I had the honor of presenting the keynote at the International Character Education Conference in the newly dedicated Joan Kroc Institute for Peace and Justice at the University of San Diego. I shared with the attendees some Principles of Effective Character Education as I quoted from the CHARACTER EDUCATION PARTNERSHIP: Schools, ESPECIALLY IN THEIR APPROACH TO DISCIPLINE, SHOULD STRIVE TO DEVELOP INTRINSIC COMMITMENT TO CORE VALUES. They should MINIMIZE RELIANCE ON EXTRINSIC REWARDS and punishments that direct students’ attention away from the real reasons to behave responsibly: the rights and needs of self and others. More information on this topic is at the character education link.
READ MORE >>> →Without Stress Blog
Responsible people are happy people. Happy people are responsible people. Responsibility and happiness feed on each other.
READ MORE >>> →Dear Marv, Hello from Benchmark School in Phoenix, AZ. My name is Wendy Brady and you spoke at our school. I wanted to drop you a quick note about a compliment our 4th grade students received. We recently had a guest speaker come to visit our 4th grade. He was Wyatt Earp and he performed a monologue on Wyatt Earp’s life and experiences. After the performance, which took about one hour, Wyatt commented that in the past 3 years he had not come across a group of better-behaved school children. (He travels the world doing this show.) He was shocked at how well the students listened—no interruptions, respectful, etc. He told the teachers that he really enjoyed the experience because
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: This is an embarrassing situation for me. I have a strange problem with my son that I have never heard about before. He is fifteen years old and has been stealing my clothes or his sister's clothing and cutting them up into little pieces with scissors or cutting our underwear into a thong. We have had him seeing a psychiatric therapist for over a year, with no resolution to this problem. He seems to do this without any warning or reason. I can't link it to anger at us, although he may just not be expressing his anger. It seems like an act of anger. He doesn't talk or express his emotions much at all. I have required him
READ MORE >>> →The following is a summary of advice given to teachers who were about to take on an additional teaching role. They started to work with reluctant, apathetic, and disengaged adolescents in an alternative school. Patience is critical with these students, and building relationships is the ONLY way you will have success. These students trust no one, and it will take time for them to truly understand that you are concerned about them and their own best interests. Since success is built on success and not failure, compliment them on their successes. This will give them hope—the most essential ingredient for success and something they have had very little of. Be wary of using any of the seven “deadlies”: criticizing, blaming,
READ MORE >>> →Make it your habit not to be critical about small things in other people. More ideas on this topic are available at http://marvinmarshall.com.
READ MORE >>> →One of the great approaches to successful living is to develop the art of prompting positive mindsets. For example, suppose I lay a plank on the ground. Almost anyone could easily walk on the plank from one end to the other. But if I were to raise the plank 20 feet off the ground, how many people do you think would get across it without falling? I would guess quite a few people would fall off the plank. Why can people walk the plank when it’s on the ground but not while it’s elevated? A prime reason is that when the plank is on the ground, people imagine success. They believe and feel they can accomplish the task. Off the
READ MORE >>> →When dealing with others—regardless of age—here is an interesting question to ponder regarding behavior: “If everyone did it, what would happen?” More reflective questions are available at http://marvinmarshall.com.
