Blog

Discouraged Adolescents

On June 5, 2008   /   Learning  

The following is a summary of advice given to teachers who were about to take on an additional teaching role. They started to work with reluctant, apathetic, and disengaged adolescents in an alternative school.

Patience is critical with these students, and building relationships is the ONLY way you will have success. These students trust no one, and it will take time for them to truly understand that you are concerned about them and their own best interests.

Since success is built on success and not failure, compliment them on their successes. This will give them hope—the most essential ingredient for success and something they have had very little of.

Be wary of using any of the seven “deadlies”: criticizing, blaming, … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top
Back to Top

Positive Mindsets

On June 3, 2008   /   Effectiveness  

One of the great approaches to successful living is to develop the art of prompting positive mindsets.

For example, suppose I lay a plank on the ground. Almost anyone could easily walk on the plank from one end to the other. But if I were to raise the plank 20 feet off the ground, how many people do you think would get across it without falling? I would guess quite a few people would fall off the plank.

Why can people walk the plank when it’s on the ground but not while it’s elevated? A prime reason is that when the plank is on the ground, people imagine success. They believe and feel they can accomplish the task. Off the … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top
Back to Top

Two Fundamental Thoughts

On May 30, 2008   /   Learning  

At the conclusion of the academic year in the U.S.A. and the start of summer vacation in many schools, it seems a proper time to review two significant characteristics of the approaches I recommend that are different from most others.

CHARACTERISTIC I:
ACTING REFLEXIVELY vs. ACTING REFLECTIVELY

You are at home and the telephone rings. You answer it. Assume for a moment that you are NOT familiar with choice-response thinking. If I were to query you why you answered the phone, most would say—in one way or another—that the phone was a stimulus and answering it was the response.

Now, let’s assume that you are at home watching a television program that you had been looking forward to seeing. You … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

A Letter from New Zealand

On May 29, 2008   /   Discipline  

In June, 2002 I subscribed to your monthly online newsletter back when the circulation was just over 1800. Your newsletter quickly became a regular part of our staff meeting discussions. Teachers subscribed, and the way our classrooms and school worked together began to change as we embraced your work and implemented your ideas.

At the start of 2005, I presented each of my teachers with their own copy of "Discipline without Stress, Punishments or Rewards" and regularly include tips from your "Tips for parents" in our school newsletters—all with positive feedback on how simple and effective your ideas are—without stress, punishments or rewards!

Promoting responsibility, sending positive messages, offering choices, and encouraging reflection allows Upokongaro School to be truly learner … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Eliciting A Procedure

On May 28, 2008   /   Discipline  

QUESTION:

I am a first-year home schooling mom. I have a self-motivated third grade boy who also has Sensory Integration Disorder. I also have a fifth grade girl who struggles with staying focused and would rather read all day.

My biggest struggle this year has been our morning routine. My daughter, who is very bright, has difficulty staying within the parameters of time set out for her. The routine set out is to be done in 1 1/2 hours. Many days this goes to two hours or more.

Her routine is written out for her step by step and I feel that it is very realistic. My desire is to start school at 8:00 a.m., but this rarely happens for … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

About the Question “Why?”

On May 27, 2008   /   Learning  

Asking, "Why?" is an INeffective question when it relates to behavior.

For example, the answer to asking a young person, "Why are you doing that?" will prompt answers such as, "I don't know" or an excuse, such as, "I have ADD."

In contrast, asking a student, "Why are you LEARNING that?" and receiving a similar response, "I don't know," is a reflection on the teacher, not on the student.

Sharing the "why" for something you would like young people to learn is an extremely effective teaching technique for promoting learning and effort. It becomes "purpose driven," which, in turn,
—prompts self motivation,
—sustains that motivation,
—diminishes resistance, and
—enhances better decisions.

When you reflect on this idea, you will quickly … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Saying, “I’m Sorry”

On May 26, 2008   /   Relationships  

Saying, “I’m sorry,” or “I was wrong and you were right,” or “I screwed up” requires a certain amount of security and maturity. Such statements, said in sincerity, are very difficult for some people of the male gender to say. Yet, no other phrase (s) can do more to improve relationships.

When we do not admit an error or a mistake, in a sense, it is a striving for perfection. In the book (pages 150-152) I refer to perfectionism as a burden that no human should ever carry.

More information on this topic is available at http://marvinmarshall.com.… >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Attachment/Connectedness

On May 23, 2008   /   Effectiveness  

At a conference of the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD), a high school principal commented to me as he pointed to hundreds of exhibits of books, technology, and teaching materials around the vast exhibit hall, "None of these address the first and most critical component of classroom teaching: CONNECTING!"
———–
Gordon Neufeld, a Vancouver, Canada based clinical psychologist directly addresses this concept. He speaks about attachment and its necessity for young people to feel attached until they are able to function independently.

