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Level D and Reflection

On December 7, 2010   /   Discipline  

In this season of gratitude and giving, I would like to share one of the many joys I received. (Warning: It  may be odoriferous.)

On the second day of  using  Raise Responsibility System, a miracle happened. The student who had driven me crazy all year chose to take a time out for reflection at his desk (instead of outside in the hall) after he farted five times in less than ten minutes during story time on the rug. Farting at will is one of his special talents. I explained that if he chose to sit at his desk, he would still have to allow the rest of us to concentrate. He agreed.

When after two minutes he began belching … >>>

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Reducing Perfectionism Part III of III

On December 1, 2010   /   Learning  

REDUCING PERFECTIONISM (Conclusion)

Have the student choose two activities and anticipate the length of time he anticipates each activity will take. Then, set a timer.  Let him know that he has enough control over himself to stop the first activity and start on the second. When the anticipated time for the first activity has expired, have him start on the second. At the end of the allotted time for the second activity, have him visit the first activity and determine how much more time still would be necessary for it to be of QUALITY  work. The process is repeated for the other activity.

Next assignment: Have him outline a typical day in 15 minute blocks. After reviewing it, make the … >>>

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Reducing Perfectionism Part II of III

On November 30, 2010   /   Learning  

REDUCING PERFECTIONISM (Continued)

Give the student an assignment. Have him explain the following aphorism, “You cannot be perfect and learn at the same time.”

A few examples may help. (1) Have him assume that he is playing the piano and makes a false note. Ask him if he will conclude that he has no musical talent? (2) Have him assume he is playing baseball and strikes out. Ask him if he will assume that he has no athletic skills? (3) Have him assume that he misspells a word on a spelling test. Ask him if he will assume he has no writing skills?

Let him know that PERFECTIONISM is a burden no one is strong enough to carry without permanent … >>>

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Reducing Perfectionism Part I

On November 29, 2010   /   Learning  

QUESTION:

I stumbled upon an article entitled, “Reducing Perfectionism,” and it was enlightening. I am a principal of two rural buildings and I often direct my teachers to articles and readings that will promote success in the classroom.

I was wondering if you had any ideas or strategies for a child we would like to help. His teacher is frustrated because he takes so very long to complete his work. He is very neat, precise and there is no issue with his learning. He is successful, but his tendency is to be perfect. It must look right, by his perception, before moving on; it’s this moving on that we need to trigger. I am open to any strategies that may … >>>

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Impulse Control and Reflective Questions

On November 26, 2010   /   Discipline  

QUESTION:

I’d appreciate your advice on handling a few children who persist in behaving at Level B, even after I have “checked for understanding” and have proceeded with “guided choices.”

Today I told one of my students who hit another child, “I want you to stay in our classroom, but if you act on Level B again, you are telling me that you want to keep on making your own rules for the class.”

RESPONSE:

Next time, ASK the student if he would like to stay in the classroom. Then ASK him on what level he would need to behave to remain in the class.

Follow this up by ASKING him what he will do when he gets the same … >>>

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Crucial Questions

On November 24, 2010   /   Relationships  

In August 1986, Lee Iacocca, then President of Chrysler, addressed the company’s car dealers at their annual convention held that year in Atlantic City, NJ.

Iacocca’s message was to tell his dealers how they could increase their business in the next year. To succeed, he said, “All you have to do is memorize four words. Here they are: ‘Make someone like you.'”

Jim Cathcart’s book, “Relationship Selling,” was a forerunner and still a best seller on the importance of this concept. You see, even the slowest salesperson realizes that you can’t make the customer angry and sell him something at the same time.

Here are some questions to ponder in your relationships with others:

If I were a child, would … >>>

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Looking for the Gold

On November 23, 2010   /   Effectiveness  

The following is one of my favorite stories in my parenting book in the chapter describing the practice of positivity.

Andrew Carnegie, the first great industrialist in America, at one point had 43 millionaires working for him. A reporter asked him how he hired all of those millionaires. His answer was that none of them were millionaires when he hired them.

The reporter inquired, “Then what did you do to develop them so they became millionaires?”

Carnegie responded that you develop people the same way you mine gold.

He said, “You go into a gold mine and you expect to remove tons of dirt to find an ounce of gold. But you don’t go into the mine looking for the … >>>

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An Empowering Story

On November 18, 2010   /   Responsibility  

The old story told of a banker who often dropped a coin in a beggar’s cup bears repeating.

Unlike most people, the banker would insist on getting one of the pencils the beggar had with him. The banker would say, “You are a merchant, and I always expect to receive good value from the merchants with whom I do business.”

That daily routine went on for some time, but one day the poor street beggar was gone. Time passed, and the banker forgot about him.

Years later the banker walked by a little store, and there was the former beggar, now a shopkeeper. The shopkeeper said, “I always hoped you might come by some day. You are largely responsible for … >>>

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Globalization and the English Language

On November 17, 2010   /   Learning  

In our shrinking world of globalization and problems associated with different languages, the European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications—rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English.

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c.” Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard “c” will be replased with “k.” Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be … >>>

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Empowerment Brings Effectiveness for Parents and Teachers

On November 15, 2010   /   Effectiveness  

QUESTION:

I hope you can help me with my strong-willed daughter. She is very bright and got herself into some difficulties by not wanting to obey her first grade teacher.

