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STRESS MANAGEMENT for Living, Teaching, & Parenting

Stress Management

An Easy Way to End Stressful Relationships

On July 11, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Are you tired of stressful relationships where you feel you are always nagging, threatening, or bribing the other person to do what needs to be done?

Social scientists have determined that people accept inner responsibility for their behavior and actions when they think they have CHOSEN to perform it in the absence of outside pressure, such as a large reward. In other words, while the incentive may get people to perform a certain action, it won’t get them to accept inner responsibility for the act. Consequently, they won’t feel COMMITTED to it.

The same is true of a strong threat; it may motivate immediate compliance, but it is unlikely to produce long-term commitment.

What Stressful Relationships Look Like

You may … >>>

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Live Without Stress Wins 2017 Eric Hoffer Award

On July 6, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

I am thrilled to announce that my new book, Live Without Stress: How to Enjoy the Journey, has won a 2017 Eric Hoffer Award.

The Eric Hoffer Award honors the memory of the great American philosopher Eric Hoffer by highlighting salient writing, as well as the independent spirit of small publishers. Since its inception, the Hoffer has become one of the largest international book awards for small, academic, and independent presses.

Following is the write-up, as published in the 2017 US Review of Books. Please note that the Eric Hoffer Award is judged by a separate panel, under direction of the Eric Hoffer Project, and is not influenced by The US Review of Books. They simply post … >>>

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Stress and Setbacks

On June 29, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

How do you respond to stress and setbacks? Do you dwell in the negative feelings for a while? Or do you bounce back to a positive state of mind relatively quickly?

Just as each person has a unique fingerprint and a unique face, each of us also has a unique emotional profile. And that emotional profile dictates how we handle stress and setbacks.

Even people who share similar backgrounds respond in dramatically different ways to the same stressful or negative experience. The coping responses differ in kind, intensity, and duration.

Emotions Play a Role in Stress and Setbacks

Neuroscientists are beginning to place human emotions on a par with cognition. In other words, as we change our thoughts, we can … >>>

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Stop the Stress of Being a Helicopter Parent

On June 20, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Can being a helicopter parent cause stress for the children being hovered over? According to researchers, the answer is yes. Helicopter parenting can cause anxiety and stress for both the parents and the children.

To help alleviate this stress, implement the following tips on how NOT to be a helicopter parent:

Have the mindset of raising young people to be secure yet empowered to have wings.

Realize that every time you do something that a young person can do, you are depriving that person of taking responsibility and developing positive self-esteem.

Understand that if you want a young person to be mature, you must ask yourself if what you are doing is in the young person’s best interest or is

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Your Words and Stress Management

On June 8, 2017 / Blog, Reduce Stress, Stress Management

The words you choose to think and say play a big role in stress management. That’s because language shapes thinking. And what you think dictates how you feel.

For example, saying, “I am angry,” communicates a state of being. And the more you say it, the angrier you will likely get. In contrast, as soon as you change the language to an action verb as in, “I am angering,” you immediately become aware you we have a choice. When you feel that you have a choice in a situation, you will feel less stress. Changing the adjective to a verb empowers you to choose your response to an emotion and aids in stress management.

Taking conscious control of your self-talk … >>>

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Stress Management Advice for New Teachers

On June 6, 2017 / Blog, Classroom Management, Stress Management

Stress management is key for all aspects of life. However, I find that new teachers feel an enormous amount of stress as they enter the profession. That’s why one of my overarching goals is to help teachers gain some stress management techniques that will make their new profession much more enjoyable.

The philosophy behind my book Discipline Without Stress includes three objectives: 1) Empower students by communicating to them in positive ways, 2) Reduce coercion by offering choices, and 3) Have them improve by asking reflective questions. This same message comes through in my other books, Parenting Without Stress and Live Without Stress.

Unfortunately, too many teachers—new and seasoned alike—do not realize that they are in the relationship, marketing, and … >>>

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Use Your Memories for Stress Management

On June 1, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

While we all have both good and bad experiences in our life, the fact is that your memories can play a big role in your stress management. Which memories are you allowing to replay in your mind? Are you focusing on the good memories or the unpleasant ones? While I’m certainly not suggesting that you try to erase your negative memories, you can use the power of positivity to lower your stress when recalling any memory.

Science tells us that our emotions engrave the brain with memories, but our emotions also distort it.

Memory is a three-stage process. The first is the actual experience—the original information. The second is the storage or consolidation of the information over many hours, days, … >>>

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Stop Being the Victim of Emotional Hijacking

On May 18, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Have you ever felt like you’ve been the victim of an emotional hijacking? In other words, have your emotions ever overridden your brain in a particular situation? Perhaps you acted from your emotions and later realized you could have handled the situation better.

The following story a reader sent me about her realization of her own emotional hijacking may ring true for you too:

“When I read your recommendations in handling discipline problems, I can agree. But when it comes to implementing them at the time of need, I find myself overcome with anger and forget your recommendations. In other words, theoretically, I agree with your recommendations of behavior but when it comes to practice I have to deal with … >>>

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Choose Positive Words

On May 16, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Positive words have a positive effect on your life. The fact is that the words you choose can help you win or lose. They can put you in a positive mood, or they can enable you to free fall into a downward spiral. Your words can make you feel empowered, or they can burden you with stress. In any case, you get to choose the words you think and say. That means you have total control over your outlook and stress load.

