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STRESS MANAGEMENT for Living, Teaching, & Parenting

Stress Management

Enhance Your Life to Manage Stress

On March 22, 2018 / Stress Management

How did Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived Nazi death camps, manage stress?

Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and holocaust survivor, explained managing his stress while in a Nazi death camp in “Man’s Search for Meaning,” one of the most influential books of all time. In it he emphasized the importance of making meaning for one’s life.

Here is an example from a classic tale about having meaning in your life, which has a direct effect on how you manage stress.

A man was walking down the street when he came upon three workers at a construction site. All of them were doing the same job. He asked the first worker what he was doing. The worker replied, “Breaking up these rocks.” … >>>

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Collaboration Reduces Stress

On March 15, 2018 / Stress Management

If you want to reduce stress in relationships, focus on collaboration rather than domination.

Dominating another person may feel good, but think of the effect it has on the other person—as well as on yourself. Just as no one likes to be told what to do, no one likes to be dominated. In addition, domination is a close cousin of stress because it raises a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol.

In contrast to dominating someone, when you aim at collaboration, stress is reduced and relationships improve. A simple approach to begin the collaboration process is by asking the other person’s opinion. The technique is amazingly simple and so effective.

Another simple approach is to ask for the … >>>

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Driving License Renewal and Stress

On March 1, 2018 / Stress Management

Renewing a driver’s license can be stressful! When you need to renew your driving license, it’s smart to make an appointment ahead of time with your Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). At least this is the case in California, where I reside. Having an appointment will reduce your stress. But this is only the beginning of my experience, which I share with you for your benefit.

California and other states in the USA now offer two types of driver’s licenses: one for the state only and one that qualifies for federal identification—including airline security. Before you apply for a new driver’s license or for a license renewal, review this information to reduce your stress and frustration.

Assumptions Lead to Stress

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Feeling Stressed? Change Your Perception

On January 18, 2018 / Effectiveness, Stress Management

How many times have you blamed an event or person for your negative reaction? If you’re like most people, it has happened often. Everything from traffic jams, to comments made by others, to sudden changes of plans can make people upset. But what if I told you that these events, no matter how bad you think they are, are not the cause of your stress?

Epictetus (A.D. 55-135) wrote: “It is not the event itself that is the problem; it is the perception of that event.” In other words, the things that happen to us aren’t problems; rather, it is our reaction to the events that determine whether we feel stress or not. This bit of information has made one … >>>

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How to Relax During Stressful Situations

On January 4, 2018 / Effectiveness, Stress Management

Trying to relax during a stressful situation can be a challenge. After all, it’s hard to relax when your mind is racing and when events are stressing you out. If you find taking a break to relax difficult when the pressure is on, consider the following approach.

During the last days of World War II, someone commented to President Harry Truman that he appeared to bear up under the stress and strain of the presidency better than any previous president, that the job did not appear to have aged him or sap his vitality, and that this was remarkable—especially in view of the many problems which he faced as a wartime president.

His response was, “I have a foxhole in … >>>

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Your Mindset and Stress

On December 14, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

If you feel that your life is stressful, you may need to alter your mindset.

The fact is that we all perceive life through filters developed from our temperament and experiences. Your mental set functions all the time, consciously or nonconsciously. Having a limited mental set hampers solutions to challenges, thus causing increased stress.

Therefore, a critical key to problem solving and stress reduction is expanding your mindset by cultivating an open questioning approach. Questions that engage your thoughts influence the quality of your life. By cultivating an open questioning state of mind, you broaden your universe and improve your ability to travel through it.

It’s easy to talk about having an open mind, but frequently mindsets are constrained by … >>>

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Stress and Student Performance

On November 22, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Schools and teachers are under a lot of pressure to meet standards. The pressure of taking standardized tests gets passed on to students.

Standardized tests can create crippling anxiety in students, and anxious kids perform below their true abilities. Students with test anxiety manage to get something down on paper, but their capacity to think clearly and solve problems accurately is reduced by their nervousness. This anxiety can expand to college admissions exams and lead to reduced motivation.

Even little kids aren’t immune to test anxiety. Researchers have seen evidence of it in students as young as first and second graders. Their worries tend to manifest in nonverbal signs such as stomach aces, difficulty sleeping, and a persistent urge to … >>>

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Know the Opportunity Costs to Reduce Stress

On November 16, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

One way to reduce stress is to realize that everything in life has a price. The key to reducing stress is knowing the price beforehand and being willing to pay the price.

I’m not talking about actual dollars and cents here. I’m talking about the emotional, mental, or physical costs for every action you take.

For example, at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, one of the world’s great technology universities, new students are asked to choose two from the following: friends, grades, or sleep.

The point, of course, is that one cannot have all three.

The concept that “everything has a price” is similar to “opportunity costs” that economists use. For example, if you watch a television program, rather than … >>>

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Take a Break from Your Stress

On October 26, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

We can all benefit from taking an occasional break from our daily stress. Think about how much stress you are carrying around every day. While stress is inevitable in today’s world, how much you carry with you, and for how long, can have significant negative effects on your health.

