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Getting Started with DWS

On July 1, 2008   /   Discipline  

Posts at the mailring:

QUESTION:
I received my "Discipline Without Stress" book and started introducing the levels and changing my behaviors. My question is how do I set everything up for the beginning of the year? What do I communicate to parents? I have to turn in a class discipline plan to my principal. What would it look like on paper? I usually send this same plan home to parents. Before I have always had the standard (1) warning, (2) 5 minutes time out, (3) 15-minute time out, (4) note home, and (5) trip to office. Very concrete, easy for principal and parents to understand, but it did not work.

RESPONSE:
The book has excellent forms in the back that … >>>

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Differences in Teaching Reading – Young vs. Older

On June 30, 2008   /   Learning  

: If you deal with young people at all, make time to read the following in its entirety. It is only slightly edited from the original post/
———–
ORIGINAL POST QUESTION: You work with older alternative students as well as with young children. Can you explain the difference between working with them?
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RESPONSE:
I’d love to tell you a bit about the new job that Darlene and I took on. Although in this particular job we make great use of the three principles of positivity, choice, reflection, we aren’t using the program to handle discipline problems in the same way as we do with our primary students. I’ll have to describe the job, the students, and the school to … >>>

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Behavior and Happiness

On June 27, 2008   /   Effectiveness  

Responsible people are happy people.
Happy people are responsible people.
Responsibility and happiness feed on each other.

Dr. Jim Sutton expanded on this concept when he wrote in his blog:

Dr. Marvin Marshall (www.marvinmarshall.com), my friend in California and founder of the acclaimed “Discipline Without Stress” ‘program, suggests young people sometimes misbehave for two clear and addressable reasons:
1. They are unhappy.
2. Their behavior is their attempt to “fix” the problem.

We best not lose the message of these two statements in their simplicity. They come very, very close to saying all we need to know about behavior in children and adolescents. Unfortunately, it is often the case that we consider neither of these reasons in working … >>>

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Bullying and Friendship

On June 26, 2008   /   Responsibility  

Dad, can I speak to you about something?” asked Tom.

“Let me guess. You want to borrow the car?” his dad joked.

“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s about Jim and something that happened at school today.”

“Isn’t Jim that kid on the track team with you?”

“Yeah.”

“You two are pretty good friends, aren’t you?”

“Well, that’s what I want to talk to you about. You see, there’s another guy on the team named Eric who got into a fight with Jim after practice. I tried to break it up, but the coach pulled all three of us aside. I told the coach that I was only trying to keep the peace, but then I defended Jim.”

Suddenly Tom … >>>

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William Glasser – Some Ideas

On June 25, 2008   /   Effectiveness  

I had the pleasure of presenting at the William Glasser Institute’s International Convention in Jersey City, New Jersey.

Dr. Glasser is a psychiatrist whose first contribution was REALITY THERAPY, one of the earliest of what is now referred to as “cognitive psychology.” He then started working with schools and made perhaps his most significant contribution to the field of education when he introduced CLASSROOM MEETINGS. He then extended his ideas by developing “CHOICE THEORY” (originally referred to as “Control Theory), which basically proposes that all we can do is control ourselves by the choices we make. From W.Edwards Deming, Dr. Glasser introduced “LEAD MANAGEMENT” (vs. “Boss Management”). His current thrust is to bring achieving MENTAL HEALTH to the general public.… >>>

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The Levels of Development-What to Refer to?

On June 24, 2008   /   Discipline  

I was asked what sets my discipline approach apart from others. Without hesitation, I said, “The leve and self-monitoring.”

The next question came, “Whose hierarchy?”

I responded, “Mine.”

“Do you refer to it as ‘My Hierarchy’ and, if not, what do you call it?”

I responded, “The Levels of Development.”

The conversation concluded with the question, “Since it is
YOUR hierarchy, then why don’t you call it the ‘Marshall
Hierarchy’?”

I pondered the question and concluded that when I refer to other hierarchies, I refer to them preceded by the name associated with each, viz., Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, Jean Piaget’s hierarchy of cognitive development, and Lawrence Kohlberg’s hierarchy of moral development.

Perhaps reference to the Marvin Marshall … >>>

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The William Glasser Institute

On June 23, 2008   /   Effectiveness  

Here is an interesting e-mail I received that deserves sharing:

I teach in a school in Sydney, Australia. I recently did a course in Choice Theory and saw your book at the course. Having read it, I decided I would try to implement your ideas. I was also curious to find out more and discovered your site when I did a search. Although I am still a novice, I can say that your system does work, and for the first time this year one of my most difficult classes has finally settled down and there is real learning happening.

Mersina

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Note: “Choice Theory” is a registered trademark of the William Glasser Institute. It is the basis for training in … >>>

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DWS Helps Students

On June 20, 2008   /   Discipline  

Discipline Without Stress (DWS) uses no coercion of any kind. This does not mean that the approach is permissive, “soft,” or lacks authority. The message is that, one way or another, DWS will help young people help themselves to become more responsible, more successful, and more pleased with themselves.

IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR IS AN INDICATION OF NOT BEING HAPPY.

Irresponsible behavior is also an indication of not feeling successful. POOR BEHAVIOR IS AN ATTEMPT TO SATISFY A PROBLEM. The DWS approachis is o help the student using the Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model.
… >>>

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Working with Challenging Students

On June 19, 2008   /   Discipline  

QUESTION:

I believe in the Discipline Wihout Stress approach, but what should I do with the students who prompt me to yearn for that ditch digging job that I hated as a kid?