Since attachment facilitates dependence, I prefer to use the term "connectedness."

Dr. Neufeld cites an interesting procedure many teachers and parents use with young people. It's called "time-out." He makes the point that this approach sends … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

What Would Shaq Do?

On May 22, 2008   /   Learning  

“What Would Shaq Do?” is an outgrowth from a previous post. Bob Sullivan, who is consulting with an inner city school, applied the idea with a boy who was pushing in the cafeteria line. As the principal was then attending to other students, Bob began talking with the student—who has a difficult home life—and found out that he liked basketball and that Shaquille O’Neal was his favorite player.

Later when teaching the staff about “Impulse Management” using the traffic signal poster, he used Shaq as a model to choose a good option when agitated.

Shaquille O’Neal is a professional basketball player in a league that has the greatest athletes in the world. He is a big man, seven feet-one inch … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Forms and Administrative Backing

On May 19, 2008   /   Discipline  

I received a communication from a school that was implementing my approach and queried about (1) the use of forms and (2) administrative back up.

1) Use of forms:

I explained that when I first developed the Raise Responsibility System, I used the essay and self-diagnostic forms.

I used the essay form to have a student reflect:
(1) What did I do? (Acknowledgment),
(2) What can I do to prevent it from happening again? (Choice), and
(3) What will I do? (Commitment) (page 274 in the book)
(Forms were never used in primary grades.)

If misbehavior continued, then the Self-Diagnostic Referral would be used
(page 275 or 276–depending upon the grade level).

Every day was treated as a new … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Using A Choice Room for Reflection

On May 13, 2008   /   Responsibility  

I received the following in a recent e-mail:

“I am a principal of an educational program in a juvenile detention facility in Pittsburgh. I have read your book six times and I continue to learn more each time I read it. I also bought 15 copies for teachers to read. Your newsletters are also a great reminder of how to work positively with students.

“Last year, I started a Choices program for those students with challenging behaviors. After developing the philosophy and procedures of the program, our program contracted with a behavioral specialist to be in charge of the Choices Room.

“In the school, we use four levels of expectations that are color coded. Students are taught the expectations and … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Starting Discipline Without Stress

On May 12, 2008   /   Discipline  

Our faculty is “on board” and we have purchased your book for nearly all of them. I also have joined the DisciplineWithoutStress Mailring and found it a wonderful resource as well.

Some teachers are experiencing a loss of comfort level when first starting. Any suggestions?

RESPONSE:

Anything new is different and has an effect on one’s feeling and comfort. Most adults naturally prefer something with which they are comfortable rather than doing something in a different way. Anything new to adults feels odd at first—until new neural connections become well established.

People who use the approach of being positive (instead of being negative negative), offering choices (instead of attempting to dominate), and asking reflective questions (rather than telling) soon discover … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top
Back to Top

Marketing Oneself

On May 8, 2008   /   Relationships  

People don't buy from someone they don't like—at least not in the long run.

In a sense, leaders, teachers, and parents all market.

Leaders market vision and empowerment, teachers market information, and parents market their role-modeling.

Every so often, it pays to reflect on whether you are marketing yourself as you desire.

More information on this topic is available at http://marvinmarshall.com.… >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Discipline Without Stress in China

On May 7, 2008   /   Discipline  

This post was prompted by a message from Leo, a teacher in China.

In an attempt to spread Discipline Without Stress and share success, Leo requested that we post a comment on his blog (weblog).

He wrote, “I would like to share my blog. It is a very new and raw site, mostly about Discipline Without Stress experience here in China. I also have some pics of my classroom and my students there. If you are interested in how I use Discipline Without Stress in my 90-students classroom, check it out.

“I would really appreciate it if you could leave a comment there. I need your encouragements and believe it is one of best ways to let more people in … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Positivity & Changing Procedures

On May 6, 2008   /   Responsibility  

The following is from a mailring post at the mailring by Kerry Weisner of British Columbia who partners as a primary teacher and also teaches at-risk high school students. Although the post is in reference to Kerry’s primary classroom, THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE MESSAGE IS APPLICABLE AT ALL GRADE LEVELS AND TO YOUTH OF ALL AGES. (The post is slightly edited for conciseness.)
———-
“We recently had a problem. A change in the school schedule led to a situation where our students had much less adult supervision at noon hour eating time than had been customary. Many students began to misbehave. We were really angry. Our first reaction was to jump to eliciting consequences. In giving it more thought though, … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top