RESPONSE:

Explain to the teacher that your daughter is extremely independent and that the teacher will have more success—and reduce stress on everyone’s part—if the teacher aims at EMPOWERING your daughter, instead of overpowering her in attempts to get her to obey.

Encourage the teacher to talk in positive terms and use a phrase such as, “I know you can do this because I have seen how capable you are.”

If you daughter is empowered, obedience will follow as a natural by-product.… >>>

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Permission to Use My Discipline and Parenting Approach

On November 12, 2010   /   Discipline  

QUESTION:

Marv, the counselors at my school have requested time at their counselors meeting next month to present something about your Raise Responsibility System. They have been in my presentations and are implementing it this year in their counseling sessions with the classes. They are VERY excited about it and have already realized success. They are meeting with me to discuss their presentation.

I have requested that they wait until I have contacted you to find out what you want presented. I explained that I had received permission to present here in our school. However, I do not think it is fair to you for them to try to teach what they are doing with it in their classrooms … >>>

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Parents and Willow Trees

On November 11, 2010   /   Relationships  

Parents and others working with young people may want to consider the willow tree.

The willow tree bends with the wind; it is flexible and flowing. The oak tree is rigid, hard, stiff, and inflexible.

During a storm, the willow stays intact while the oak looses branches.

This is an important concept in life—especially regarding relationships. Being rigid and inflexible seldom brings about optimal results for all concerned.… >>>

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Viewing Problems As Challenges

On November 9, 2010   /   Effectiveness  

The late Norman Vincent Peale once said, “There is only one group of people who do not have problems, and they are all dead. Problems are a sign of life, so the more problems you have, the more alive you are.”

Although a tongue-in-cheek philosophy of life, there is some truth to this pronouncement. Some people have relationship problems, others financial, some career, others health, some social, others business. No one is immune to problems in life.

Problems are not positive or negative. In a sense they are neutral depending upon how you choose to see them and your responses to them. Epictetus made the point more than 2,000 years ago: “People are disturbed not by events but by their … >>>

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The 15-Minute Rule

On November 8, 2010   /   Effectiveness  

She was a vibrant picture of health and an inspiring speaker. The audience was stunned to see a slide of her when she was morbidly obese. She had lost 125 pounds and spoke about how diet and exercise saved her life.

The question was asked what she did when she wanted to go off her diet and when she didn’t feel like exercising.

She described her 15-Minute Rule. She explained that when she had a craving for something that she knew she shouldn’t eat, she told herself, “I CAN eat that, but I will wait 15 minutes.”

Invariably something happened in those 15 minutes that got her mind off food. She would make a phone call, check her e-mail, write … >>>

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Using a Discipline System to Improve Academic Achievement

On November 5, 2010   /   Learning  

“For those teachers and school leaders who want to get serious about improving student achievement, this book will be very helpful. Its attention to classroom management skills, motivating students, and establishing a positive relationship with students are key ingredients to ensuring that students aspire to great things starting with academic accomplishment.”

—Gordon Cawelti, Educational Research Service and Former Executive Director,
Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD)

A descriptive table of contents, three selected sections, and additional items of interest are posted online.

Any school in the United States can receive the book at no charge for each teacher by completing the application.… >>>

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Rewards and the Raise Responsibility System

On November 4, 2010   /   Discipline  

QUESTION:

I recently read your education book and I plan to try the approach with my 3rd graders.

Previously, I taught 6th grade and used an assertive discipline system. I teach in a Success for All school which requires teachers to award team points for appropriate behavior. Students are rewarded based on the number of points their team earns each week. How do you think the Raise Responsibility System will work if I have to give rewards for expected behaviors?

RESPONSE:

First, a comment about assertive discipline: As you may have discovered, a fundamental characteristic of this coercive approach is to overpower when a student does not obey. The RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM is 180 degrees in the opposite … >>>

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The Hawthorne Effect

On November 3, 2010   /   Relationships  

The idea of communicating a caring interest to those with whom we work—as parents, teachers, administrators, or leaders—was first documented in a classic study on human relations and is known as the “Hawthorne Effect.” It emanated from a study that took place in the late 1920’s at Western Electric’s Hawthorne plant near Chicago.

Researchers went into the factory to see if, by increasing room lighting for a group of employees, the productivity would increase. Improvements did indeed seem to boost worker output. But much to their surprise, when the researchers analyzed a comparable group with no change in the lighting, their productivity also improved.

Further study and analysis of this puzzling result showed that productivity increased because the workers were … >>>

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Refelction, the Key to Influence and Successful Parenting

On November 2, 2010   /   Effectiveness  

A key strategy to parenting and influencing others is to be a good listener.

But there is a paradox to this skill because in order to have influence with another, the influencer has to be open to being influenced. Simply stated, the more a person is open to others, the greater is the ability to influence. This may seem a paradox, but if you understand this paradox, you can be more effective in influencing others.

Here is the point: Listening can also refer to oneself. Warren Buffett, the ace stock picker and empire builder, gives credit to his partner, Charlie Munger, for the Orangutan Theory:

“If a smart person goes into a room with an orangutan and explains whatever his … >>>

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