I once heard the following analogy, which really put this topic in perspective.

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question: “Half empty or half full?”

She fooled them all. “How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a smile. Answers ranged from 8 … >>>

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Self-Acceptance Reduces Stress

On October 5, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Many people struggle with self-acceptance. In other words, too many people are searching for acceptance outside of themselves when they haven’t yet learned to accept themselves. Self-acceptance means being okay with WHO you are. It means being kind to yourself even when you make mistakes, fail, or do something that you later regret. When you practice self-acceptance, you reduce your stress level greatly.

Self-acceptance is a close relative to self-esteem. It is difficult to have one without the other, and, if you have one, you will tend to have the other. There may be many reasons why people have low self-acceptance, but most fall into one or more the following areas:

A desire to be perfect
A focus on imperfections

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Happiness Should Be a High Priority

On September 21, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Happiness should be a high priority in your life. You even have a responsibility to yourself to participate in those activities that bring you satisfaction leading to your own happiness.

Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Some authors on the subject of happiness even go so far as asserting that people have a moral obligation to be happy. The reason is rather obvious. Happy people do far more good than unhappy people. When you are happy, you have a positive effect on people. When you are unhappy, you also influence—but in a negative way.

Reflect on what life has given you. You will soon start to be grateful—and … >>>

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Creativity Reduces Stress

On August 24, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

I’ve long believed that creativity reduces stress. Turns out that I’m not the only one. Researchers have long been studying the connection between health and personality traits. Openness—which links to creativity and measures flexibility and willingness to entertain novel ideas—has emerged as a life-long protective factor. It seems that creativity reduces stress and keeps the brain healthy.

Of the personality traits, only creativity decreased mortality risk. One possible reason creativity is a protective of health is because it draws on a variety of neural networks within the brain.

Because the brain is the command center for all bodily functions, exercising it helps all systems to continue running smoothly. Keeping the brain healthy may be one of the most important aspects … >>>

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Having a Strategy Reduces Stress

On August 3, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

For many people, having a strategy reduces stress. In fact, people of all ages can operate more responsibly and reduce their stress level if they have a strategy.

Ask young people the following question: “If you wanted to be fully responsible right now, what would you be doing?” (This is a great question to ask yourself, too!)

In most cases, the answer will be readily apparent. This question prompts you to think in self-empowering ways. As a result, you’ll be motivated to act on the response.

Another strategy is to use sentence-completion exercises.

For example, just for a week begin the day by thinking of endings to each of the following sentences:

If I operate 5% more responsibly at home … >>>

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Student Stress and Hitting “the Wall”

On August 1, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

A reader asked me a question about student stress, referring to it as hitting “a wall” in learning. The person said: “On the surface, and without the benefit of knowing the author’s definition of this ‘wall,’ would you agree with this situation, especially regarding high school students today?”

Here is how I responded about student stress and “the wall”:

Yes. I have witnessed this from my experiences as a high school teacher, high school counselor, high school assistant principal, and high school principal.

As youngsters move up to higher grades, less emphasis is placed on learning skills and collaboration and more is placed on competition. We can see this in how teachers ask questions and the emphasis on grades. For … >>>

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Multitasking Causes Stress

On July 27, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

I’ve long asserted that multitasking causes stress. In fact, studies prove that effective multitasking is a myth. This is the reason that I continually refer to this activity as “switch-tasking,” rather than “multitasking.” The belief that engaging in multiple activities at once, such as texting while driving or conversing while typing, somehow allows us to concentrate on several things at once is simply not valid.

Today it is well accepted that attention is limited in capacity. The findings are clear: Our performance deteriorates drastically when we attempt to focus on more than one task at a time. And in the process, our stress level increases.

Traffic intersection violations are potentially hazardous events. There are a number of cases where a … >>>

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Personality and Stress Management

On July 25, 2017 / Blog, Relationships, Stress Management

One of the best stress management tips for parents and teachers is to understand how personality affects behavior. When you know this, you can better manage your relationships with your children and students, and thus reduce your stress.

In my all three of my books (available here), I lay out the personality styles of thinker, feeler, doer, and relater. An image of a directional scale will help you picture and remember the styles. Visualize a thinker in the north, a feeler in the south, a doer in the west, and a relater in the east. In short, a thinker (north) analyzes and can be described as someone who processes information using a great deal of thought. A feeler (south) … >>>

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A Stress Reduction Tip for Teachers

On July 13, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Teaching is one of the most satisfying yet stressful professions, which is why teachers often yearn for some solid stress reduction tips. A common classroom problem (and thus stressor) is when a student continually blurts out/or and argues with the teacher.

For any kind of impulsive behavior, the first course of action is always to try helping the impulsive student (such as one who keeps blurting out) by establishing a procedure that will help the student control impulses. Here is a real-life example of how this works.

Procedures Aid in Stress Reduction

A teacher I know helped a grade four student who continually disrupted the class by blurting out. Obviously having a student continually interrupt class is stressful. The teacher … >>>

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