My passion is to foster responsibility. In my seminars and in my books on education and on parenting, I refer to victimhood thinking and how to teach young people to be VICTORS—rather than victims. With this in mind, let me share an e-mail I received from my sister-in-law, Bobbie Marshall: "Let's see if I understand how America works lately. 'If a woman burns her thighs from the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company. If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain, you blam the school for poor sex education. 'If
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A few comments by the renowned educator about the education book : “The strategies that Dr. Marshall describes for developing humane, responsive, and responsible classrooms are grounded in research AND good practice. They link classroom management concerns to the more fundamental issues of how teachers can create powerful curriculum, teaching, learning, and lasting motivation. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to create a ‘right to learn’ in all classrooms.” —Linda Darling-Hammond, Ed.D., Professor of Education, Stanford University, Author of THE RIGHT TO LEARN, and Director, National Commission on Teaching and America’s Future
READ MORE >>> →Years ago my family and I took the cog railway up to Pike’s Peak, just outside of Colorado Springs, Colorado. Cartographers named the peak after Zebulon Pike, who first reported the 14,110 foot peak in 1806. The view of the majestic purple mountain range was so inspiring that I easily understood why the view prompted a Massachusetts teacher to compose a poem. Since the singing of its first stanza has recently resounded across the nation, you may enjoy the poem written by Katherine Lee Bates in its entirety. Notice that the second verse is about self-control, a key factor in both national and individual responsible behaviors. AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL by Katharine Lee Bates O beautiful for spacious skies For amber
READ MORE >>> →I have a few questions. 1.) The school I work in is very entrenched in the idea that discipline EQUALS punishment. The students buy into this idea in that they seem to depend on punitive reactions from their teachers and parents. Teaching students what you expect seems not enough. How does one help the child to move from being punishment-minded to being self-motivated? 2.) I have read several books that work with similar ideas to yours. "Without Boundaries" by Janet Wood, "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff, and materials on Taking Children Seriously (an educational/parenting/human relations theory). They make a great deal of sense to me, but I am at a loss as to how to implement this kind of teaching of right/wrong, appropriate/ inappropriate behavior to the youngest of
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 10 Number 4
#3 Daniel Pink on motivation
#4 Relationships and feelings
#7 Discipline and autonomous behavior
I was brought up on a principle my mother instilled in me, namely, "If you can't say something nice about a person, then do not say anything at all." In other words, refrain from negativism. The advice of my mother found itself the bedrock of my first principle to reduce stress: POSITIVITY. I now think of it whenever something negative pops into my head or if I am about to say something that can be interpreted in a negative way. I immediately ask myself, "How can I say that in positive way?" In building and improving relationships, its opposite—negativity—is the biggest enemy. You do not want it in your mind. You do not want it in your house. You do not want it in your environment. You do not
READ MORE >>> →Instead of thinking of the right thing to say, think of a reflective question to ask. The sooner you inculcate the mode of asking reflective questions—instead of telling—the less stressful it will be for you, and the more successful you will become. Reflective questions prompt evaluation of the person’s own behavior. An example to a young person is, “In the long run, is what you are doing in your own best interests?” If the question is evaded, ask a second time. Follow up with another question that stimulates thinking such as, “If what you are doing is not getting you what you want, what could you do differently?” If he says he doesn’t know, then you could ask, “What would an extraordinary person do in this
READ MORE >>> →At a meeting of representatives from the schools, a very interesting comment was made. A representative said that her school did not have major discipline problems. The concern of the school had to do with the social skills and responsibility that students would carry with them when they left the school, i.e., the influence the school would have on them in the future. The comment struck a very tender spot with me—one that brought to mind how I got started and why I am doing what I do. I returned to the classroom after 24 years in school counseling, supervision, and administration—looking forward to the joy of once again working with young people. The prime factor that struck me more than any other in my observation of students was that
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: I am writing to you because I had a problem with a parent today and I really need some advice. One of my students behaves like a bully, hits his classmates and threatens to hit them outside the classroom. He pushes them or he sometimes makes them stumble. Today he used vulgarity. I decided to send a note to his parents, and asked the student to write the following: "Dear Mom and Dad, Today I told a classmate to 'Kiss my ass.'" He once told me that his mother never punished him or paid any attention to him. When his mother read the note, she became outraged and decided to come and talk to me. She was quite rude and almost insulted me but I remained
READ MORE >>> →Other Thoughts Relating to Discipline The ultimate use of power should be to empower others. That’s what our constitution is about. What we accomplish by threats and coercion must be maintained by force. What we accomplish by guiding and caring is self-propelling. Real power consists in creating a situation where coercion need not be exercised. —William Glasser, M.D. In all my experiences, I have never seen lasting solutions to problems, lasting happiness and success, that came from the outside in. —Stephen Covey, Ph.D.
