Acknowledgments encourage and motivate. They serve to give recognition without the disadvantages of praise. Praise has a price. It implies a lack of acceptance and worth when the youth does not behave as the adult wishes. Using a phrase which starts with, “I like . . . .” encourages a young person to behave in order to please the adult. By contrast, acknowledgment simply affirms and fosters self-satisfaction. Notice the difference in the following examples, first of praise followed by acknowledgment. “I am so pleased with the way you treated your brother,” versus “You treated your brother with real consideration.” “I like the way you are working,” versus “Your working shows good effort.” “I’m so proud of you for your
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Imagine the teacher standing in front of the class and asking a question. Six to ten children strain in their seats and with their hands in the teachers face, eager to be called on and show how smart they are. Several others sit quietly with eyes averted, trying to become invisible. When the teacher calls on only one youngster, you can almost hear sounds of disappointment and can see looks of dismay on the faces of the eager students who missed a chance to get the teacher’s approval. You also see relief on the faces of the others who did not know the answer. The game is fiercely competitive and the stakes are high because the kids are competing for the
READ MORE >>> →While browsing through a thrift store, I picked up a book that a good friend had mentioned to me. Seeing it for sale at 50¢, I had no excuse not to pick it up. I’m so glad I did; it’s a great read! The Happiness Project describes the year-long program that author, Gretchen Rubin, designed for herself in an effort to become more appreciative of the good life she already had. To quote the book cover: At one point [Gretchen] realized that time was flashing by and and she wasn’t thinking enough about the things that really mattered. “I should have a happiness project,” she decided. She spent the next year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and
READ MORE >>> →Dr. Marshall recently brought teacher attention to a youtube lecture highlighting the third part of his Discipline without Stress Teaching Model, The Raise Responsibility System. As many university instructors do these days, Joe Jerles posted this classroom management lecture online so that his students could access his teaching easily and repeatedly for study purposes. He is teaching from the textbook, Effective Classroom Management by Carlette Jackson Hardin. Chapter 9 of the book deals specifically with Dr. Marshall’s Discipline without Stress approach. < Joe Jerles’ youtube presentation may also be of interest to those of you interested in learning more about the Discipline without Stress approach. Dr. Marshall points out a few things to notice while viewing the video: Even kindergarten students understand the vocabulary
READ MORE >>> →My blog of June 2, 2015 was on “Restorative Justice,” a discipline program being used by many urban schools because of the federal mandate to reduce the number of minority students being disciplined and suspended. I quote from an article about Restorative Justice: “The administration welcomes this ‘Lord of the Flies’ scenario.” Here is little background about the “Lord of the Flies,” the title of a book that the article refers to along with information about the author. William Golding was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1983 for his novels that “illuminate the human condition in the world of today.” He will probably be remembered primarily for his first novel, “Lord of the Flies,” a dark and disturbing
READ MORE >>> →We all want our children and students to achieve goals in school and in life. To help, many adults pressure children to do things (e.g. fill out that college application, do your homework, practice the piano, etc.). However, a better approach is to remove barriers to achieve goals rather than pressure people to achieve them. Adults resort to pressure because that’s typically what occurs in the work world. When leaders are not happy with people who report to them, they add pressure. But the really astute leaders know that instead of adding pressure, a more successful approach is to ask what are the barriers that are keeping people from doing their best. If you think back to some of your
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 15 Number 7
#2 William Golding and Lord of the Flies
#3 Dale Carnegie’s Advise
#8 From a High School Teacher
Positivity (conscious optimism) induces responsibility. For everyone, including children, a positive attitude begins between the ears. In fact, the most important thing people can control is their state of mind. A state of mind is something that one assumes. It cannot be purchased. It must be created. Therefore, thinking and acting responsibly (or irresponsibly) begins with how a person shapes their own thoughts and communicates with others. As leaders, teachers, and parents, we have an obligation to help young people shape and control their thoughts so that their impulses and tendency to blame and complain don’t control them. That’s when they will feel empowered to take responsibility for their actions and choices. What techniques have you used with children that
READ MORE >>> →No one likes to be told what to do. Think of a time when someone told you what to do or told you that you had to do something. Notice how it conjures up a negative emotion. I grew up with a friend who, when told what to do by a parent, would find an excuse not to do it. Even if it was something he wanted to do, such as going outside to play, he would find an excuse to stay indoors just because he was told. Depending upon the other person’s mental frame at the time, when we tell a person what to do—regardless of how admirable our intentions —the message is often perceived either as an attempt to control or as
READ MORE >>> →I’m a 9th grade high school teacher in Long Beach, California. Most of us grew up with the old “rules and consequences” model, so I naturally followed it when I became a teacher 21 years ago. I don’t know whether our culture changed, or the kids changed, or I changed. But apparently no one ever told my students that bad behavior should be punished. It’s like many of them are totally foreign to the concept. Why? I don’t know. But I was very tired of the stress that comes from running a coercive classroom. It was draining and depressing. Yet whenever the old “rewards and punishment” model seemed to be ineffective, I would double down on it. All I got
