Discipline

Kerry and her teaching partner, Darlene, continue to share how they use the Hierarchy from Discipline Without Stress.

After teaching the hierarchy, we rarely refer to the bottom two levels. Perhaps once or twice a week we may need to do this but seldom more than that. We find that the key to success with the hierarchy is to focus almost exclusively on the higher two levels by always motivating the kids to aim for Level C—or higher if they want.

We find we can help students achieve Level C motivation most of the time by being proactive in our use of the hierarchy. BEFORE DOING MOST ACTIVITIES, WE PROACTIVELY DISCUSS OR TELL STUDENTS WHAT LEVEL C LOOKS LIKE.

In … >>>

This topic of the teen-age brain has been an interesting one to me since so much of what I have read suggests that the development of teenagers’ brains is somewhat “arrested” and that this may be the cause of so much of their behavior.

It has been said that it is easier for adults—in contrast to teenagers—to suppress bad responses to peer influence. Adults are better able to keep themselves doing what is appropriate, rather than subscribing to temptation.

“Discipline without Stress” teaches (a) a hierarchy so young people understand the differences between internal motivation and external motivation—and to be cautious about negative peer influences (b) impulse management—the necessity for having a procedure to redirect impulses and temptations, and (c) … >>>

Thank you for your book! It so nicely synthesizes what we know about “best practice” teaching and classroom management. I love the framework and the language that you use. Since discovering your book, many people on our staff have been doing a book study and plan on implementing your system in our classrooms.

I used much of the system last year and it was my best year of teaching ever!

I am not great at “posing” questions yet, but, “You cannot learn a skill and be perfect at the same time.”

Thanks for writing that!

Sonya Overman
Chamberlain Elementary School
Northern Indiana

Sample chapters from the book are online at the book.… >>>

Posts at the mailring:

QUESTION:
I received my "Discipline Without Stress" book and started introducing the levels and changing my behaviors. My question is how do I set everything up for the beginning of the year? What do I communicate to parents? I have to turn in a class discipline plan to my principal. What would it look like on paper? I usually send this same plan home to parents. Before I have always had the standard (1) warning, (2) 5 minutes time out, (3) 15-minute time out, (4) note home, and (5) trip to office. Very concrete, easy for principal and parents to understand, but it did not work.

RESPONSE:
The book has excellent forms in the back that … >>>

I was asked what sets my discipline approach apart from others. Without hesitation, I said, “The leve and self-monitoring.”

The next question came, “Whose hierarchy?”

I responded, “Mine.”

“Do you refer to it as ‘My Hierarchy’ and, if not, what do you call it?”

I responded, “The Levels of Development.”

The conversation concluded with the question, “Since it is
YOUR hierarchy, then why don’t you call it the ‘Marshall
Hierarchy’?”

I pondered the question and concluded that when I refer to other hierarchies, I refer to them preceded by the name associated with each, viz., Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, Jean Piaget’s hierarchy of cognitive development, and Lawrence Kohlberg’s hierarchy of moral development.

Perhaps reference to the Marvin Marshall … >>>

Discipline Without Stress (DWS) uses no coercion of any kind. This does not mean that the approach is permissive, “soft,” or lacks authority. The message is that, one way or another, DWS will help young people help themselves to become more responsible, more successful, and more pleased with themselves.

IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR IS AN INDICATION OF NOT BEING HAPPY.

Irresponsible behavior is also an indication of not feeling successful. POOR BEHAVIOR IS AN ATTEMPT TO SATISFY A PROBLEM. The DWS approachis is o help the student using the Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model.
… >>>

QUESTION:

I believe in the Discipline Wihout Stress approach, but what should I do with the students who prompt me to yearn for that ditch digging job that I hated as a kid?

RESPONSE:

1. Revisit the impulse management link. You may even want to copy and learn the dialog. Continue to repeat the mantra, “Do you want to remain a victim?” If the procedure established was not effective, then repeat the conversation, “Let’s try another procedure so that you will not continue to be a victim of your impulses.”

2. Re-read “Solving Circles” on pages 156-157 in the book. Select that student as one of the participants and yourself as the other.

3. Ask for help. Even … >>>

QUESTION:

This is an embarrassing situation for me. I have a strange problem with my son that I have never heard about before. He is fifteen years old and has been stealing my clothes or his sister's clothing and cutting them up into little pieces with scissors or cutting our underwear into a thong. We have had him seeing a psychiatric therapist for over a year, with no resolution to this problem. He seems to do this without any warning or reason. I can't link it to anger at us, although he may just not be expressing his anger. It seems like an act of anger. He doesn't talk or express his emotions much at all.

I have required him … >>>

In June, 2002 I subscribed to your monthly online newsletter back when the circulation was just over 1800. Your newsletter quickly became a regular part of our staff meeting discussions. Teachers subscribed, and the way our classrooms and school worked together began to change as we embraced your work and implemented your ideas.

At the start of 2005, I presented each of my teachers with their own copy of "Discipline without Stress, Punishments or Rewards" and regularly include tips from your "Tips for parents" in our school newsletters—all with positive feedback on how simple and effective your ideas are—without stress, punishments or rewards!

