Did you know that language and thought shape your reality? In other words, change your words and you can change your life. Sound too simple to be true? It’s not. Studies have shown that changing how you talk changes how you think, and what you think becomes your reality. The power and importance of language and thought and how it shapes your reality was reinforced to me years ago when I read George Orwell’s book 1984, which was written in 1949 at the beginning of the cold war. The book is about how the world of the future could be with Big Brother watching you. In this classic book, George Orwell demonstrated the power of words, using the example of
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Click to read the January 2017 Without Stress Newsletter
READ MORE >>> →These days we can see an unprecedented level of student stress. Between school expectations, numerous extracurricular activities, peer pressure, and social stress, students of all ages are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and just all-out stressed. And just as stress is hard on adults, causing both physical and emotional symptoms, it’s equally as hard on children who may not have yet developed any positive coping mechanisms. If you notice your child exhibiting signs of student stress, try these three quick tips. 1. Practice Positivity Positive communications elevate the spirit; they offer encouragement and support. They send the message that the other person is capable of handling challenges. Positivity creates hope and prompts feelings of being valued, supported, and respected. Because being positive
READ MORE >>> →Have you ever felt overwhelmed and stressed but didn’t know exactly why? Of course you have. We all have at one time or another. Unfortunately, when these situations occur, most people attempt to treat the symptoms of their feelings rather than address the situation itself. It’s important, though, to uncover what’s causing you to feel overwhelmed and stressed, rather than just treating the symptoms. Here is a short story to illustrate my point: A teacher walked into her classroom after a rainy weekend and discovered a puddle of water in the middle of the floor. She called the custodian and told him what was wrong. He came and mopped up the puddle. The next morning, the scenario was repeated. When
READ MORE >>> →Have you ever wished for an easy life? One where you have no stress and no struggles? One where everything just seems to go your way? Of course! We all have. But an easy life isn’t as great as it may seem. Chances are you’ve seen people’s lives unfold on social media. And at times their lives may seem easier, better, or more charmed than yours. But realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. So, if you want a better life, don’t expect it to just happen. You must tend to it. What are the secrets to
READ MORE >>> →Trump stress avoidance tips is about helping those who are having difficulty accepting the 2016 presidential election results. Three people suggested that I should share my thoughts about the subject of stress that so many people are undergoing after the 2016 presidential election results. This makes sense since I am the author of three books on dealing with stress: Live Without Stress, Parenting Without Stress, and Discipline Without Stress. More people are having difficulty accepting the results of this presidential election than any in recent memory. For those experiencing anxiety and alarm since the election, here are three tips to reduce your anxiety and stress and that will improve your disposition. Before sharing the three tips, keep this in mind: There is no
READ MORE >>> →Science repeatedly tells us that the mind body connection is real. Yet we often do things in our everyday life and routines that don’t exemplify this connection. As a result, we experience undo stress and life feels hard. To better understand how this works, try this little exercise. While sitting, let you shoulders slump and look down. How do you feel? If you’re like most people, you probably feel a little weak and lacking in energy. Now pull your shoulders up and put your chest out. How do you feel now? Did you demeanor change for the positive? That’s the mind body connection at work! The next time you feel bad, change your posture and notice the effect it has
READ MORE >>> →Your body posture can greatly impact how you feel. Striking the correct body posture can also help you reduce the amount of stress you feel. Researchers at both Columbia and Harvard Universities have found that you can manifest your personal power simply by focusing on your body posture. They found that certain postures make people feel more commanding while other postures invoke feelings of stress or sadness. The researchers found that cortisol and testosterone levels significantly change for most people after they stand in high power positions. In other words, when you stand firmly on both legs with your shoulders back and chest out (think Superhero pose), you’ll feel better and more positive about yourself and your situation. Conversely, testosterone
READ MORE >>> →Stress and anxiety can affect people of all ages—whether you are near retirement or a stressed student. The key to reduce stress and anxiety is through the self-satisfaction of effort. As the story about stress and age goes, there was a dentist in Duluth, Minnesota who had more patients at age 89 than he ever had in his previous years of practice. His hands were steady, and his peers considered him very competent. Whenever anyone asked him about the possibility of retirement and giving up the stress, he’d say with a twinkle in his eye, “I’ll quit when they carry me up the hill, feet first.” Apparently, anxiety and stress were not a concern to him. Contrast this with a student in his early 20s. On many
READ MORE >>> →Stressful situations are bound to happen. But no matter what occurs, you can always choose your response. Consider this true story. I was comfortably seated in an airplane ready for take-off on a flight to California. I had just started reading my book when the pilot announced a two-hour delay. Los Angeles International Airport was fogged in. After a few minutes of additional reading, I looked up from my book. I was one of the few passengers who had not deplaned. Even with a good read, adding two hours to the flight seemed a little long to remain seated. I left my materials in the overhead storage compartment and returned to the airport terminal. After a half-hour of strolling and