READ MORE >>> →Restorative Justice is a discipline program that is gaining support in urban schools across the nation. The reason it is gaining acceptance is that a disproportionate number of minority students are being punished for inappropriate and irresponsible school behaviors—and federal guidelines are attempting to reduce the problem. Although the approach has good intentions, significant problems have developed because teachers across the country are at their wit’s end to conduct their classes without an increasing number of disruptions. A prime reason is that students are not being held accountable for inappropriate behaviors. Restorative Justice can encourage misbehavior by lavishing attention on students for committing infractions. Where this approach has been tried, it has backfired. As a high school counselor in an urban high school
READ MORE >>> →We are all guilty of offering criticism to others, even if we disguise it as “constructive” criticism. But think about it: Why would people want to hear criticism from someone else? Criticism promotes negativity, rather than positivity. Criticism puts a person on the defensive and usually prompts the person to justify the actions. It is also dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, impinges on one’s sense of importance, and arouses resentment. Even B.F. Skinner proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of
READ MORE >>> →Classroom management procedures make instruction efficient. Here are some from the Discipline Without Stress Resource Guide: How to enter the classroom and then what to do (Students should always have something that raises curiosity, interest, or reinforces/reviews as soon they enter the classroom. Dead time is deadly time.) How to get attention and what students should do How to quiet the class when it gets too noisy How to take roll while students are occupied in learning How to handle lunch tickets What to do when the fire alarm sounds When and how to sharpen pencils What to do when it is necessary to use the restroom What to do when an assignment is finished early How to find directions for
READ MORE >>> →Positive Behavior Intervention and Support (PBIS) is based on external motivation. It asks adults to find some behavior that they wish young people to do and then rewards them for doing it. The theory is that, if a reward is given, the person will repeat what the addult desires. In essence, the purpose is to use rewards to control behavior. The concept of behaviorism originated with Ivan Pavlov and is referred to as classical conditioning. Ring a bell and give a dog food. Soon you can just ring a bell and the dog will salivate. Pavlov did not experiment with a cat. Cats are much more independent. B.F. Skinner, the famed former psychologist, used this approach to train pigeons and rodents and then extrapolated
READ MORE >>> →We’ve all heard the expression, “Practice makes perfect.” It’s something many teachers and parents have touted to children for decades. However, the problem with that thinking is that perfection is often not possible. And striving for something unattainable sets people up for failure. Of course, this does not mean we shouldn’t have high standards for ourselves and others. Therefore, think about it like this: Pursuing perfection focuses at looking for what’s WRONG. On the other hand, pursuing high standards and excellence focuses on what’s RIGHT. Most humans in most endeavors will fulfill their responsibilities more effectively when asked, “Are you satisfied with your work?” rather than “Is what you have done perfect?” So the next time you’re helping a child
READ MORE >>> →A little history about John Dewey, known for his approaches that promoted responsibility: Dewey died in 1957 at age 92 in New York City. At his death, he was one of America’s most influential philosophers and educational theorists. He taught for three years but struggled with the expectation that he should be a knuckle-rapping disciplinarian. After posts at the University of Michigan and the University of Chicago, he taught at Columbia University from 1904 to 1930. It was at Columbia where he became a major exponent of pragmatism and rejected authoritarian teaching methods. He espoused instructional approaches that built upon the interests of students and the challenge of solving real-life problems. Teaching today has an emphasis on correct answers. However, in
READ MORE >>> →Discipline is often confused with classroom management. Many textbooks used in teacher education courses discuss classroom management as if it were synonymous with classroom discipline. This confusion muddles understanding so much that the vast majority of new teachers walk into their classroom unprepared to that which is required of excellent teaching, namely, commend respect of their students and establish relationships so students WANT to do what the teacher wants them to do. Too many schools—especially urban ones—are having difficulty with discipline because teachers do not know how to use authority without coercion. The reason is that they are taught discipline approaches that do not work with today’s students. Coercion and aiming at obedience are counterproductive to motivating students and having them
READ MORE >>> →Social scientists have determined that teeagers accept responsibility for a behavior when they believe that they have chosen to perform it in the absence of outside pressures. Giving rewards for what you want is external pressure—really a bribe—because it is used to control. It may get teenagers to perform a certain action, but it won’t get them to except responsibility for the act. Consequently, they won’t feel committed to it. The same is true of a strong threat; it may motivate immediate compliance, but it is unlikely to produce long-term commitment. This has very important implications for rearing teenagers. It suggests that we should never bribe or threaten them to do the things we want them to believe in. Outside pressures will produce temporary compliance. However, if you want more
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