READ MORE >>> →At the conclusion of the academic year in the U.S.A. and the start of summer vacation in many schools, it seems a proper time to review two significant characteristics of the approaches I recommend that are different from most others. CHARACTERISTIC I: ACTING REFLEXIVELY vs. ACTING REFLECTIVELY You are at home and the telephone rings. You answer it. Assume for a moment that you are NOT familiar with choice-response thinking. If I were to query you why you answered the phone, most would say—in one way or another—that the phone was a stimulus and answering it was the response. Now, let’s assume that you are at home watching a television program that you had been looking forward to seeing. You
READ MORE >>> →In June, 2002 I subscribed to your monthly online newsletter back when the circulation was just over 1800. Your newsletter quickly became a regular part of our staff meeting discussions. Teachers subscribed, and the way our classrooms and school worked together began to change as we embraced your work and implemented your ideas. At the start of 2005, I presented each of my teachers with their own copy of "Discipline without Stress, Punishments or Rewards" and regularly include tips from your "Tips for parents" in our school newsletters—all with positive feedback on how simple and effective your ideas are—without stress, punishments or rewards! Promoting responsibility, sending positive messages, offering choices, and encouraging reflection allows Upokongaro School to be truly learner
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: I am a first-year home schooling mom. I have a self-motivated third grade boy who also has Sensory Integration Disorder. I also have a fifth grade girl who struggles with staying focused and would rather read all day. My biggest struggle this year has been our morning routine. My daughter, who is very bright, has difficulty staying within the parameters of time set out for her. The routine set out is to be done in 1 1/2 hours. Many days this goes to two hours or more. Her routine is written out for her step by step and I feel that it is very realistic. My desire is to start school at 8:00 a.m., but this rarely happens for
READ MORE >>> →Asking, "Why?" is an INeffective question when it relates to behavior. For example, the answer to asking a young person, "Why are you doing that?" will prompt answers such as, "I don't know" or an excuse, such as, "I have ADD." In contrast, asking a student, "Why are you LEARNING that?" and receiving a similar response, "I don't know," is a reflection on the teacher, not on the student. Sharing the "why" for something you would like young people to learn is an extremely effective teaching technique for promoting learning and effort. It becomes "purpose driven," which, in turn, —prompts self motivation, —sustains that motivation, —diminishes resistance, and —enhances better decisions. When you reflect on this idea, you will quickly
READ MORE >>> →Saying, “I’m sorry,” or “I was wrong and you were right,” or “I screwed up” requires a certain amount of security and maturity. Such statements, said in sincerity, are very difficult for some people of the male gender to say. Yet, no other phrase (s) can do more to improve relationships. When we do not admit an error or a mistake, in a sense, it is a striving for perfection. In the book (pages 150-152) I refer to perfectionism as a burden that no human should ever carry. More information on this topic is available at http://marvinmarshall.com.
READ MORE >>> →At a conference of the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD), a high school principal commented to me as he pointed to hundreds of exhibits of books, technology, and teaching materials around the vast exhibit hall, "None of these address the first and most critical component of classroom teaching: CONNECTING!" ———– Gordon Neufeld, a Vancouver, Canada based clinical psychologist directly addresses this concept. He speaks about attachment and its necessity for young people to feel attached until they are able to function independently. Since attachment facilitates dependence, I prefer to use the term "connectedness." Dr. Neufeld cites an interesting procedure many teachers and parents use with young people. It's called "time-out." He makes the point that this approach sends
READ MORE >>> →“What Would Shaq Do?” is an outgrowth from a previous post. Bob Sullivan, who is consulting with an inner city school, applied the idea with a boy who was pushing in the cafeteria line. As the principal was then attending to other students, Bob began talking with the student—who has a difficult home life—and found out that he liked basketball and that Shaquille O’Neal was his favorite player. Later when teaching the staff about “Impulse Management” using the traffic signal poster, he used Shaq as a model to choose a good option when agitated. Shaquille O’Neal is a professional basketball player in a league that has the greatest athletes in the world. He is a big man, seven feet-one inch
READ MORE >>> →I received a communication from a school that was implementing my approach and queried about (1) the use of forms and (2) administrative back up. 1) Use of forms: I explained that when I first developed the Raise Responsibility System, I used the essay and self-diagnostic forms. I used the essay form to have a student reflect: (1) What did I do? (Acknowledgment), (2) What can I do to prevent it from happening again? (Choice), and (3) What will I do? (Commitment) (page 274 in the book) (Forms were never used in primary grades.) If misbehavior continued, then the Self-Diagnostic Referral would be used (page 275 or 276–depending upon the grade level). Every day was treated as a new day,
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 8 Number 5
#2 Substitute teachers
#3 Tag Questions
#6 Negative effects of BPIS
I received the following in a recent e-mail: “I am a principal of an educational program in a juvenile detention facility in Pittsburgh. I have read your book six times and I continue to learn more each time I read it. I also bought 15 copies for teachers to read. Your newsletters are also a great reminder of how to work positively with students. “Last year, I started a Choices program for those students with challenging behaviors. After developing the philosophy and procedures of the program, our program contracted with a behavioral specialist to be in charge of the Choices Room. “In the school, we use four levels of expectations that are color coded. Students are taught the expectations and
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