READ MORE >>> →How developed are your listening skills? Without good listening skills, you could be making your life much more difficult. The fact is that so much stress occurs when people don’t listen to each other. Listening—really listening—to others can improve relationships and make life much more enjoyable. To make this happen, though, you need to engage in true listening, or what I call “empathic listening.” When it comes to listening, “active listening” is a term with which most are familiar. It means constructively engaging in the act of interpretation while capturing the information being presented. Stephen R. Covey in his classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, points out that most often we do not listen with the intention
READ MORE >>> →You can reduce your stress through diffusion by understanding the difference between a light bulb and a laser beam. I learned something about focusing and diffusion at a very young age that can apply to relieving stress. When I was a young boy, I had small magnifying glass. When I held the magnifying glass at a certain distance from an object, it made the object I was focusing on look bigger. I could also see the object much more clearly. After using it for its original purpose, I discovered another use for it. I learned that it had an unsuspected power. If I focused the sun’s rays on a tiny spot and, if I held it there long enough, it would
READ MORE >>> →A few years ago I read an article about the top traits of good parents. Even though it’s been several years since the article’s publication, the information is timeless and I wanted to share it once again. The following is from “WHAT MAKES A GOOD PARENT? A scientific analysis ranks the 10 most effective child-rearing practices” by Robert Epstein, Scientific American Mind, November/December 2010, pp. 46-51 The Top Traits of Good Parents Here are 10 competencies that predict good parenting outcomes, listed roughly in order from most to least important. The skills—all derived from published studies—were ranked based on how well they predict a strong parent-child bond and children’s happiness, health, and success. LOVE AND AFFECTION. You support and accept
READ MORE >>> →Wouldn’t you love an easy way to resolve conflict with others? The fact is that disagreement between people is bound to happen. And disagreement causes so much stress! We see it happen every day, especially on social media. Whether it’s online, in the news, or while conversing with a friend, whenever someone expresses a viewpoint that is different from our own, arguments and stress often occur. But why? Why is a differing opinion so stressful? Why do many people insist that everyone think like they do? Why should a difference of opinion cause stress? Why is it so hard to resolve conflict? Unfortunately, I don’t have the answers to these questions. And even if I did, I’m sure some people
READ MORE >>> →Smiling reduces stress and anxiety, and it can be a great help in stress management. Scientists readily concur. They know that negative emotions can cause a cascade of biological reasons that harm the body. These include the chronic stress that increases inflammation, and inflammation has been linked to a host of health problems. So it is not a stretch to think that smiling, a cousin of happiness, may also prompt changes in the body’s systems that can reduce certain diseases that prompt inflammation in the body. Smiling, laughter, humor, and mirth are all good medicine. To put it in a few words, humor as medicine is not joke. All these reduce stress hormones and often lead to the release of endorphins,
READ MORE >>> →Most teachers know that classroom procedures improve student behavior. Unfortunately, many teachers forget to implement them. Recently a teacher asked me for advice regarding seven students who repeatedly disrupted the class. These students would continuously get up for unnecessary tissues. It was almost like a game to them—to see who could get up the most times to retrieve as many tissues as possible. For situations like this, there are three basic principles of the Discipline Without Stress methodology to follow. 1) You’ll get better results if you approach everything from a POSITIVE point of view, even when the situation itself might be negative. 2) In this approach, the students are asked to take responsibility. Rather than telling young people what
READ MORE >>> →Volume 16 Number 12 December 2016 Newsletter #185 IN THIS ISSUE: Welcome Reducing Stress Promoting Responsibility Increasing Effectiveness Improving Relationships Promoting Learning Parenting Without Stress Discipline without Stress (DWS) What People Say 1. WELCOME MONTHLY QUOTE: Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection. —Winston Churchill ===== The eBook version of LIVE WITHOUT STRESS: HOW TO ENJOY THE JOURNEY will soon be available online at Amazon’s Kindle store for $9.99. Comments from people who have read the draft are available. CONTENTS: Part I INSIGHTS THAT REDUCE STRESS 1 Assumptions 2 The Brain-Body Connection 3 External vs. Internal Motivation Part II PRACTICES THAT REDUCE STRESS 4 Positivity 5 Choices 6 Reflection Part III APPLICATIONS THAT REDUCE STRESS 7 Procedures 8
READ MORE >>> →Optimistic vs pessimistic – Which are you? While it’s natural for everyone to flip flop and take on either of two roles during key points in life, chances are there is one side you lean to more than the other. Hopefully it’s that of an optimist! Optimists are more than just positive people. They are also healthier! Research shows that being an optimist is associated with a healthier immune system and an ability to better cope with physical pain. Other studies have connected a positive attitude to a quicker recovery from heart surgery and a reduced likelihood of re-hospitalization, as well as to a superior ability to handle the emotional upheaval of life-threatening illnesses like cancer. Optimistic vs Pessimistic –
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