A friend was visiting us with his wife and four-year-old and six-month-old sons. As they were about to leave, the four-year-old jumped onto the driver’s seat of the van. The mother mentioned what a challenge young Adam is becoming and mentioned that trying to get him out of the driver’s seat will be a real chore. I suggested to her that every time she tried to make him do something or stop doing something, he would resist and that her most successful approach would be one that did not involve coercion. I suggested that every time she tells him to do something, he will interpret it as an attempt to control him and that she will be creating a challenge
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As the years quickly pass, the tendency to make New Year resolutions decreases. However, I encourage you to make at least two resolutions—even if you do not implement them. The reason is that resolutions carry an inference that you can change. This can be extended to thoughts of having control in how one reacts to situations in life—that one need not be a victim. Resolutions bring a sense of empowerment, that you are the master of your life. The last two lines of “Invictus” by William Henley embrace this concept: I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. Here are a few which may prompt one for you: Before going to sleep each night,
READ MORE >>> →“With thirteen years experience as a secondary principal and over twenty years in education, I couldn’t agree more that coercion is a faulty approach in working with students. Dr. Marshall’s Discipline Without Stress is what students need to take control of their lives and will instill in them the skills to be happy, productive citizens. Personally, I believe his presentation to our staff was one of the best I have seen in twenty years.” Kent Bunderson, Principal Vernal Junior High Vernal, Utah
READ MORE >>> →An example of how one school implemented Discipline Without Stress is reproduced with the writer’s permission: Dear Dr. Marshall, I’m writing to let you know what a powerful influence your work has had on our school community. After reading your article, “Using a Discipline System to Promote Learning,” in the March 2004 Phi Delta Kappan, our staff had a strong reaction. Many of us immediately identified with your struggle to maintain discipline and to find a way to do so that was not punitive but increased student learning opportunities and responsibility. A committee formed and met over the summer of 2004. Their hard work resulted in a small group of teachers piloting your approach during the 2004-2005 school year. As
READ MORE >>> →Rather than working solely in isolation, learning and working communities collaborate. Here is a simple technique any teacher, principal, parent, or leader can implement. Have people volunteer to relate something that SOMEONE ELSE has done successfully. Then decide on how often this activity should be conducted, such as weekly or monthly. A collaborative spirit grows by having others share incidents of someone other than him/herself. Examples of incidents could be helping someone, using a new procedure, or sharing a successful technique. Rather than the usual approach of the leader or a committee recognizing one person above the others each week, month, or year, sharing activities or incidents empowers the community without the negative "punished by rewards" syndrome created when a
READ MORE >>> →Classifications help us to clarify thinking and communications. We often hear reference to left and right brain hemisphericity, personality types, learning styles, and various intelligences. Yet, the MOST FUNDAMENTAL classification dealing with fellow humans has to do with the emotional part of our brain and its influence on cognition. The fight, flight, or freeze syndrome originating deep in the amygdala of the brain affects decisions we make. In dealing with others, it prompts a mix of emotion and cognition. It instinctively translates into classifications, such as friend or foe? Are you likeable? and Am I willing to be influenced by you? One approach for gaining rapport with others relies on the awareness of this phenomenon. We can discipline our thinking
READ MORE >>> →Here are two statements from a most interesting book entitled, “BLINK – The Power of Thinking Without Thinking,” by Malcolm Gladwell. 1) “. . . the information on our face is not just a signal of what is going on in our mind. In a certain sense it IS what is going on inside our mind.” . . . . “We discovered that the expression alone is sufficient to create marked changes in the autonomic nervous system.” (Page 206) 2) “I began to listen with my eyes, and there is no way that your eyes don’t affect your judgment.” (page 251) Unless a person is autistic (cannot differentiate objects from the emotional expressions of people), the person looking at you
READ MORE >>> →Pursuing perfection focuses at looking for what’s WRONG. On the other hand, pursuing high standards and excellence focuses on what’s RIGHT. Most humans in most endeavors will fulfill their responsibilities more effectively when asked, “Are you satisfied with your work?” rather than “Is what you have done perfect?”