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: Can you give me an easy way to explain to someone the difference between punishment and discipline? RESPONSE: PUNISHMENT is what is done TO a person. DISCIPLINE is what is done FOR and WITH a person. ———- COMMENTS FROM OTHERS: "Discipline is understood in a very limited way by most educators—How do we get these children to behave?—rather than How do we support the people in our charge as they learn to channel and direct their positive energy in ways that accomplish their goals and those of their community?" —Dr. Richard E. Clark, Chair Department of Educational Psychology, University of Southern California "To many people, discipline means punishment. But, actually, to discipline means to teach. Rather than punishment, discipline should be a positive way of helping and
READ MORE >>> →You can still get in the last word: Apologize. Thanks to Gene Griessman aka Abraham Lincoln.
READ MORE >>> →Here is a list of picture books to introduce the four levels of the Hierarchy of Social Development. The bold books with the asterisk (*) are the ones I used when I developed and taught the levels. Level A Books – Anarchy (not acceptable level) *Miss Nelson Is Missing by Harry Allard and James Marshall Mean Soup, by Betsy Everitt Roses Are Pink, Your Feet Really Stink, by Diane deGroat Miss Nelson is Missing, by Harry Allard We Share Everything, by Robert Munsch Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse, by Kevin Henkes When Sophie Gets Angry Really Really Angry, by Molly G. Bang Level B Books – Bullying and Bothering (not acceptable level) *The Three Little Pigs by James Marshall Crickwing, by Janell Cannon Recess
READ MORE >>> →QUESTION: Do you feel I can implement this successfully with 5th graders or is it geared more to the lower grades? RESPONSE: DWS is very effective with grade fives! Dr. Marshall first developed this approach for middle and high school students. It’s since been adapted for use with younger students in intermediate and primary grades––although the only real adaptations are in terms of vocabulary. At every grade level the teacher explains the same four levels, but chooses words that are suited to the age and ability of their particular students. Choosing appropriate vocabulary to explain DWS concepts would be much like what teachers would naturally do when students learn about any new or challenging topic. For instance, students of any
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 10 Number 3
#3 Effectiveness and Habits of the Mind
#5 Learning and reflection
#6 Parenting and the 7 deadly sins
Effective people persist. They don’t give up easily. Persistence accounts for much of achievement. A major quality that classifies people as gifted is that they stick to a task. What is it that allows a person to persevere? According to Art Costa of the Institute for Habits of the Mind, they have a repertoire. These people have many different ways to solve a problem. If you only have one way to solve a problem and if you try it and if it doesn’t work, you will have a tendency to give up. But people who persist will try a plan, and if that approach doesn’t work, they go to another plan. If that one doesn’t work, they create another and continue to search until they are satisfied. Having a repertoire of
READ MORE >>> →As creatures of habit, we find new ways more difficult simply because they are different. Yet, to keep pace with our changing and technological times I often find that I need to let go of what seems most familiar and reach out if I am going to stay current. I am using my past experiences more as a guidepost than as a hitching post. I think the greatest compliment one can give an individual in our changing world is that he or she is a student of something and constantly seeks to learn and grow. I view learning as a responsibility I have for myself. Perhaps the statement of the dear old gentleman in his late eighties best captures my thinking. He said, “Whatever
READ MORE >>> →A young man on vacation was staring at the calm, blue sea thinking about lunch. A small boat laden with a large Yellowfin tuna docked near the pretty Mexican village. A lone fisherman jumped ashore. “That’s a great catch,” said the tourist. “How long did it take you?” “Not so long,” said the fisherman. “Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” “This one’s enough to keep my family provided for,” came the response. “What do you do with the rest of your time?” inquired the visitor. “I sleep late, I fish a little, I play with my children, then I have lunch, and take a siesta with my wife. We stroll into the village every evening. We sip wine, listen to the guitar players, and I play
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