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Priorities and Time Management

On December 14, 2009 / Effectiveness

If you truly want to manage your time effectively, stop thinking in terms of amount and start thinking in terms of priority.

If you truly want to manage your time effectively, stop thinking

in terms of amount and start thinking in terms of priority.

Divide priorities into musts and wants. Ensure that you have

ample time for the musts, then fill in the wants as needed, and

ignore everything that isn’t on the priority list–unless you

have still more time left over. If not doing your wants creates

problems, they will become priorities. If not doing them doesn’t

matter, they will disappear. And if all of your musts are

work-related, throw out the list and start again.

Divide priorities into … >>>

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Happiness and Gratefulness

On December 11, 2009 / Responsibility

We have a moral responsibility to be happy.

We owe it to our wife, husband or partner; our fellow workers;

our children; our friends–indeed to anyone who comes into our

lives. If for no other reason, people act more decently when they

are happy.

If we equate happiness with success, we will never achieve the

amount of success necessary to make us happy. There is always

more success than we can achieve. As long as what we do is JOYFUL

and MEANINGFUL, happiness will ensue.

Neither is money the cause of happiness. Some unhappy poor people

have the illusion that money will make them happy. (Unhappy rich

people donít even have that.)

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

The Book: “Discipline Without Stress”

On December 10, 2009 / Discipline

“This is an important, highly readable book for beginning teachers struggling to find techniques that work—as well as for experienced teachers and administrators tired of maladaptive educational practices. Coupling solid research with countless practical examples, Dr. Marshall has made a valuable contribution to the literature. I highly recommend this book for everyone’s professional library.”

“This is an important, highly readable book for beginning

teachers struggling to find techniques that work—as well as for

experienced teachers and administrators tired of maladaptive

educational practices. Coupling solid research with countless

practical examples, Dr. Marshall has made a valuable contribution

to the literature. I highly recommend this book for everyone’s

professional library.”

Larry Litwack, Ed.D., Professor

Counseling and Applied Educational Psychology

Northeastern University

Editor-in-Chief

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Inappropriate High School Behavior

On December 9, 2009 / Responsibility

QUESTION:|
I am returning to teaching after a 30-year absence and find that CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT is my biggest challenge. Typical high school behaviors I have experienced include LACK OF INTEREST, MANIPULATION, INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE, and DISREGARD FOR RULES.

QUESTION

I am returning to teaching after a 30-year absence and find that

CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT is once again my biggest challenge. Typical

high school behaviors I have experienced include LACK OF

INTEREST, MANIPULATION, INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE, and DISREGARD FOR

RULES.

I recently attempted to implement the Raise Responsibility System

in my substitute teaching assignments and have experienced some

degree of success. Students seem to be somewhat dumbfounded when

I explain the behavior levels and start to quiet down and get

busy soon after I begin the first

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Understanding the Levels

On December 8, 2009 / Learning

QUESTION:

I viewed your website and agree totally with your ideas. However,

in order for your ABCD model to work, would it not require

compliance throughout the hierarchy?

RESPONSE

I don't think you would want people to comply to anarchy or

bossing others. Also, you can only operate on one level at a

time–although we operate at different levels at different times.

Complying to directions is natural and acceptable. parents teach

youngster to say, "Thank you," other cultural amenities, and

manners. These are not "intrinsic." They need to be taught and

learned. This is the prime reason why I refer to "internal"

motivation, rather than "intrinsic" motivation.

All young people are on level C as they grow. At a

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

5 Tips for Improving Relationships

On December 7, 2009 / Relationships

Here are five suggestions for improving relationships—with others as well as with yourself.

Here are five suggestions for improving relationships–with

others as well as with yourself.

First, give affirmations. A simple acknowledgement can have

dramatic results. This is especially important with young people.

They want to assert their independence and autonomy. Just

acknowledging that you have heard their point of view–regardless

of agreement–can have a profound effect on how your growing

young one feels about the relationship.

Second, use quality listening time. Quality time is

quality-driven, not necessarily quantity-driven. Simply give your

full attention to the person speaking. By using eye contact, a

nod now and then, and occasionally interjecting a clarification

communicates that you are “with” the person–that you

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Two Word-Tip

On December 4, 2009 / Effectiveness

I share with you the greatest two-word tip of all time.

These two words are the single, best advice in improving your

effectiveness in any endeavor.

I encourage you to write these two words down and perhaps tape

them to your bathroom mirror so you will look at them every

morning as you begin your day. These two words can enhance your

career and bring more satisfaction and joy to your life. They can

literally change your life. If you are a classroom teacher, use

the two words with your students. If you are in an educational or

leadership position, use these two words to prompt improvement in

others.

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Foul Language and Character Building

On December 2, 2009 / Responsibility

Until the 1960’s, school books were replete with vocabulary words like integrity, industry, work, perseverance, self-reliance, self-examination, honesty, character, and responsibility.

There was glorification of hard work and an emphasis on education and self-discipline.

Many of our founding fathers wrote down principles which directed their thoughts and actions. Among the best known of these people were Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, and Thomas Jefferson.

The vocabulary words noted above were the basis of many of the principles found in these people’s journals.

To the chagrin of many of us who want to retain high standards of civility, it is very common to hear expletives and formerly unacceptable four-letter words used in daily conversations.

Not long ago, I was talking with a … >>>

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Consequences & Not Knowing Them

On December 1, 2009 / Discipline

QUESTION:

QUESTION

I have heard you say that not knowing a consequence is more

effective than telling a student what the consequence is. How is

that since we are required to post consequences for inappropriate

classroom behavior?

