. The first is that stress—oftentimes associated with discipline—is significantly reduced. The second is that external manipulators, such as rewards for appropriate behavior, are not necessary because they are counterproductive to promoting responsibility. Similarly, threats and punishments are not necessary either. Imposed punishments are based on the theory that a person needs to be harmed to be taught—to be hurt in order to learn.

Most people … >>>

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How Discipline without Stress Differs from Other Discipline Approaches

On June 19, 2013 / Discipline

Here are four main differences between the Discipline without Stress Teaching Model and other approaches:

(1) The approach is proactive by teaching the Hierarchy of Social Development before problems occur. It implements Stephen Covey’s first habit of highly effective people. Other approaches are reactive in that the adult responds after disruptive behavior or discipline problems occur.

(2) Consequences are elicited, rather than imposed. Many approaches refer to “logical” or “natural” consequences. They are both are imposed. Discipline without Stress does not use them. Anything that is imposed lacks ownership—an essential characteristic for long-term change. Eliciting a consequence or a procedure is much more effective than any imposed discipline approach.

(3) Emphasis … >>>

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How Kinesics Affects Discipline

On June 18, 2013 / Effectiveness, Relationships

When you’re communicating with a youngster, especially when in a discipline situation, how you ask reflective questions as well as your tone of voice are important. But did you know that your kinesics are equally vital?

What is kinesics and how does it affect discipline and communication? Basically, kinesics is non-verbal body language. It’s all the gestures, facial expressions, movements, and posture you use while you communicate.

If you are checking for understanding with a frowning face, arms folded, body stiff, and eyes glaring while asking, “What level is that?” you are sending a very clear coercive message. However, if you ask the same question with a slight smile, arm extended with the palm up, body slightly forward, and eyes … >>>

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A Powerful Phrase for Effectiveness

On June 17, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Some people’s ego deprives them of the benefit that comes from one of the most powerful approaches ever devised: asking for help.

We see this play out every day, such as when someone refuses to ask for directions, fails to accept assistance on a project, or prefers to struggle through a situation alone.

One of the most powerful phrases in all of life is “I wonder if you could help me with something….” This phrase breaks down barriers. In sales, it turns icy gatekeepers into warm and friendly allies. It turns busy and mighty executives into unhurried conversationalists happy to share their secrets and contacts.

Why does such a simple phrase … >>>

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Positivity Wins a Softball Game

On June 14, 2013 / Effectiveness

Ron Karr is the incoming president of the National Speakers Association (2013-2014). He related the following story to me that involved his daughter, Amanda, whose softball team had a very unsatisfying experience.

Amanda and her team were playing for the league championship. The team lost 18 to 0.

The following year, the team again went to the finals, only to meet the same rivals that had devastated them the previous year. The team’s coach knew that Ron was a motivational speaker and asked him to say a few words of inspiration to the team before the game started.

Ron’s charge to the players was to think of what they wanted, … >>>

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Tired of Discipline? Give the Raise Responsibility System a Try

On June 13, 2013 / Effectiveness, Responsibility

Parents often ask me what the Raise Responsibility System is all about. While this website has much information about the system, here are a few key points to help explain it:

As the name states, the Raise Responsibility System aims at promoting responsibility. This is in contrast to approaches that aim at fostering obedience. When parents aim toward obedience with young people today, they often get resistance, resentment, and even rebellion. The result is stress for both parent and child. As children grow, the more we try to force obedience the more they resist. However, when responsibility is promoted, obedience becomes a natural by-product.

The Raise Responsibility System is proactive rather than reactive. Instead of waiting until an

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

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