READ MORE >>> →Jamie Turner of Fair Haven, New Jersey, forwarded me information about her school’s website. I share it with you below. SICKLES SCHOOL RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM What is the Raise Responsibility System? Marvin Marshall’s Raise Responsibility System was designed in order to promote responsible behavior within the school community. This simple system focuses on promoting the internalization of responsibility rather than on only promoting external obedience. The foundation of this system is the Hierarchy of Social Development, which supports students in learning how to make responsible choices. Why are we implementing this system? As a teaching and learning community, there was a consensus among our staff that we needed to find a better way to help students make independent choices in
READ MORE >>> →“I am teaching a graduate course in social studies. I have experienced teachers and they are loving your book – absolutely loving it. Of course, with grad students the perspective is different. They know a truly good thing when they see it when it comes to practical ideas in the classroom. You can’t fool them.” Dr. Suzie McBride California State Polytechnic University San Luis Obispo, California
READ MORE >>> →The following is from a communication to me about self-discipline: I added "Bugging" and "Breaks classroom procedures" to Level B. I also added "A piling on" to Level A because I use a football analogy. Some students choose to tease other students. This is hurtful behavior. I explain to my students that in order to learn, they must: 1) follow classroom procedures and 2) meet behavior standards. I use the levels to teach the importance of establishing a procedure each morning to get to school on time. I give an alarm clock analogy: —Level D – You set your alarm clock, wake up, and get to school on time. —Level C – You depend on your parents to wake you
READ MORE >>> →The young boy was to start kindergarten the next day and was protesting that he would not go. This could be a real discipline challenge. A normal reaction would have been to banish the youngster to his room and tell him that he had better make up his mind to go because he had no choice. (Note: the youngster may have had no choice as to the decision but certainly had a choice as to how he could respond to it.) Rather than taking this approach, the father reflected, "If I were my son, why would I be excited to go to kindergarten?" The father and his wife made a list of all the fun things the child would do—such
READ MORE >>> →Assume everything you say about another person can be overheard by that person.
READ MORE >>> →The most effective approach to influence others is to consider what they want. For example, one day Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son tried to get a calf into a barn. Unfortunately, they made the common mistake of thinking of only what they wanted. Emerson pushed and his son pulled, but the calf was doing just what they were doing. It was thinking only of what it wanted, so it stiffened its legs and stubbornly refused to leave the pasture. The housemaid saw their predicament. Although she couldn’t write essays and books, on this occasion she had more horse sense, or calf sense, than Emerson had. She thought of what the calf wanted, so she put her maternal finger in
READ MORE >>> →The following is from a personal communication from Nancy Snow, District Guidance Officer, Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia: “Choice is the basic ingredient for the promotion of prosocial values. If we want kids to be caring, kind, and generous, we have to have them become aware of choices. You cannot mandate responsibility, persistence, consideration, honesty, or integrity. These values are chosen; therefore, the concept of choice is essential to the teaching and learning of values.” Young people will choose these values and become more self-disciplined when (1) positive benefits are explored, (2) they are prompted to reflect on their choices, and (3) influence—rather than coercion—is used.
READ MORE >>> →I had the pleasure of presenting in the Gold Coast, Sydney, Newcastle, and Adelaide, Australia hosted by Judy Hatswell, a senior faculty Member of the William Glasser Institute of Australia. While being hosted by Judy and her husband, Gerry, a retired school principal, I was admiring their various collections when I read a postcard sent to Judy by one of her clients. I share it with you: Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of traveling. The William Glasser approach of noncoercion and taking responsibility for one’s actions is growing in popularity across the country/continent. Partial credit toward a masters degree is being planned at the Gold Coast campus of Griffith University for those who have
READ MORE >>> →“This should be a required course of study in every collegiate education major curriculum.” Al Herring, Principal Plain Dealing Elementary School, Plain Dealing, LA Check out the Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model at http://marvinmarshall.com/
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 8 Number 12
#2 Positive Behavior Support
#6 Help for substitute teachers
#7 DWS helps at home