Here’s a simple example of how your words—even a single word—can promote a positive mindset and why positive words are always the best choice. Consider the following example that a 14-year-old student sent me:

“When I think of … >>>

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Stress Management is a Life Skill

On April 25, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Did you know that stress management is a life skill? Unfortunately, from my own research and the findings of others, it seems that the general public’s stress management IQ is painfully low. This is unfortunate because being able to manage stress is a key factor for a successful life.

Some experts suggest that a little stress is good, but high levels of stress are harmful to most people. Too much stress adversely affects health, mood, and productivity. Some people perform and feel better when faced with moderate levels of stress. And some people are able to perform well under highly stressful conditions (Olympic athletes). However, it is also possible to perform well when relaxed (masters of kung fu). In my … >>>

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Stop Being a Control Freak

On April 13, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Are you a control freak? Do you try to control people and events? If so, you’re not alone. But being a control freak is a source of considerable stress. So if you want to reduce the stress in your life, reduce what you try to control.

If you look around at your family, friends, and co-workers, you will see that the most successful people, the ones with the least amount of stress and the happiest, are the ones who don’t try to control anyone but themselves.

You will further realize that the people who are most miserable and have more stress are the ones who try to control others. Even if they have considerable power, the resistance promotes stress and … >>>

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Two Tips to Help You Sleep Better

On April 11, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

We all want to sleep better at night. But lack of sleep is real for many people and a key trigger for stress. In fact, sleep is one of the most frustrating activities in many people’s lives. As a result, sleep concerns have created huge industries for products and services.

Not getting enough sound sleep affects mood and has long-term health consequences. Chronic disruption of sleep patterns is strongly linked to cardiovascular disease and a number of other health issues including an increased risk of developing Type 2 diabetes; weakened immunity and an increased tendency to get sick; weakened cognitive function including memory, alertness, and decision-making; increased impulsiveness, risk-taking, and addictive behavior; eating more; and ingesting more unhealthy foods. So … >>>

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Beware the Power of Words

On April 6, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

The power of words may seem obvious but the fact is that most of us, most of the time, are not mindful of the effect of our words. We often choose our clothes more carefully then we choose our words. What we say—both to ourselves and to others—is critically related to the reduction of stress.

Here is an exercise to help you determine how much control you have over the language you use. For the next 24 hours, resist saying any unkind words about or to anybody—including yourself.

If you believe that you can do this, then a wonderful opportunity awaits you for improving relationships and for reducing future stress. However, if you believe the exercise is too … >>>

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Eliminate Negative Self-Talk

On March 30, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Negative self-talk comes naturally to make people. Unfortunately, negative self-talk creates a lot of unnecessary stress.

Our self-talk is filtered in response to both internal and external stimuli. Our thinking is internal, while stimuli to our senses are external. In other words, we are affected by what we see, what we hear, what we touch, what we taste, and what we smell. Just imagining something can prompt the same feeling as an actual event. The same goes with our self-talk.

Henry David Thoreau put it this way: “It’s not what you look at that matters. It’s what you see.” The important point here is that we can eliminate negative self-talk and develop positive self-talk just … >>>

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Hone Your Future Focus

On March 28, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Your future focus is important because what you focus on is what you become. Do you tend to focus on events from the past or on images of the future? One way to know for sure is to look at the words you continually say to yourself. If you find that you often use the word “should,” chances are you are focusing on the past.

Eliminate “should” from your self-talk immediately. In terms of self-talk, the word “should” has little or no constructive value. It usually pertains to the past—what should have been done or what should not have been done.

Realize that the past cannot be undone. It is silly to water last year’s flowers or events that no … >>>

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Exercise Reduces the Stress of Aging

On March 23, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Aging is inevitable, and for many people, a stressful process to deal with. But you can take steps to keep your mind and body healthy, which significantly reduces your stress levels. First and foremost, move every day and stay as strong as long as you can. The human body is designed for movement, and muscles are not meant to be inactive.

Just like any other muscle, your heart functions best when challenged. Walk, swim, jog, or use a treadmill, stair climbing machine, or some other weight-bearing movement in order to include moderate cardiovascular conditioning in your daily program. Aerobic exercise helps maintain a healthy weight, lowers blood pressure, and keeps the arteries more flexible. In addition, aerobic exercise is … >>>

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Stop Being a Perfectionist

On March 14, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Are you a perfectionist? Many people are. If you are one of them, it’s time to abandon your perfectionist nature now. While a goal of excellence, superior work, and outstanding work can all be achieved, perfectionism cannot. In fact, perfectionism, the striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high standards, is too often a burden that results in excessive stress.

Perfection is a goal that humans should not strive to achieve because it can prompt a crippling condition or an overly critical self-evaluation. Being a perfectionist prompts reluctance to admit mistakes and can be a major cause of creating stress.

Remember that failing is a natural outcome of trying, and it is a great teacher. That is, it can be if… >>>

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Visualization Exercises Lower Stress and Promote Success

On March 2, 2017 / Blog, Stress Management

Visualization exercises are powerful tools to help you lower your stress level and promote success. That’s because what the brain actually witnesses and what the brain imagines stimulate exactly the same areas of the brain.

Visualization exercise increases the probability of success because it is priming the neural circuits that will be used in the actual activity. This is the reason that visualization is an effective technique for success in any activity. And when you can imagine success in any endeavor, your stress related to the event decreases dramatically.

The Power of Visualization Exercises

James Nesmeth was an average golfer who shot in the 90’s. For seven years, however, he completely left the game; he did not touch a golf … >>>

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