RESPONSE:

1. Revisit the impulse management link. You may even want to copy and learn the dialog. Continue to repeat the mantra, “Do you want to remain a victim?” If the procedure established was not effective, then repeat the conversation, “Let’s try another procedure so that you will not continue to be a victim of your impulses.”

2. Re-read “Solving Circles” on pages 156-157 in the book. Select that student as one of the participants and yourself as the other.

3. Ask for help. Even … >>>

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Learning and Turtles

On June 18, 2008   /   Learning  

When turtles are born, they know everything they need to know to live for 50 or so years. Since learning is one of the joys of living, I don't think turtles have very much fun.

Learning brings growth, and both the process and result of learning can be enjoyable. Watch anyone at any age who is involved in any mental activity for any length of time and ask the person the reason for the involvement. The response will inevitably include the fun factor.

A characteristic of successful leaders, teachers, and parents is that they make learning enjoyable; they make it fun.

On the other hand, think of someone who has given up learning because, like the turtle, the person already … >>>

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Caring and Listening

On June 17, 2008   /   Relationships  

If you ask yourself how you know someone cares for you, one of your responses is likely to be that you know because the person listens to you.

Ask a husband about a good wife, and he is likely to say that he knows his wife cares for him because she listens to what he has to say. Ask a wife about a good husband, and she’ll respond that he listens to her.

When the parent says, “It’s about time you started listening to me,” the youngster may be thinking, “It’s about time you started listening to me.”

Even if we are saying something that is not really worth listening to, we still want someone to listen to us.

Ask … >>>

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Habits for Effectiveness

On June 16, 2008   /   Effectiveness  

I had the distinct pleasure of celebrating and speaking with Emery Stoops, a former professor of mine at the University of Southern California, who celebrated the 103rd anniversary of his birth.

Phi Delta Kappa International republished his “Psychology of Success: Develop Your Hidden Powers,” which they first published in 1983 when Emery was a youthful 86.

Here is a checklist from the book that Dr. Stoops entitled, “GRADE YOUR HABITS.” His page is divided into columns—the first is the habit and the second gives the reader an opportunity to self-grade: F, D, C, B, A.

Here are the habits:
1. Starting early
2. Enjoying your work
3. Believing in your ability
4. Scheduling time and place for work at home… >>>

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Vocabulary and Character Development

On June 13, 2008   /   Responsibility  

Until the 1960’s, school books were replete with vocabulary words like integrity, industry, work, diligence, perseverance, self-reliance, self-examination, honesty, character, and responsibility. There was a glorification of hard work and an emphasis on education and self-discipline.

Assuming that textbooks have an influence on curriculum and instruction and that they, therefore, have an effect on children’s behavior and character, perhaps it is time to re-examine the contents of our school books as well as the vocabulary we use.

In his classic book, “1984,” George Orwell demonstrated the power of words with the example of the term “freedom.” If there were no such term, how would the concept be imagined, envisioned, and communicated? When we use the word in conversations with the … >>>

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Character and the Virtue Project

On June 12, 2008   /   Responsibility  

Kerry Weisner, the writer of Discipline Answers, notes that the only thing that she has often seen schools do with the Virtue Project that would not fit with the Discipline Without Stress approach is rewarding students for displaying various virtues—in other words, using the old “catch them being good” behaviour modification ploy.

As an example, I have noticed many schools offer raffle tickets to students who display kindness during “Kindness Month” or who are helpful during “Helpfulness Month,” thereby unwittingly encouraging operation on Level C. To me, it seems that such schools are missing out on a wonderful opportunity to help young people become aware of the benefits of operating on the highest level of all—Level D—the level at … >>>

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Character Education and Intrinsic Motivation

On June 11, 2008   /   Responsibility  

I had the honor of presenting the keynote at the International Character Education Conference in the newly dedicated Joan Kroc Institute for Peace and Justice at the University of San Diego.

I shared with the attendees some Principles of Effective Character Education as I quoted from the CHARACTER EDUCATION PARTNERSHIP:

Schools, ESPECIALLY IN THEIR APPROACH TO DISCIPLINE, SHOULD STRIVE TO DEVELOP INTRINSIC COMMITMENT TO CORE VALUES. They should MINIMIZE RELIANCE ON EXTRINSIC REWARDS and punishments that direct students’ attention away from the real reasons to behave responsibly: the rights and needs of self and others.

More information on this topic is at the character education link. … >>>

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Level D and A Guest Performer

On June 9, 2008   /   Responsibility  

Dear Marv,

Hello from Benchmark School in Phoenix, AZ.

My name is Wendy Brady and you spoke at our school. I wanted to drop you a quick note about a compliment our 4th grade students received.

We recently had a guest speaker come to visit our 4th grade. He was Wyatt Earp and he performed a monologue on Wyatt Earp’s life and experiences.

After the performance, which took about one hour, Wyatt commented that in the past 3 years he had not come across a group of better-behaved school children. (He travels the world doing this show.) He was shocked at how well the students listened—no interruptions, respectful, etc. He told the teachers that he really enjoyed the experience because … >>>

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Parent and Fifteen-Year-Old

On June 6, 2008   /   Discipline  

QUESTION:

This is an embarrassing situation for me. I have a strange problem with my son that I have never heard about before. He is fifteen years old and has been stealing my clothes or his sister's clothing and cutting them up into little pieces with scissors or cutting our underwear into a thong. We have had him seeing a psychiatric therapist for over a year, with no resolution to this problem. He seems to do this without any warning or reason. I can't link it to anger at us, although he may just not be expressing his anger. It seems like an act of anger. He doesn't talk or express his emotions much at all.

I have required him … >>>

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