Promoting responsibility, sending positive messages, offering choices, and encouraging reflection allows Upokongaro School to be truly learner … >>>

QUESTION:

I am a first-year home schooling mom. I have a self-motivated third grade boy who also has Sensory Integration Disorder. I also have a fifth grade girl who struggles with staying focused and would rather read all day.

My biggest struggle this year has been our morning routine. My daughter, who is very bright, has difficulty staying within the parameters of time set out for her. The routine set out is to be done in 1 1/2 hours. Many days this goes to two hours or more.

Her routine is written out for her step by step and I feel that it is very realistic. My desire is to start school at 8:00 a.m., but this rarely happens for … >>>

I received a communication from a school that was implementing my approach and queried about (1) the use of forms and (2) administrative back up.

1) Use of forms:

I explained that when I first developed the Raise Responsibility System, I used the essay and self-diagnostic forms.

I used the essay form to have a student reflect:
(1) What did I do? (Acknowledgment),
(2) What can I do to prevent it from happening again? (Choice), and
(3) What will I do? (Commitment) (page 274 in the book)
(Forms were never used in primary grades.)

If misbehavior continued, then the Self-Diagnostic Referral would be used
(page 275 or 276–depending upon the grade level).

Every day was treated as a new … >>>

Our faculty is “on board” and we have purchased your book for nearly all of them. I also have joined the DisciplineWithoutStress Mailring and found it a wonderful resource as well.

Some teachers are experiencing a loss of comfort level when first starting. Any suggestions?

RESPONSE:

Anything new is different and has an effect on one’s feeling and comfort. Most adults naturally prefer something with which they are comfortable rather than doing something in a different way. Anything new to adults feels odd at first—until new neural connections become well established.

People who use the approach of being positive (instead of being negative negative), offering choices (instead of attempting to dominate), and asking reflective questions (rather than telling) soon discover … >>>

This post was prompted by a message from Leo, a teacher in China.

In an attempt to spread Discipline Without Stress and share success, Leo requested that we post a comment on his blog (weblog).

He wrote, “I would like to share my blog. It is a very new and raw site, mostly about Discipline Without Stress experience here in China. I also have some pics of my classroom and my students there. If you are interested in how I use Discipline Without Stress in my 90-students classroom, check it out.

“I would really appreciate it if you could leave a comment there. I need your encouragements and believe it is one of best ways to let more people in … >>>

I received the following in a recent e-mail:

“I heard about your newsletter from a teacher in my district. She began using your system and enthusiastically shared it with everybody she could. I am using it and love the ‘stress free’ aspect of the kids knowing they are responsible for their choices—rather than me!”

Thanks,

Janet Gibney
Summit, New Jersey

More testimonials are available at http://marvinmarshall.com.… >>>

QUESTION:

What sort of consequence would a student with level “A” behavior receive? I’ve been down the rewards and punishment route but as we know, it is not effective.

I repeat instructions until the student complies or a more serious consequence seems inevitable. It is very important that the child know that insubordination will not be tolerated.

RESPONSE:

The answer to this is in a prime difference between Discipline Without Stress and other approaches. Whether the consequence is referred to as logical or natural, as long as it is IMPOSED it will prompt a negative feeling and, therefore, one of resistance.

Rather than imposing a consequence, ELICIT it. The conversation goes something like, “This behavior is on a level that … >>>

Jim Collins' book, "GOOD TO GREAT: WHY SOME COMPANIES MAKE THE LEAP AND OTHERS DON'T," is a very popular book on leadership. I heard him interviewed, and I quote his final thought regarding leadership as applied to schools.

"You can take away blackboards, you can take away the computers, you can take away the administration, and you can take away the building. You can take away everything. It all happens in that magical intersection of a wonderful teacher and a student. And when you get that happening SYSTEMATICALLY, that is ultimately what really turns the wheel."

With this in mind, I share a letter I received:

———–

Dear Dr. Marshall:

This letter is a follow-up to your presentation for our … >>>

The following is from a post on the mailring:

“I am always working on thinking about, ‘What can I do to change a procedure to make it work better, and what did I do/not do that led to things not running smoothly?

“Monday my principal stopped me in the hall on my way out the door and said, ‘I never see your kids.’

“At first I didn’t know what he meant. Then he said, ‘I never see any of your kids in my office. I just want to know what you do, and what your philosophy is because I know you have to be doing something different.’ (He knows I definitely didn’t get the ‘easy class,’ either!)

“I was … >>>

A researcher working on a large study of discipline and classroom management programs in America contacted me. She mentioned that her report would be presented to the American Educational Research Association.

She asked whether her reference should be to the "Raise Responsibility System" or to "Discipline without Stress."

I chose "Discipline Without Stress" for the following reasons:

–"Discipline without Stress" is in the title of the book, whereas the "Raise Responsibility System" is a chapter in the book (Chapter 3),

–Teaching procedures—the key to effective classroom management—precedes the introduction of the "Raise Responsibility System,"

–The three principles to practice for becoming more effective and improving relationships (Chapter 1 of the book) is not part of the "Raise Responsibility System,"

–The … >>>