RESPONSE

When the concept of posting consequences was first introduced, I

was an assistant principal of a high school of 3,200 students. My

experiences at that suburban school, as well as my counseling and

administrative experience in urban schools in Los Angeles,

prompted the thought–which I still believe: When dealing with

inappropriate behavior, not knowing is more powerful and

effective than knowing.

When someone knows a consequence for an inappropriate behavior,

the risk is reduced. But when the person does not know the

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

2 and 3 Year Olds

On November 30, 2009 / Parenting

QUESTION:

Dear Dr Marshall,

I am mother of two young children (age 3 and 2). I just finished

reading the second chapter of your book about motivating. How can

I apply the theories for young children? I think without giving

rewards and punishments it is hard to make them learn

appropriate/inappropriate behavior. Is it too abstract for a

preschooler to understand internal motivation?

RESPONSE:

Yes, your children are too young to understand the concept of

internal motivation. However, you can teach them appropriate

behavior without using rewards or punishments.

Here are a few techniques:

1. When the child does something that is not appropriate, lightly

touch a wrist and move your head sideways (in a "no" "no"

motion). Persevere. You

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Diversity and Opinions

On November 27, 2009 / Relationships

What we think is a simple sharing of opinion can be construed by the other party as denigrating.

What we think is a simple sharing of opinion can be construed by

the other party as denigrating.

In such cases, it doesn’t do any good to try to convince the

person that the way he or she feels is wrong. You need to deal

with the way the person feels to effect their thinking.

The most effective way to do this is to apologize–that your

intent was not to prompt poor feelings but rather just to share

an opinion. Then acknowledge that you accept their opinion–even

if you differ with it.

That’s what diversity means.

In such cases, it doesn’t do … >>>

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Persistence

On November 26, 2009 / Effectiveness

President Calvin Coolidge said, “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.

President Calvin Coolidge said, “Nothing in the world can take

the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common

than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded

genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full

of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are

omnipotent.”

How many times have we given up only to find that one more

attempt would have brought success.

As a salesman and later a sales manager, my mantra was a

four-letter word: “Next!” Every rejection prompted this thought,

which gave me optimism and kept me going.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful … >>>

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Allowances and Responsibility

On November 25, 2009 / Responsibility

In a recent article entitled, “Teaching Your Children Responsibility,” the author stated the following:

“When you give a child an allowance that’s tied to doing chores or work, it becomes much more meaningful and begins teaching children about the rewards and frustrations of having to earn a living.”

This reasoning is very common: REWARDS ARE THE RESULT OF WORK.

HOWEVER, THIS THINKING IS MISDIRECTED. Employment is contract-based. A wage is compensation for services. Therefore, tying an allowance to work is misdirected. The purpose for giving an allowance is to generate an understanding of finance, budgeting, and to experience scarcity and wealth.

Let the youngster know that the reason for the allowance is to provide some spending money coupled with the … >>>

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Brain and Body Connection

On November 24, 2009 / Effectiveness

“I think; therefore, I am” is perhaps the most famous statement in the history of philosophy. The statement by Rene Descartes, penned in 1637, still has a significant influence on our thinking in the 21st century.

The statement is the foundation of Cartesian dualism that separates the brain from the body. In his book, Damasio challenges Descartes’ pronouncement. Damasio, an M.D. and Ph.D., now at the University of Southern California and adjunct professor at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in La Jolla, California, is the recipient of scores of scientific honors and prizes. He is internationally recognized for his research on the neurology of vision, memory, and language along with his contributions to the understanding of Alzheimer’s disease.

He … >>>

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Using Referrals with 7th Grade Students

On November 23, 2009 / Discipline

QUESTION:

QUESTION

We attended your presentation at the National Middle Schools

Association conference in Portland, Oregon, recently, and my

teammates and I are now piloting your program with our 7th

graders. We all purchased a copy of your book, and as the

humanities teacher on the team I taught the levels to the

students. So far things are going pretty well, but I have two

burning questions for you.

First, I am a little unsure on how the steps are implemented. As

you know, uncertainty in a discipline program can be a dangerous

thing! Basically my question is this: Does a student have to

misbehave three times in one class period in order to receive a

diagnostic? In other words,

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

A Better Response than “No”

On November 22, 2009 / Effectiveness

QUESTION:

I find that I am telling my youngster, “No,” so often that it

disturbs me. I want to be positive, but “No” sounds so negative.

Do you have any suggestions?

RESPONSE:

Interesting that you asked this question since I ran into a

similar situation recently with my wife.

We were about to attend a “Robbie Burns Dinner”–a formal event

dedicated to the memory of the gifted Scottish poet and song

writer who gave us such world classics as “Auld Lange Syne” and

“My Love Is Like A Red, Red Rose.”

I planned to wear formal Scottish attire–a “Montrose” jacket and

kilt. My wife inquired if she should wear a certain dress that

she had selected. I asked myself,”How

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Telling the Truth

On November 21, 2009 / Relationships

Telling the truth may not be comfortable, it may not make you look your best, but it’s a sure way to good relationships.

Telling the truth may not be comfortable, it may not make you

look your best, but it’s a sure way to good relationships.

I like the way one wealthy individual told the truth. He was

asked how he had amassed a huge fortune. He said, “It was really

quite simple. I bought an apple for five cents, spent the evening

polishing it and sold it the next day for ten cents. With this, I

bought two apples, spent the evening polishing them, and sold

them for twenty cents. And so it went until I had amassed $1.60.

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

When Not to Listen to Yourself

On November 19, 2009 / Effectiveness

“Don’t listen to yourself when you’re in a bad mood.”
—Advise from my mother-in-law at the celebration of the 100th anniversary of her birth.

“Don’t listen to yourself when you’re in a bad mood.”

Advise from my mother-in-law

At the celebration of the 100th anniversary of her birth

January 15, 200

… >>>

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